Oh I'm Sorry...

Yep just had to share this as I saw it on Facebook this week!

Funny thing is, I shared it on my wall and within two minutes,

I had folks commenting to me that they live it everyday!

Imagine that?

Yes this has been a week of some powerful thoughts I've been told; via email, phone calls, and texts,

along with the comments of readers I can tell I have touched on thoughts and personal and professional experiences happening all over the place.

Now this cartoon that is sadly so very true across the globe.

People who believe and are made to feel that they are soooo sorry

but they only exist when someone needs something or finds it convenient to use or abuse them for their own gain or benefit.

It begs the question,

"what is wrong with people and personal responsibility today".

...

I am so sick and weary of hearing two words:

"I'm sorry"

that I am about to SNAP.

However in that cartoon, I just love it, as it speaks volumes in the message, and in the overall image.

It would appear from the fast comment under my sharing it, that folks are forgetting about that old thing called

"tough love", "boundaries" and

"self regulation".

Remember that airline steward/ess

that reminds us to put our oxygen mask on first before rendering aide to another?

We have seemingly become a group of folks that give freely to others when the need arises, yet it turns quickly into  enabling and gets those who ask or need into ones who feel somehow entitled and often  to our own harm or downfall.

People need boundaries, need to take best care of self in order to have something to give to others.

One must nourish their bodies and shelter themselves from harm and from those who repeatedly ask and take and do not learn from the past, present and learn to pay it forward with grace and gratitude.

Hand in hand we walk, or we should.

Leaning in is much different than pulling the carpet out from under a person; from taking the faith and trust that is so blindly given and then robbing one of such cherished commodities, thinking it's all restored with two words:

I'm Sorry.

At some point along the way another question must be explored;

sorry for what?

That you got caught?

That the game is at an end?

That the lies or deceit have been exposed?

That one does not play a playa that invented the game?

What a word sorry becomes.

Sorry:  adjective, sor·ri·er, sor·ri·est.

1.

feeling regret, compunction, sympathy, pity, etc.: to be sorry to leave one's friends; to be sorry for a remark; to be sorry for someone in trouble.

2.

regrettable or deplorable; unfortunate; tragic: a sorry situation; to come to a sorry end.

3.

sorrowful, grieved, or sad: Was she sorry when her brother died?

4.

associated with sorrow; suggestive of grief or suffering; melancholy; dismal.

5.

wretched, poor, useless, or pitiful: a sorry horse.

Then what?

After sorry what is next?

  Are fingers pointed and others blamed, fault laid on situations, peer pressure, things that got out of hand, bad choices made again and again...

and once again,

"Oh I'm sorry I exist only when you need someone to pull you out of the trench that you once again are laying in, dug and designed by your own doing" 
Thank you's become seldom said with sincerity as much as longed for with true heart felt expressions and understanding... 

Yes I can see why there were comments under that picture; how folks feel like they have been abused, used, and victimized by those they love, or used up by them along that path of "I'm sorry it won't happen again" or "I don't understand why you don't believe me this time".

Only to be followed by

"only God can judge me"

and the good ole' line of

"I need help with my bills until the tax return of 2015 comes in".

...

Many must step through their own fears, their own demons, out of their own way to STAND UP

and

to set boundaries, to self regulate with others who they feel abused and taken advantage by and of.

This is a life to be held sacred, people may have to be served notice;

and that is where it gets hard; where the rubber meets the roads of follow through and follow UP.

...

 Each person has their own road to travel; rights and with those rights are responsibilities, maybe their should be just agreements, that are sealed in the heart, or re-visited each morning an night;
 and that big ole thing called

COMMON SENSE

...

sometimes I have to hold my head with my hands and just wonder,

if common sense will come into vogue again.
Then again, maybe those Agreements would make for awesome tattoos on beautiful skin that would serve as daily reminders to be all that people should and can be with their choices
while not offending their beliefs
or the one who gave his life for others
and called to so often to get folks out of the jam or off the sides of the roads they seem to throw themselves into?
...
Just a thought.
Or those agreements can be an app that is viewed thousands of times a day as new phones and games are played on social media and phones and they just POP UP as the reminder of codes of conduct and self regulation!

I miss back then; when folks sat around a table, worked and played and prayed together.

