HOW TO WEATHER ADVERSITY/CHALLENGE

Good Mornin!

Day after the Gala in DC

at the Little SchoolHouse

In Patient Hospice

In Arlington VA

"And I Feel Good All Over"

Can Ya Tell?

I am plannin' to outshine the sun today... Yep, got a plan... Thanks for all the love I received in comments,  tweets and emails of yesterday's blog! HOSPICE rocks and it has been my greatest honor to work and walk alongside many wonderful people in my career...
Healing Heartaches holds many stories from the in-patient building in today's picture and I was still floating from the gala the night before... Guess that hospice is in my DNA ~ Like my new hat? Took it right off the pretty head of my niece Happy who lives in DC the day I spent with she and Audrey ~ She is responsible... she said, "Auntie, you look fly in that hat"! Well that is all it took... Mine now! Thanks Hap!!!
Coffee hot and here I am just waitin on that sun... Blessed and nothing less as my friend Fred Cuellar says!

My heart and prayers continue to be with those in TN and surrounding areas... Such a tragedy... too much it seems once again that we are facing for folks who were just going about their day, just living their lives. I was just with some of those wonderful people who work in that area in Hospice at the Conference in DC; catching up with old friends, meeting some new ones. Talking about traveling there in the near future to hopefully speak and do a book signing... and then WHAM... heartache and devastation for so many and so many glued once again to the television watching and feeling helpless.
It is important to try and remember during times like this
 WE ARE NEVER HELPLESS...
                                   WE ARE THE FORCE ~
WE CAN LEND SUPPORT ~
WE CAN STOMP FOR THOSE WHO NEED US!
WE CAN SEND THEM THOUGHTS,
WE CAN SEND HOPE IN PRAYERS, WE CAN DIG DEEP; EMPTY OUR PIGGY BANKS... if we must!
We can donate time...
YOU may need to have a media "black out" for your sanity... you may need to "turn off" the devastation for awhile... You may need to instead find ways of restoring yourself and finding ways to help ~ To move the emotion through energy ~
Let me say it again... ready?
We ARE THE FORCE!
                                STAND UP
                  S T O M P
                                         SAY YES!
TN, we are with you in our hearts... YOU will survive this.
Our nation is with you in prayers, in thoughts, in HOPE for healing, in mourning for your losses... the American Red Cross will accept your donations of help, HOSPICE is helping, others are helping... Volunteerism is at its finest... People care deeply.

WE ARE THE FORCE OF THE BEST OF HUMANKIND...
uh oh...

Now with my coffee and my thoughts now moving on to things of adversity, challenge, HOPE, healing, thriving... those thoughts just run when that get started...
Hospice, life, challenge, adversity advocacy, and just as the four-leggeds do their NASCAR imitation round the pool, here I go again! Probably should have poured more than one cup this morning just in case...



Adversity or Challenge?  STOMP or limp?







When I hear someone assume they have no power over their own life, when someone says that life is too hard.
I think, hard?
                         As compared to what?






So life is not always easy.
If it were, would we be able to identify the good times? What would we use to benchmark our good days against? Are we not always comparing and contrasting? A great meal is noticeable only because we have had a few that were somehow less than good. If they were all perfect, we would only consider them food, not great food. So we know how good a day is, or an experience is because we have something to compare it to.
This works the same for employment, relationships, weather, flowers, air quality, in fact, in every facet of our lives.






We need life’s challenges because they let us grow. They encourage us to stretch mentally, physically and emotionally. We are not paralyzed by challenges, but rather we discover who we are by the way we face them, and overcome whatever adversity they may hold.

The very measure of who we might become is determined by the way we demonstrate our mettle during tough times.
The way I see it is, challenges faced and conquered let us know greatness.
Adversities overcome, allow us to know and recognize our own strengths.






At the timberline where the storms strike with the most fury, the sturdiest trees are found. (Hudson Newsletter)






The trees there, may be wind bent, shy on leaves, but they are rooted deep. They are strong and sturdy. I am reminded of the wonderful willow... beautiful it is! And... it is strong enough to bend... are you?

A person who has never known real adversity can not know himself fully.
That rare bird cannot advise a friend for he has no firsthand knowledge of how to stand strong in his most vulnerable moments. He cannot bring to the table his wealth of experience staring down the jaws of trouble.

