Some Nights Are Just Like That

Looking for the

Yellow Brick Road

but at the wrong time

Yep some nights are like that,

you just watch the clock go round

with your mind

racing

and

thoughts of who know what

going who knows where

and

feels almost like

looking for

the yellow brick road!

It's one of those nights

here the first night of

Summer...

I can actually say

I have had much better nights

as I sit out here on the lanai

listening to the frogs make music

and

wishing I were sound asleep

rather than hearing the frogs

and

seeing the insides of my eyelids

at this

rather late hour of darkness.

But

I suppose

it's better than waking up the whole house

who seem to be sleeping

with the exception

of

DLB

who is sitting right alongside me

gazing out into the dark of night

both of us

having tried the

ole'

"let's talk about it"

as if

maybe something is on our minds

collectively.

When that turned out to be

comical

we opted for a swim in the dark of night

cautious not to wake the four leggeds who in turn would wake

Sandy and Stuart

then probably waking the entire neighborhood

cos' after all if we can't sleep

why should anyone else!

OK

that didn't work either.

So DLB

decided enough on her part and back to bed with her.

So, here I sit

me and the frogs

and

the darkness of night.

It's times like this that one wonders

what do people do with themselves that like to stay up all hours of the night and into the dawn do at such hours?

I myself prefer sleeping in hours such as these.

But,

since that seems to not be in the plan for now,

I'll just share a thought or two

about the first day of summer.

Hard to imagine that already we have hit that magical day, the longest day of the year.

Fitting that it would also carry into the night for me, as I am prep mode for my trip to Miami

on Wednesday, speaking there at a conference for the

Association of Death Education and Counseling

this week!

There I will also be honored to do a book signing and a wonderful opportunity to do an interview to later be shown on You Tube

which I am thrilled about

on

Compassion Fatigue.

It will run about 3 minutes all told although it takes about half hour to record, along with other invited speakers at the conference.

Then back home on Saturday

to prepare for a trip to

Kansas City for a keynote for

Crossroads Hospice being held at

Harrahs Casino in Kansas City!

What a lovely experience that will be to gather with a fantastic group of hospice workers there.

Hospices across the country are facing great changes with legislation, with the economy and with bills being passed on Capital Hill.

Organizations are being called upon to do more with less,

and change is affecting hospice and those who have dedicated their lives to enhancing the care of those in need of them.

BUT

the hope is that the "vision and mission"

will remain the same.

The vision set forth by the pioneers of hospice

back in the days of the begining.

That of making those patients and the ones who love them live until the moment they die

with grace, dignity and all that they hope for and need to make their lives as wonderful as possible in the time that they have.

That has always been the vision

and some wonderful people have worked hard through the years to advocate for those they provide care for to be sure that happens.

Change is difficult at best as we become more challenged with laws, with rules and with rigid boxes that folks work within.

BUT, the latest hospice story that I heard actually hurt my heart.

It seems in a large hospice someone forgot the true "vision" and true "mission" of caring and somehow got too carried away with structure and policy/procedure to see the bigger picture.

Or at least from the story I got it seemed that way.

Thank the Creator this is not a story I hear often,

but a story that perhaps is one reason I am not sleeping tonight.

It seems that a lovey patient who was close to dying had decided she did not want to die with those acrylic fake nails on... so she had asked her hospice nurse if she could find someone to come and give her a nail manicure and remove the "fake nails" before she died.

The nurse knew just the person, and made a call to a fellow employee at hospice and ask if she would come to the patients home after work

(on a Friday night no less)

and remove these nails, give her a hand massage, and manicure. She explained the patient's desire, and that she was nearing death.

The woman said she would be honored, but since her boss was off and the nurses' boss was off (it was Friday afternoon after all), she thought it best to run this past the Director to be sure it was "ok". So she did that, but knew it would be "hospice at its finest".

The director was hesitant and asked these questions:

1. What do you plan to do there?

"I plan to take the fake nails off, give her a hand massage, comfort and put a clear polish off. I have been a nail tech many years!

2. Are you a home health aide?

Well no not officially anymore, as you know I was promoted years ago

3. Are you a volunteer?

Well, not officially I actually get paid, and next month will be my 18th anniversary here as a full time employee!

To this the director said she had an uneasy feeling about this, but if the nurse (who also had already worked 40 hours) goes with you I guess it will be ok.

Now keep in mind, the patient now was under continuous care so had nursing around the clock at this point, so there would already be a nurse in the home!

So the call was made to update the nurse who said, "ok, we'll do whatever we need to for our patient"

BUT

Before that could happen the director called again and said, "I just have an uneasy feeling and I do not think this can happen."

Bottom line:

A dying patient of hospice who wanted fake nails taken off,

a dedicated hospice employee who was willing to do it and who has been an employee for 18 years and has experience in doing it, along with experience with patients, who is excellent with patients and families, who was willing to do this taking her own time...

and a nurse who had known who to call to make her patients dream and desire happen at the end of her life.

Was denied.

Someone in the position of power

has

forgotten

the

true mission and vision

and

creed

of

what

HOSPICE IS

and our hearts ached.

In unison we said

"are you kidding us"?

We are talking about taking best care of those we are honored to care for at the end of their lives here.

Loving and caring Hospice people ready to answer the call, to go and to do

on their own time

in order

to allow a woman to be ready to

transition, to cross over

in her way and in her time.

Someone decided it was

not "comfortable for her", "out of her job description", "she was uneasy"?

And in the middle of the night

I sit and remember

when the pioneers of hospice

and

the many stories throughout the years

that I have heard, participated in

that made dying patients

smile; their families

look back through the years

and smile

remembering the experiences

the moments

that took that little moment in time

that identified a death

and added to the rich and large life

and

I cannot help but wonder...

"what happened" in this situation.

But most imortantly

I thank those two hospice women

for not even thinking twice

on a Friday night

when they were ready to go

to make

a last wish

for a patient happen.

Cos' that is true HOSPICE

Hospice is about life

about

living until the moment you die

and

savoring each moment

with those that listen

and

respond to the moment

with grace, laughter

and

stepping up and stepping out

to

care.

If you or a loved one need hospice

give them a call,

let them know of your need.

AND

if when in hospice

if you desire, want, or dream

let them know of them

insist on them

and

don't stop

someone will listen

and

dreams will and can come true

cos'

more times than not

Every day's a Gift.

With that said,

I'm goin back to bed

right after one more swim

in the still of the night

right here at 3am!

Blessings to all who gather here

and to all

who

dance in the wind

even if only in your minds.

LIve with all you have

Dance with all you want

and

Be all that YOU are

Walk In Beauty

DRSES

author of

Healing Heartaches,

http://www.drsherryeshowalter.com/