When you could call a friend at 2am and they would just of course be there, because it was a real need; not a bad habit or threat that once again was a repeat performance of the last one.

when if you needed a couple hundred bucks it was a once in a lifetime need that you felt like you would rather take a beating that have to ask for, and you worked your ass to the bone to pay back; rather than ever ever have to ask again; and went without to be sure that you didn't fall short again.

When calling someone was because you wanted to, not because it was convenient to or that there was a hidden agenda about to come out during the conversation and that conversation was all about the one who called and edged into the "meee meee meee" moment.

Remember taking someone to dinner, knowing they would be mindful of their order because you were paying the bill?  Only to be shocked as they looked over the menu and ordered the most expensive item, just cos’ they were not paying the bill!

Oh for the love of baloney sandwiches and those who care when we step out and into others for just the love of doing it and it is noted.

 

 Yep 

seems common sense ain't so common anymore.

Let's all just sit back

and

let God judge it, and maybe he'll pay the mortgage too. Good luck with that, as I'm just sitting here reflecting and keepin it real on this most terrific Thursday.

DRSES 

"Ive Been Watching YOU"

 

Remember this?

 "I'm Watching you Focker"

was the line, that then had folks all over the place making the same gestures and heightened the awareness of 

"watching" each other as folks laughed through a movie, yet somehow knew that others and even they were watching perhaps a little closer!

Yes, often we watch, we wonder, we stand in amazement at times at others and if honest we often amaze ourselves, and not always in the best light.

We are human, we live and learn and make our own mistakes over time, and hopefully we learn from them.

Those who stand in the landmine created by others, receive the

"I'm sorry", amends are made, lives are carefully loved back together with time, great care placed in stitching the fabric in order to perhaps even make the cloth of relations stronger than ever.

Yet at times, truth be told, blankets are torn, and never to be put back together again nor mended.

Yet there are times when excuses are made; habits established, choices become the real words for patterns of destruction to self and others are taken down primrose paths through hell in the process. Sorry becomes as meaningless a word as rryos; it makes no sense to the ears or hearts anymore just as the letters are out of order so is the meaning and the actions that continue.

Anger is spewed as defenses are high; calls to "only God can Judge me" are thrown as marvelous and uplifting messages are left on voice mails, texts and on the walls of social media

and one shakes their head in wonder

while thinking indeed the world has gone mad.

The UP/Down of conversations that get started just end when comfort zones and reality are exposed, and start again as if with different people leaving folks to wonder if they have lost their timing or if just or only their mind and friend or relation.

Yet we know that indeed the Creator is watching, as are we; and joined by a host of others in wondering

and scratching our heads while just wanting to move to an island in a cottage and leaving no forwarding address.

It is truly amazing to listen, to "watch" and wonder the depth or lack thereof

of those who walk alongside us in this journey of life.

From bricklayers, to those pounding the pavement trying to tell us they will be great in local political offices, yet are soon to buy their Porsche; they want us to know they are with and for us; as our little and old trusty car sits in the driveway.

From those who say, "I'm here for you", yet they run not walk when trouble or need arises.

From those who say "I'm sorry" for my bad choices, yet do not find the courage to admit their guilt, their problem and take themselves for counseling to get the help and strength to heal their issues; yet continue on the path.

From those who say, "only God can Judge me" to those who run to the local tattoo shop and get Jesus placed on their bicep; yet will accuse a friend of being a liar; and yet when directly asked a question be evasive when they could possibly stand up and provide answers that would assist another in understanding.

Instead they tell you to go to the liar for truth and answers; they choose to not get involved? 

Responsibility and honor somehow replaced by tats and smack on and off the lips of babes.

Yep sounds like common sense is not so common anymore! 

Yes

I've been watching YOU

but most importantly

the children are watching as they grow and they watch closely.

Now they watch so much more close as the old days of marriages that are intact, and Ozzie and Harriett days are of the past; Happy Days on t.v. is long gone.

Marriage statistics have been in play for a while now; half of them fail, leaving one parent homes and that one parent has to work.

Leaving kids to always romance and dream of the "what ifs", the dad that is no longer around, the one who maybe sees a kid once a year if that;

or just is gone from sight.

Single moms who are trying to do both;

yet at times struggle with balance, with structure, with right way relations, or with making good and sound choices.