 On the other hand, we face big problems and come up with GREAT solutions. A chance to test ourselves against all life throws at us.

We not only survive, we thrive. Because we are those trees at the timberline. We have been blown and tossed by life’s storms. We sink our roots deep in the good earth and stand tall.

"I know God won't give me anything I can't handle; I just wish He didn't trust me so much" {Mother Teresa}






"The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty." {Winston Churchill}






Facing the challenges gives us a life that is interesting, but overcoming life’s adversities is what makes us stronger, our lives more meaningful.






In closing, we do not ask for the lightest load, but rather the strongest back to carry the load. We find in ourselves, the ability to face any adversity, to rise to each challenge before us, with our own inner strength. The knowledge that we are strong, that we are already enough. That we possess a CAN DO attitude. WE ARE THE FORCE!

We will survive ~ we will find creative and innovative ways to thrive... We will once again build, re-build and hear sounds that we identify as "laughter" and it will be ours and those that matter... We will heal and re-join the rhythm of life's heartbeat... Healing Heartaches ...

So, STAND UP... S T O M P
TIME FOR WARPAINT, TIME FOR BATTLE...

The fire is burning, its embers are hot... the smell of cedar, sweetgrass and sage fill the air... and so it is good. Thoughts to all this morning ~ ~ ~ :'
Chris in NY, almost time for you to return home to FL minus the "girls (aka breasts you used to have) you know... the ones with Cancer in em?  C'mon on home, get the treatment thing done and let's get this party called life going again... You are in the arms of many who are thinkin of you and holdin strong for you  and with you my friend~ Cancer Sucks.
Jill we are with you kiddo... Fight, CLIMB like Lily the Black Bear and cubbie HOPE... We are with you, fighting alongside you. When you are tired, rest.. we are here... With prayers, thoughts and warpaint on, ready to STOMP... Cancer SUCKS... FIGHT strong, we love and are fighting with you...
Cindy in NC, Cancer Sucks... We are with you dear one, Keep the Faith and know you are never alone... we are standing beside you always.
Thoughts on the gentle wind to 6 year old Shelby, friends/family, Mary, Booker, Charlie Soap and family, Lynn Redgraves family, the families in TN, Liz, Lee, Molly, Joanie, Jude, Matthew, Vicki's Mom, Irene, Faith, Phylis, Judi, Angie, "Southwest Virginia", Laura (MS Sucks),  Dorothy P., Tom, Joe   and.....................................
For those who "you know who you are"
We are here with you... and you are in the arms of the angels... may you find comfort and strength in the knowing that you are never alone... Thoughts to all on the winds...

So before I leave you ... here ya go:
from our dear Doc Seuss:
"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go..."  
— Dr. Seuss (Oh, the Places You'll Go

Walk In Beauty,
DRSES
author of
Healing Heartaches, Stories of Loss and Life
http://www.drsherryeshowalter.com/

HOSPICE IS ABOUT LIFE!

Dr Bernice Catherine Harper

My Hero!

The Hospice Gala

National Hospice Foundation

2010

Got the coffee goin this mornin! Poured two cups again... it's siting right here, if you don't show up, guess I'll just drink yours this morning! That didn't work out when I last wrote it, as one of you showed up and had coffee with me!

Morning comes softly as I reflect on the Gala in D.C., time with Dr Harper and with old and cherished friend Jean Bergaust, another well respected Hospice Pioneer from yesteryear that I had the opportunity to spend some lovely time with! Stay tuned for that picture maybe later this week! So many wonderful and treasured friends, stories of the "old days", new days and future dreams for hospice...

Jean well loved, respected and a "spit-fire" for years (still is I might just add) LOL ... her husband was lovely many and a brilliant author and journalist with more than 60 books under his belt having gone to the moon journalistically ~ Erik Bergaust was "Reaching For The Stars" before we went to the moon journalistically, while Jean was embarking on similar journey's within the world of hospice and politics! She is a force to be reckoned with indeed, and I so love her energy.

