HP/Hewlett Packard Update on customer care

Well hell0 world, and best greetings from HP hell! Oh yes, a lovely day that it is, after having voicemails from HP yesterday and what seemed like a rash of 888 calls from them just needing to contact me! Could it be that they cared and were worried about me since sending the ole' rotten lemon of a laptop to them last week? As I listened to the message, it seems that someone named Todd was from the "case manager" team and oh my he was responding to a "survey" they had received from me and wanted me to call them (soon). Darn, that case manager I was told that would call within 24 hours last week still hasn't called; I am so happy that my survey prompted such action from Todd... guess they didn't much care for my honesty and wanted to be right on that before Meg Whitman and her trusty staff got wind of an unhappy camper maybe? Oh that's right folks like Meg don't see those things, they are too busy dealing with their own salary cuts and running things at the top aren't they... she sure does not look happy in photos I see of her. I would like to think in this photo she is unhappy while speaking to those staff who are consistently on the phone with dissatisfied customers, or being treated rudely by her staff, or those staff on phone calls who ask customers to start at the beginning when a file as thick as a brick have to start from the top with telling them the "issues and their perception" while listening to a "case manager" with a tense clip in their voice speaks from a script... But ohhh no, seems Meg was not looking to happy here as she had a salary cut at ole' HP and was only getting $15 million after a bad year with HP.
ONLY $15 million. Damn that would give me something to smile about as I went and bought a "Mac" I'm thinking and tried to satisfy a customer on top of it all. Poor Meg Whitman. 

 Oh yes, now where was I on the HP news and update... Yes yes, now I remember the voicemail and my return call to Todd. So, I call this number back, give a "case number", sounds rather intriguing doesn't it? I get a woman on the phone, who speaks English I might just add. Funny how the "case managers" all appear to be English speaking. I ask for Todd and the questions begin. Why do you want to speak to Todd, did Todd email you, What is the problem, Will you hold please, I'm sorry Todd is busy, I can take over this case now I am a case manager... I would suggest if you ever see the below, to not trust it to be so.

Ok, so here we go… Another sterling example of a company that is quick to sell you a warranty when you call for service, and well they should since as evidenced by my experience their product sucks and will need service on a very regular basis. I hope you have time on your hands, and do not mind losing business along the way as you will find that you develop or strengthen you ability to cuss, to have patience and a wicked sense of humor...

Let me start at the beginning. Can we all say NEVER BUY A HP PRODUCT?  I have had to send my lap top back to the repair department at least three times in two years. In addition, I have spent countless hours on the phone with India booting, rebooting, and doing multiple systems checks, press this key, press and continue to press that F key and this key, remove the battery, unplug the cord, turn it over and hold the start key for 25 seconds. Now insert the battery, plug in the cord, open the screen and push the button, notice anything?

I have had the LED screen replaced, have had a technician sent to my home; I have listened to his tale of woe, learned about his children, his unfaithful wife, his plight in life, and he finally left feeling much better while the laptop was scanning and he felt sure that it would be better and if not, suggested I back everything up and do a complete system restore that would wipe everything out of the hard drive or create a need of a new hard drive. Did I mention he felt much better after a session of "free therapy", and I was exhausted?

I have had most recently received a new hard drive after having to secure the bad one with my credit card after hours on the phone with a man I could barely understand who told me yes the warranty included a home technician and no one could not be sent; so I  begged for over night delivery of said hard drive and me myself, installed a hard drive they sent to me. I installed the discs, only to have it then stick at the last moment and repeat a loop again and again, prompting more times on the phone, and repeatedly increase my need to throw the whole damn thing in the pool until realizing that they had indeed received my money to extend the warranty, and yet I could not remember for the life of me if that would be covered. In the last call I got to speak to a lovely woman who spoke English, oh how I love our language, and yes I did all those above steps yet again, and enhanced my computer skills as she led me to take out and replace the memory chips, unplug, re plug, push F keys, and we had just a wonderful conversation and I didn't even mind being put on hold as I made her promise to still speak English when she returned!

At the end of it all she determined secondary to my skillful doings that the MUTHAboARD IS BAD and now have once again mailed the computer to the service center for a new motherboard. 

In the meantime, I was promised a phone call from a case manager to assist in resolving my issues with the lap top. Of course I did not receive such a call. However, I filled out a scorching survey online, and low and behold, within 24 hours I did receive a call from the survey folks. In fact, was given a specific person to contact who was to be my case manager.  When I called, my contact person was not available, and I was forced to talk with a woman who had absolutely no ability to offer any assistance at all.

In fact, although I had provided the case number, she insisted that I verbally outline the history of this raggedy computer, only to tell me that there was nothing she could do to help.

She was however sticking to a script that said “ We can confirm that the computer is at the service center, and until it comes back from the service center we cannot do anything.”  After having listened to my many issues regarding the laptop, she had the audacity to repeat her script as though I were a moron.  Talk about customer service. No talk about NO CUSTOMER SERVICE!  Not one, sorry you have had such a terrible experience with our product. No acknowledgement of the countless hours I have spent on the phone, and shipping their product back to them for repairs.

Wait, it gets better. After Ms. Snitty finished irritating me, I received an email stating that the computer was at the service center and nothing could be done until the repair was complete. Did I need her to tell me this? Hell no, I had already received that email from them when it arrived thank you Ms. Snitty very much. Mind you this was Monday the 11^th of February. In the message,  she says, that she will close the case unless she hears back from me by February 13^th Really???? Exactly why should I have a deadline to call her back? She has no new news, because I have already been told “the computer is in the service center and no one at HP, can do a damn thing until it comes back. Back to me that is. Like I need to jump on the phone to hear that script again? And by the 13^th no less.

Bad customer service is inexcusable, but if this is HP’s typical customer service, I can only conclude the following:

1).  NEVER EVER PURCHASE ANY HP PRODUCTS.

2).  Perhaps the reason they cannot offer a better response is that they have such a high rate of  dissatisfied customers that they cannot possibly make their customers happy without replacing every product they have ever sold.

3). They have never heard of good customer service, and therefore they are unable to even begin to provide it.

As I looked for a few pictures for today's update, I found myself laughing as the search took me to actual "support forums" for those dissatisfied with HP! Can you imagine? And to think when I first called ole' Todd back, I was put on hold? That leads me to believe there are sure a lot of unhappy campers out there, if they even have to have case managers, and then have to have them on hold as they are "experiencing a large volume of calls".

 

So there you have it. Save your money, and save yourself a world of aggravation. Don’t buy ANYTHING with the HP name on it.

And if you have already, or still plan to, remember this; YOU can ask to speak to an English speaking person for those hours you will be on the phone.

Now with that said, as I told Ms. Snitty Bree, 

customer service is made by what folks tell other folks; good or bad. Word of mouth is everything in business.

Money spent on advertising will never ever beat word of mouth.

Speaking of advertising and commericals and such as that, and saving money that can be passed down to consumers;

things that are no brainers in fact...

Commercials we do not need are things like toilet paper, dish soap, detergent

WE ARE GOING TO BUY THEM ANYWAY FOLKS... save your advertising dollars and discount your products. Just saying here

Have a spectacular TUESDAY...

*sure hope HP doesn't invade this little mini while it is still working here"

Laugh, laugh a lot and enjoy just everything.

Walk in beauty

DRSES