There are some stand out and stand UP Dads... we just don't hear as much on them as we do those "deadbeat dads" and single moms doing the jobs!

...

Were that it was like this:

 

Those children watch; they learn from those they see and are with.

Be it good or bad or indifferent.

They take it in and use that as the foundations for their lives as they grow and become more than children; as they move into those teens with raging hormones, and into adults who either are responsible and accountable to make good and firm choices that give to our world or take from it.

THEY HAVE BEEN WATCHING.

...

They were born into moments of love and God/Creator openess of the Universal Connection of beauty

and then they are taught by sound, touch, human bonding and what they watch.

The lessons learned from that moment on are either crawling to stand in glory and joy

or into ugliness, fear, lies, deceit, prejudice or hate. 

We learn by example, by what we are told, we learn truth trumps even a white lie.

OR we are taught to keep secrets and to lie, or we are "bought off" by those who want to protect their habits, addictions or choices.

Make no mistake though

not only God is judging,

so is the world, those children, members of family and community

as they grow and learn that others do not live or do as those they have been watching always do.

Stress is a terrible thing to teach to others.

Truth is a horrid thing to take advantage of or lose.

Believing in a person and having that taken away from you is a pain like a knife between the shoulder pains; and often happens as a result of lies, deceit and harms done from bad choices done over and again; added to the impact on others.

Faith and hope are mighty swords though and once used can combat many battles; and conquer the biggest dragons.

But make no mistake

just as that powerful song was sung, a visual was placed in the best of times where a child was "watching you and wanting to be like you"; is not only in the best of times.

It is also in patterns of each step that each one makes leaving an imprint on the earth, and in the hearts of those that are loved,

many times for the good

but sometimes for the awful.

That awful can include the way others are treated; abuse, relations with family, friends, strangers yet met.

It can include alcoholism, drug abuse, partying like an elephant thinking it an ant.

Prescription drug to ease pain or sleep better that turns into not waking up at all or scaring people and scarring them for life in the ways that drugs can alter behaviors and then leave folks afraid and scarred, waiting for the next phone call.

Watching YOU

can be the biggest lesson that others get to be the compass in which they set their own sails and voyages for their adventures or their lives.

 We are each the captains of our ships, our souls, our very lives.

One way or the other,

we take the helm

and our turns will and does affect all in the great scheme of things,

and you can bet your bippy

that someone somewhere is watching

and yes, folks are judging each step and each wave being made along the journey.

WATCHING

YOU

someone is watching and learning

Good/Great/or not so great

 Walk in Beauty

DRSES

"Only God Can JUDGE me"...

Interesting title for today,

interesting words I've read recently on the walls and in the words of some that are near to me.

Interesting sentiment expressed usually when someone is "jacked up", "attitude up", "defenses up", and wanting to pull the "only God can judge me" card.

I wonder at times where people learn that idea of only "God can judge me"

and then have the audacity to verbalize it in thought and actions as they live in ways that ungodly or not of thought of others or in "knee-jerk" reactions or selflishness.

"Only God can Judge Me"

certainly sounds like something that has been misinterpreted to me to benefit ones own behavior or cause.

I'm thinking I'll keep my belief that

God much prefers kind atheists above mean Christians or misinformed Christians any day of the week here. 

...

I read the words just this week;

"only God can Judge me" on the wall of Facebook; and then was even more surprised to see that 5 people liked the post!  They were of course all about 17 and 18 in age; two of them sport religious tattoos on their beautiful skin;

yet holler, yell at their Elders, stand in faces and let their judgment be known and rebel systems and now experiment with alcohol and deny it like every other teen since forever!
Yet others with similar "only God can judge me are 40-50 maybe even 65" and think that the world is just against them at times, stuck in their stories and always have to be right even when they are wrong in their slurs, their choices their siding up with those who are ugly, make bad choices and otherwise just know it all better than anyone else while professing to love all and throw knives.
Amazing isn't it?
Yet many...

They have attitude and are kinder to their friends parents than they are their own relations; yet now boast that only God can judge.

Where in the world do folks get such ideas?

Have they forgotten or been taught such foolishness by parents or faith communities; do they forget that people are judged each time they open their mouths and that actions speak louder than words as children, teens, adults and elders?

What of the "scales of justice"?

Yes they may not always swing properly, nor balance in the middle,

they were indeed set up as levels and measures of justice!