"Personality can open doors, but only character can keep them open" {Elmer G Letterman}

Dear Dr Bernice Catherine Harper still parts the crowds from the time she entered the Omni Shoreham, with folks holding the doors as she entered! A smile on her face, with amazing grace in each and every step; seems folks just wanted to reach out and touch, kiss her cheek and say hello; thank her for her life's work in hospice, social work, on the hill and for all people of all colors, all walks of life. She is the "professionals professional" taking time for all, no matter how much time it takes! {and heaven help Jean and I if we had to go to the bathroom... that could take 47 minutes just to get there!} LOL

Hospice is about LIFE, about living, about dedication to all people and enhancing the lives of those facing end of life care, decisions and making daggone sure that whatever time is left is the best it can be!  Really really believing in your deepest heart-body-mind that care of the body is nothing without care of the soul...

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Hospice and Palliative Care offer individuals with serious, life-limiting illness and/or disease, expert care and pain symptom management. That combined with holistic care and support to that individual and all those that love them; family, friends and community!  Hospice is diverse in its structure, but unified in its mission and values. (at least for the most part!) 

I will not even try to tell you that it is always wine and roses... I too know of times when there are thorns among the roses... and we'll just leave it at that.

Dr Harper, Samira Beckwith and Jean Bergaust {all still gorgeous I might add}, and I got to spend some time at the Gala, and remembered when we started the first task force on minority access and diversity in hospice care back in .... well let's just say back before "diversity was cool" (a long long time ago)! Not to date any of us, but it was a few moons ago!

ah, where was I ... oh right, Hospice in all its glory, that's right...

National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization... back in the day it only was known as National Hospice Organization (NHO) so much easier to remember back then! LOL

What an organization it is! It closely monitors trends among programs, has a wonderful marketplace of resources, books, items for sale, a great website for finding a local hospice in areas across the country and is the "pulse" for hospice happenings! Here ya go! http://www.nhpco.org/

An estimated 1.45 million patients rceive care every year: 38.5 percent of all deaths in the U.S. were under the care of a hospice program... so I am wondering ... why is that number so low? How can we educate our communities and let them know Hospice is here for them, for their families, their communities? I guess it just goes to show ya, just like it says in Healing Heartaches, "people don't know what they don't know"! So, we must continue to educate folks, doctors, faith communities, entertainers and others:

HOSPICE IS ABOUT LIFE! Not a place... that is not hospice.... although in patient units are wonderful!

Hospice is a "concept of care"... It is about helping a patient, adding value and quality of care to patients and families and community... Helping someone at the end of life to live as best as possible during the end of life... To live well, to love much, and to have it all for as long as we are blessed to live, with added supports available ~ S T O M P... "are ya feelin me?"

Did you know there are over 4,850 hospices nationwide?  WOW... Most care hospice provides is provided in people's homes, that is where folks want to be; in their home, in their safe place! Lookin' out their window, goin' out to see their garden, their gulf, their mountains, their cities!

                    And here is another little known fact:

People come to hospice care with many diagnoses:

Cancer; Debility, Heart Disease, Dementia, Lung Disease, Kidney Disease, Children, Teens, Adults, Elders ~ Many many diagnoses....

So I had to just let you know...

                                      HOSPICE ROCKS!

We are EVERYWHERE~!

In homes, hospitals, nursing homes, on reservations, in your neighborhoods! Never know when you might be sittin next to a hospice worker/volunteer!

                                        WE ARE YOU!!!

Advocates on Capital Hill, we are up to our elbows at times, we are at memorial services, we are having a bake sale at times, we are just around the corner balancing things like you at other times... we hurt and bleed and grieve like everyone else, but hopefully you don't have to be privvy to that!

The National Hospice Foundation donors fuel NHPCO programs, they were the original hearts of vision, mission and hearts of hospice! They were honored at the Gala for their unwavering love and support ~  They laid a foundation of awareness of hospice through faith and mercy...  they envision a world where everyone facing serious illness, death and grief will experience the best that humankind can offer. And to make that vision a reality the National Hospice Foundation supports the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization's quality and research initiatives, hospice/palliative care provider education activities; consumer engagements and caregiver services and the Foundation For Hospices in Sub-Saharan Africa (FHSSA) Impact Fund, and they support those who are committed to hospice!  Here ya go, check it out!http://www.nationalhospicefoundation.org/

Our dearest Dr Bernice Catherine Harper is of course a founding Mother of many of these wonderful things I might also let you know. A social worker by profession... a heart of hospice by DNA I am sure.

So there you are, more than you can imagine on hospice to go out and be an advocate for HOSPICE...

hug a hospice person today, share a hospice story if you will!  Visit them at their website, I also have links on my website as well!

The founder of the mother ship of Hospice; St Christopher's' in England,  Dame Cicely Saunders stated: "You matter to the last moment of your life, and we will do all we can, not only to help you die peacefully, but to live until you die.”

That my friends... is HOSPICE, thank you Dame Saunders for our beginnings... may we continue on with your vision into our future.

So... what's new with all of you today? Any rides on the backs of dolphins? Any new and exciting things on for the day?

As for me, busy here with hospice correspondence today and then more of that! A call to Jean Bergsaust and Dr Bernice Catherine Harper would be a lovely way to kick off the day ... but much to do...

might just have to bathe a dog during my break!

The fire is burning, the embers are hot... The sage and sweetgrass are filling the air with delightful smells ... sending HOPE in healing and thoughts on the gentle breeze on this sunny morning to those who know who they are...

To Chris in NY, time to return to home, to Jill stand up my dear, warpaint on, CLIMB, STOMP and know we are with you, ready to fight, Cindy in NC prayers are with you, safe and warm ... Liz, Lee, Molly, Joanie, Jude, Matthew, Joe, Faith, 6 year old Shelby family/friends, Phyllis in FL, Lynn Redgraves' family, Charlie Soap and family thoughts of healing ways, Laura, Jannessa, "Southwest Virginia", Gayle E., Rene, Mary, Betty, Linda, Angela,

and all the others who know... you know this.

You are in the thoughts of many, and the arms of the angels... may you find comfort here, strength that you need! S T O M P

C'mon outshine the sun, make it YOUR day... smile til your face aches, extend kindness to those you meet ~

And lastly... what is a day without our beloved Dr Seuss to make you spit your coffee???

"In my world, everyone's a pony and they all eat rainbows and poop butterflies!"

Walk In Beauty!

DRSES

author of

Healing Heartaches, Stories of Loss and Life

http://www.drsherryeshowalter.com/

DAPPLED SUN ON NEW GRASS

Dappled Sun

Memories

Moments Remembered

Times Yet To Come

Dappled Sun on New Green Grass ~ ~ ~ promises of another hot day here... but the coffee is hot, the taste ever so good!
Good morning world, you sure do look good today... Prayers to those in TN and surrounding areas ~ those who are working to restore balance and HOPE to so many... I am thinking of you as is the rest of our Nation.

I am sitting and watching the morning antics of the four leggeds; this morning Gypsy and Jeepers are involved in a race around the pool with Gypsy (the little black one) in the lead with a toy in her mouth but still able to bark her resounding celebration!




What speaks of a sweeter morning than the sun gently kissing newly sprouted grass, and dancing on the hanging Spanish Moss this morning I ask me and those reading here?






The song of the red birds, along with their feathered friends calling back and forth. A slight breeze, the blush of Jasmine scenting the air. The Jacaranda in early bloom. Every plant, every bush squeaking out new tiny leaves. The promise of tomorrow. The beauty of today. Last years pots of Geraniums already in color. Not yet tended, or fertilized, against all odds, blooming in spite of a season of neglect. This amazing explosion of rebirth.

When all around, so many of us are acknowledging the anniversaries of the death of our loved ones, the earth brings forth it’s gifts. A reminder that as we feel sadness and loss, life beckons us. Nature surrounds us with it’s colors. These gifts anchor us in this day. The circle of life goes on even when we do not fully feel a part of it. Take all the time you need. The glorious colors will still be here when you feel ready to return to the place where you can embrace them.


In Southwest Virginia a dear little lady named Mrs Ocie, 99 years old died peacefully in her sleep yesterday; she was being cared for by my two aunts for quite awhile... they said she was quite a lady; quite spunky to be certain; reminding them of Granny at times!  While her death has been expected to occur in a few months, all were taken aback; seems someone who lives to be 99 is just expected to go on another year or two, particularly when they are as spunky as this woman was!  She will be missed by her caregivers; my aunts, her son a physician, her grandson... the community at large.  She died the way she lived... on her terms and in her time; her passion and "spunk" will be missed for a long time I am sure.