What of the education system; it is a system of judging whether one is passing the grade, can stand with others in learning and excelling.

What of the workplace?

What of passion, learning, moving, standing still?

What of behavior, skills, interactions?

We are judged every moment, in every day every way.

What of our mistakes, our choices, our very breath.

We are judged by our actions, our choices, our associations with others.

...

Going to church does not make a person a Christian or any other faith anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car, whether a Volkswagen bug or a Mercedes Benz.

....

"Only God can Judge me"

really?

What of that golden rule that most are taught?

Living a life that is honorable, that is one of respect even through the teen years and into adulthood and the years of being an Elder with responsible choices and behaviors; learning through tears and mistakes and wisdom handed down.

Falling and getting up and taking responsibility for actions made in haste or just plain out bad luck at times. 

Having the courage to be thankful in lean times, asking for help when needed but knowing that help is not always there, and that there are times you do without to get by and get along, yet feel the sting, the pride and the gratitude to pay it forward with the grace of God or Buddha, or whatever Universal Energy that makes us all stronger together than we will ever be alone.

What of service to others, or those who were there when we stood alone and afraid, or clothed us when we were naked and wanted to be as good if not better than those we walked with, and someone was there and took care of us?

Without shame we accepted what was given and we embraced the knowing we were not alone.

...

yet know we here the same old song from some; the same paths walked and the same results from mistakes made so often that the words "I'm sorry" fall on ears that are weary from the sound of it.

The choices made now seem more like self sabotage and the fall back line of defense is anger or a football game gone wrong

with the defense line supposedly to be the almighty line;

"only God can judge me"

....

Seems that the age ole' line was misinterpreted from that man made bible that said,

"judge not lest ye be judged".

yet we each are judged; and it is humankind and nature to judge.

It is set up to regulate human behavior and to keep folks going in the circle of life;

from the streets to the workplace to the courts to the political scene.

We are judged by those we play and pray and work with.

We often will judge ourselves if we look honestly within and ask ourselves are we living our best life; are we doing all that we can do for our children, our grandchildren, our communities, our earth.

Our we taking care of the temple within in order to take best care of those we say we love; so that when that final "judgment day" arrives we can then hope to hear 

from the Creator, from God/dess

"welcome home son/daughter, job well done"?

...

From birth throughout our lives until that day;

we learn lessons, valuable life lessons,

we are responsible for the choices we make, we are taught by those who raise us, and then we hit an age when we have to decide were those things we taught right or wrong.

Hopefully foundations were laid for each of us; and it is then up to each of us to build our houses, craft them from within, and to walk our own walk.

Build those houses to last your lifetime, teach lessons and learn along the way.

"only God can judge me"?

Really?

...

I wouldn't be so sure about that.

Those 10 Commandments that many learned throughout the years?

The honoring part, the lying parts alone

may affect that judgment on that final day;

it sure is affecting how folks are viewed today isn't it?

...

When one is pushed against a wall; when one is confronted on lying, when one hears things they do not want to hear, asked questions and asked to respond with honor, honesty, integrity

and replies with anger, or high intensity in volume;

there is a pretty good clue there that something lurks in the water.

And when the reply comes with

"only God can judge me"

you can bet there is more than meets the eye in that water

and that someone might be ready to snap!

Ah yes, it would be wonderful if folks didn't judge others, didn't have to wonder or not believe.

But, trust and truth are sacred to the heart; and once bent, once bad choices that affect others and systems are bent or broken, it becomes hard to regain balance.

Justice sweet justice you travel so slow;

but you can't change my love of the rose!

 Would that people realize that life is and can be as beautiful yet as fragile and fragrant as a rose.

Not always as it appears, one has to be aware of the thorns, respectful of it, in awe of it, taking each breath mindfully before speaking and knowing of the beauty even at times when tearing the skin by the thorn; knowing you will heal yet may leave a scar.

Truth at all costs, whether big or small.

Judgment is a big word; a reality of our world and actions and steps we take in our days on this earth.

To live our lives in truth and honor leaves an imprint on others, our community, our own well being.

We not need fear judgment, nor even think of the word or how or who will judge us in this life or the next if we live our lives with truth and honor now and here.

...