Many have told me that they have survived another anniversary of the death of a parent; a grandparent, a child, a loved one in the last couple of days and weeks. 
 Anniversaries can be hard. They take us back to the time of new, fresh grief. They call to us to address our loss, sometimes taking us by surprise in the calling.

While we make change along the journey day by day, the anniversary of our loved ones’ death, or birthday, or other special time we once celebrated with then, tugs at our hearts. Once again we are confronted with the fact that they are no longer physically present with us in this moment. These feelings also come up when we are confronted with unexpected things too; things like calls to the courtroom; needing to re-hash personal papers or after death dealings with systems, lawyers, or others... They can produce tremendous stress and anticipatory anxiety that may cause a sudden temporary upsurgence of grief reactions.
In this important moment. During these uncomfortable and often stressful times.. please remember to B R E A T H E... remember that you are a SURVIVOR, that you can and will control your reactions to whatever is going on if you just remember that you must relax, and breathe, and remember your truths.



So we must pause and honor their memory in some special, sacred way. You know best what that honoring looks like. What your heart needs to feel, to say, to do in the honoring. Perhaps you will cry unshed tears, or adorn a grave with flowers, or sit by the ocean and find comfort in dolphins. Each expression that honors and comforts is good.
It is necessary. I sometimes like to bring out the photo albums and retell the stories of life shared. Perhaps you have something special, a necklace, a ring, a stone, coin... something that you can have with you that will help you to hold, to touch during these times that empower you to restore the balance that you feel is temporary out of kilter if you will.

If the grief is too new, you may not feel ready to share your memories with others, so something that is personal for you may work best. This too is OK. There are no right or wrong ways to address our needs. Do whatever feels right for you. Whatever you heart calls you to do. You have been on the healing journey, you know yourself best.



I honor your need to remember.
To celebrate the life of that special someone you have loved. Be not neglectful of those you love that are still here.

As Mother’s Day approaches next week, many of us must face this day with a heavy heart. For many here have lost their Mothers. For those who have surviving relations, take the time to remember that while you lost your Mother, they too lost her. Their spouse. This may be a difficult day for them too. Perhaps including them in remembering her will be the gift of your love that you choose to offer.




And so I close, offering again the desire of my heart that you be whole. That you take best care of yourself and those you love. As you can, spend a bit of time taking in the beauty of the earth and the many gift’s that are here to soften these difficult moments we all face. Step on the grass barefoot. Feel the texture of the earth beneath your feet. Breath deep and smell the fragrance of all that blooms. Marvel at a flower in bloom, notice beauty that is around you.
Soak up the warmth of the sun.
    Feel the air as it caresses your skin.
  Be well, know I am holding you in my heart ~

And yes ~ the fire is always burning, the embers are hot already this morning.
Sending HOPE on the gentle breeze and thoughts of strength to all who know who they are today ~ Blessings to you and those you love.

Wherever you are and whatever you are doing...
Stop for a moment, send thoughts of HOPE in healing to those in TN and surrounding areas, prayers for our troops fighting for our freedoms...

Warpaint on for Chris, Jill, Cindy, Laura, and all who are fighting the battles, we are with you, you are never alone, the tribe and arms of angels are around you always... When weary, we will fight for you, when restored, we are at the ready, fighting with you.

Walk In Beauty,
DRSES
author of
Healing Heartaches, Stories of Loss and Life
http://www.drsherryeshowalter.com/

MONDAY TIME TO DANCE ON DESKS! YESTERDAY WAS BRILLIANT!

STOMP

ON WATER!

Would That We Could STOMP On Water . ~ ` ~

Coffee in hand, wishing you a blessed and beautiful Monday morning! But today's thoughts are sure to make you smile, as I got my coffee, got my smile on,

MY STOMP going, the music just started...

I am reliving yesterday and my face is already hurtin from the smile that is filling up the sky...

WOW, I am too blessed for less as my twitter pal says!

I’ll tell ya, that if it were possible to stomp on top of the water, Sunday would have been the day to do it.

The sun was so bright hot, I think my eyeballs even got a tan. I wish everyone of you could have been on the Gulf of Mexico with me. It was hot, choppy, but not to rough. No evidence of the devastating oil spill; no smell of oil ~

Bright, clear skies, the salty splash spraying over the bow of the boat; often feeling wonderful as it splashed over me.

White caps tumbling over each other, and white, white sand on every shore. Bonnie Raitt rocking the boat, rocking the air with her sultry and bluesy voice.

The dolphins were everywhere! Families of dolphins, lots of dolphins, several family pods, swimming in perfect harmony, leaping and jumping and playing with wild abandon (just for me).
We even saw a Manatee in the calmer waters on the intercoastal. First one ever!!!


Get this, a stingray leapt out of the gulf! Shining silver, like a ballerina! This is only the second time I have ever seen one except in an aquarium tank.

Then, to make it even more spectacular, we saw pink birds. Really big, salmon pink birds. They sorta looked like sea gulls. The color of Flamingos, but no long legs. Plus, I don’t think Flamingos fly all over the coast.
They perched in the coastal Mangrove trees. Not one, but a whole neighborhood of them in one tree.
So, upon returning home,
I jumped on line and discovered that they are Roseate Spoonbills, a native Florida bird. Will wonders never cease? I trust they will not.



This was a glorious day. It was perfect, it was wonderful, it was awesome! ANOTHER DAY IN PARADISE!

No outshining that sun, but fear not, I tried.

I’m sure I single handedly added my bling to the sky.
 And now, for a moment of vanity. You should see my tan! So we sang, and danced, and absolutely loved every moment of this terrific day.

To cap it all off, chop and all, I threaded the needle in docking the boat in a little two inch spot that a knat would have had to suck it in, to fit into that itty bitty space. Even the Dock master high fived me…
 It’s good to be me. LOL

Not that I want to toot my own horn, but BEEP BEEP.

I am especially sensitive to that PERFECT example of boat-womanship because I have a time or two, well, three or four, bounced off the dock like a ping pong ball.

So tell me, what could have been a better Sunday? Well OK, maybe if we had packed a few more bottles of water, and maybe if we hadn't frozen three that then wouldn't open although I put all my muscle into it, and then tried beating it to death against the side of the boat, but ultimately had to resort to using my key to poke a hole in the plastic!!! But that's OK, I was feeling "fearless"! haha





So here I am, replaying every wonderful moment in my head.
Admiring my developing tan, working on a full cup of coffee and loving this day. Feeling a little full of myself. It’s a good thing.

Would that every day could be this way for everyone. Especially for each of you. If I could bottle good feelings, I would. I’d gift them to you.




So sad that I cannot bottle such a day.
You will just have to go there in your imagination. Welcome to my best Sunday ever.
Now let’s get busy making Monday perfect. Starting with coffee was a good idea. What are you up to?

The fire is burning and the embers are hot. Stomp! Thoughts on the wind to those in Tenn. holding all in prayers there and those who are serving our great nation. HOPE in healing and thoughts on the wind to Chris in NY for great results and quick return home to FL, to Jill and family, for Cindy in NC, for those in "Southwest Virginia", for Liz, Lee, Molly, Joanie, Laura, Faith, 6 year old Shelby, family and friends for strength and continued healing, for: Irene, Phyllis, Gayle, Rene, Monica and Luci for strength today and all days, for those who have asked you know who you are... we are with you, as are the Ancestors... you are not alone, you are in the arms of the angels, and those here ... may you find strength and comfort in knowing that we have our warpaint on and are with you always... along the journey.

Wherever you are, whatever you are doing... Do it with grace, with style, with honest intention. Practice acts of kindness, smile from your heart until your face hurts!
Laugh and listen to the sound it will lighten your day...
So today I leave you laughing with this great quote that I just love from our beloved Dr Seuss,
"I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!"  Happy Monday to all, HOPE you will join me in knowing... "I don't plan to have troubles!" STOMP ~ ~ ~


Walk In Beauty,
DRSES
author of Healing Heartaches, Stories of Loss and Life
http://www.drsherryeshowalter.com/

STOMP

Celebrate You

Honor The Old Ways

Incorporate The New

Stomp

It is going to be a great Sunday... I plan to spend it on the water, to soak up the sun, to watch for the dolphins, to pray them and all the water ones safety from the threat of the Gulf Oil Spill that is growing closer to us here....
I am still honored and just "giddy" by all the many thoughts and comments of yesterday! Guess the thoughts of Dr Dorothy Height and the Cherokee Stomp "fired you up" and got you to STOMPin'!~ Wado~ from my heart to yours ~

Fresh pot of coffee is on, I'll pour two cups this mornin; one for me and one for you... if you don't drink yours by the time I finish mine, I'll just assume you're still sleepin' and I'll just drink it for ya! Deal?