If we teach our kids with love, with consistency, through our own actions and behaviors that they can trust us, can know that we have control when they do not;

we have and will teach them right way relations and how to care for others; boys and girls growing into young women and men; believing they are worthy and kind.

Giving to others freely and creating abundance in their own lives.

...

Yes they will be judged by others along the way; judged as those who are good, those who do the right thing always not only when in the company of friends parents, but those who are in the company of their own relations, and community and they forget others are looking!

As adults they will grow and mature and lean not to sleeping aides or booze to cope; they will want and do more in their lives, minister to those who will benefit from the extension of a hand; the fullness of a smile, the caring of truth and honesty.

...

Who are we kidding by not teaching or commenting on things like

"only God can judge me"

when we see it?

But commenting not with anger, but with reality and kindness and education.

We see tattoos all over the place; beautiful young skin now with permanent ink; large symbols of Jesus on biceps, psalms inked on rib cages, crosses in hands inked

amazing things on the backs, legs, ribs and shoulders of young men and women as billboards to their Christian beliefs and lives.

Yet they are seen as promiscuity is at an all time high; as disrespect to parents and grandparents boggles the minds, as alcoholism and prescription drug overdoses fill emergency rooms and lying takes the place of conversations of trust.

I have to shake my head in wonder,

then when I read and hear

"only God can JUDGE me".

Just something to gnaw on

on this Tuesday for ya!

As Jeepers licks his lips and 

the 4 leggeds enjoyed the left over kernels on some fresh corn on the cob last night!

Oh boy did they all have the best treat ever!

May your day be beautiful

your worries be few

as

you remember

that with each step you take

each breath you breathe

you are making choices, many many choices;

so I sure hope you make some good ones

and realize they will and do impact others one way or the other.

So don't lay it on the Big G out there,

it's you doing whatever you are doing,

and yes, someone somewhere is watching.

Walk in Beauty

DRSES

www.sherryeshowalter.com

keepin it real

All about choices

Tracks, rails, trains, planes, buses, cars...

where the rubber meets the road, or the butts hit the couches

it's all about choices.

When you get right down to it;

finding the way through the many and mired neurotransmitters of the brain, the connection of the heart that often leads the brain, or the brain that takes over the heart

and the many messages between

one must at some point along the way come to the reality

that we "own the choices" we make that govern of our lives.

Like it or not;

we either step up, step out, or make the choice to not step at all.

But during the brightest of days

or darkest of nights

WE, each and every one of us

makes a choice, and to not make a choice is in fact choosing.

 A person can view a cave, and trust that there may be a big ole bear in there; disbelieve and wonder in to find out!

OR

they can go in that cave and dwell there in the dark, choosing that as a frame of mind

OR

they can choose to emerge into the light of their life,

through struggle and effort and even kicking and screaming if they want; knowing that they are a survivor and thriver.

Many will look to others for a hand; and that is alright as well; while others will learn on their own that at times it feels like history has been a great teacher; and that perhaps at times they have been stuck at the "which way do I turn" moments, and have taken a "gut feeling" or a chance, and fought like mad to pull themselves UP and over

the tallest of struggles vowing to let their path be their truth for future decisions.

Life can be like that at times.

We learn from mistakes, from misfortune, from tragedy, from loss.

We can either go into the cave, stand on the tracks and await the train to just have its way with us,

or we can take action and responsibility for our lives and our times while embracing our experience as teacher.

Remember the old and wise saying;

"when the student is ready, the teacher appears".

It just may be that some are taking a remedial life course, and enjoy holding themselves back in grade school of life; as they continue to make those same bad decisions and choices for their life.

We hear about those who abdicate responsibility all the time; wanting to be treated and respected for good choice-makers and those we can believe and trust with decisions.

Yet we have to wonder as we watch them in their attempts to drive their lives and see that their means to do so, is similar to having a bike 

hanging on a wall rather than being used as transportation to get from here to there in thought, motion, or an exercise in kindness and extension of self; yet we are asked why we do not "trust".

Would you trust riding this as it is?

Doesn't look to me as though the wheels are on the ground;

and when thinking of thoughts and choices I would like to think them firm and reliable; wouldn't you?

...

Yes it's about choices, about respect, about trust.

Life is a time of great moments, and moments that take the breath away.

It is also a time of giving to another in service and care because

you can and want to.

Walk in Beauty

DRSES

www.sherryeshowalter.com