The hibiscus are in bloom, I guess that the warmth has finally embraced us again! It sure is a welcomed warmth! The sun was bright and hot yesterday, many were walking the beaches, looking for evidence of the oil spill all praying not to see any.

I heard from someone yesterday who talked at length about her grief, asking again for validation of the changes she was feeling since her loss. I empathized with her, her pain of loss as she told me her story. Sometimes compassionate listening and validation is the best friend you can offer. And then I did remind her...

Grief Changes US Forever/// But we survive. We must choose that path, just as the Cherokee on that trail of tears many many moons ago chose to ... we are survivors by nature. Were that not so, we would not be here, you would not be reading this, I would not be writing it. You see, our parents, our grandparents... they too suffered great and profound losses, great heartaches... they survived, and we are the living proof of that. We ARe HERE, right here right now... and their Ancestors... they had great struggle, great heartaches, they too survived...
And through great adversity, great times of loss, grief . . . through darkness, we will emerge into the light as survivors, perhaps stronger than ever before. But right now, it is hard to see that, to believe that. At best we can just hold it as a possibility. We Can STOMP ~
We can reach out, learning to ask for what is needed, to enlist others to put on their warpaint with and for us... to listen without judgment, to allow us to lean on them when our feet feel unsteady; to stand alongside us when we feel alone... We Can remember balance...
Tears balanced with laughter
Sad balanced with glad
Solitude balanced with social times
Quiet time balanced with Music
Stillness balanced with Energy
You feelin me???



Life changes us, we grow, we learn, we make choices everyday. We are evolving all the time.

This is as it should be. Grief changes us in unique ways.
We learn to appreciate life in experiencing the seasons, experiencing the little ones and the Elders.
Sometimes we appreciate a loved one only after their death; so sad. 
Other times we love someone from the first moment our eyes meet and love them intensely and joyfully until the moment they leave this earth... thrilled that we were blessed with them in this life, honored by the gift of them, knowing they are not gone from us ever, only their body in the physical sense. Yes we mourn them being here, but in that deepest spiritual connection they are still a part of us, death cannot separate that ~ We grieve not for them... we grieve us without them, and that is different.

We grow to know ourselves in a different way. We develop a renewed respect for time, for the fragility of life, and for the necessity to value each day.
To hold dear the memories of our loved one, and to celebrate each moment we have while we have it to share.



While we will never be the same person we were before we were confronted with our grief, our loss, it is possible to embrace the changes for the growth, the truths that they bring.

None of us want these particular changes to be thrust on us by loss and suffering it’s ravages, but at some point, everyone that has ever loved, will experience the winter of their own grief. It is a reflection of the depth of our connections, our love, the importance of the relationship we shared.

Given the opportunity we would probably choose for everyone we loved to live forever, or at least to outlive us.
We do not get to call all the shots.
The reality is that we have lost and may well lose someone else to death.

Each journey is unique.
The wisdom we glean form the death of one dear to us may in some ways prepare us to face the next grief journey a bit more enlightened, but it will not prevent us from experiencing grief in new or different ways.

Grief is not that predictable.



So, while we may have better coping skills, more understanding of ourselves and the grief process,

We will still be challenged to weather each encounter with grief without the ability to conquer it. And no one is exempt from the pain of loss; not health care providers, not hospice workers, chaplains, therapists, NOT NO BODY...


For grief is not to be conquered. It is to be survived.

I am a survivor, how about you?





Survivors we are.
We will not always be strong. We may not ever be able to make this journey alone, and we should not expect this of ourselves.
Death is a part of the cycle of life.

Grief shared lightens our burden, eases our pain. Each change it evokes in us lends depth to our character. Allows us to deepen our respect for life, for time, for the precious connections we have with others.
Our focus is to treat ourselves kindly.
Accept the difficulty of the journey.
Know that we will come out the other side of this experience stronger, wiser, and we will regain our balance.


We will be, or are changed forever by having loved, having lost, and having grieved deeply.
It is a journey lead by our hearts.
We are resilient, we are warriors.

We can in the end adapt to change because we must. Know that these adaptations, these changes will serve us well as we continue to learn and grow form each experience. Be kind and gentle with yourself as you journey. Do likewise for others as they do their grief work. Accept support, seek it out. Offer support when it is needed.
Be about giving the gift of your love to others, and embracing the love others offer.
Know yourself as well as you can.
Live your best life. Grieve well.

Use all the tools you have at your fingertips and in your heart space, but open your heart to receive all that is there for you to heal.



Live well, love deeply, know that you will heal from the heartaches grief brings.
You will regain your balance.
You will be different because you have made this difficult journey.
Your life will be changed, you will be changed.
But you will emerge whole ready to re-invest in life, to dance with the heart beat of natures rhythm... if you choose to.

The fire is burning brightly, the embers are just about right... they are looking hot! Prayers being sent on the winds this morning to those who have asked, to those that know "who you are"
For Chris in NY, Stand UP, STOMP, to Jill we are with you my friend, STOMP, climb with all your might, fight... we have our warpaint on and are with you, to Cindy, Denise, Jim, 6 year old Shelby, Faith, Phyllis, those in "Southwest Virginia", Liz, Lee, Molly, Joanie, Laura, Matthew, Judy, and so many others, we are standing strong with you! When you are tired, we will be there as you rest, at the ready, we will fight on, when you are rested we will fight with you... You have some powerful people here who are Stomping for you, sending HOPE in healing, thoughts on the wind, prayers and support... you are in the arms of the angels and those here, may you find strength and comfort here.

Wherever you are and whatever you are doing today, have an OUTSTANDING SUNDAY!

Walk In Beauty,
DRSES
author of
Healing Heartaches, Stories of Loss and Life
http://www.drsherryeshowalter.com/

~STOMP~ and Remember Dr. Dorothy Height ~ A Warrior ~

Cherokee STOMP Dance

Saturday morning, waiting for the sun... and it promises to be a beautiful day in all its wonder...

Many thoughts on this morning with my coffee in hand, or beside me rather as thoughts begin with memories of a great and grand woman:

Dr Dorothy Height: many gathered in the National Cathedral to celebrate her life, to celebrate her home. Her life was honored, with gratitude and hope for the great lady that she was in her life. She was a warrior, she knew how to STOMP with humility and amazing grace. Dr Height was a social worker by profession, a woman who fought great battles, who lived through times most cannot even fathom today. She was a frequent visitor of the White House and as our President said in his eulogy she would "drop in" ... not once, not twice, but had dropped in to visit Presidents a total of 21 times!

Dr Height was brilliant, she was truly an inspiration; a mentor to many, a teacher, a leader, but a friend to all, and loved by all. She was called

"a drum major" as the President reminded us... But make no mistake she knew how to dance to the beat of the drum while drumming!

She lived life righteously, and she fought for women, for equality, for justice, for health care, for hospice. And oh my, how she could wear a hat! She would never be caught without her hat; and she did know how to wear a hat well! The hats were on the heads of many at the Cathedral, in honor of Dr Dorothy Height... "Hats off to Dorothy" indeed! A landmark in D.C. and a class act that just walked into your heart and stayed. We will miss Dr Height, her work was never ending and I feel certain that she sits on the right hand of the Creator, was welcomed home to the beat of the drum as He took her hand and said, "Welcome home child, your work was well done". She has left a legacy here, we only need follow in the lessons of service first, freedom for all, and to stand for all as long as we are blessed to live in this wonderful country we call home.

God Bless Dr Dorothy Height and her ability to love, to Stand UP, and to STOMP. They celebrated her home in grand style and respect at the Cathedral, she would have been proud, she would have smiled that beautiful smile of hers that we all loved so and enjoyed so many years ~

"There is no end. There is no beginning. There is only the infinite passion of life" {Federico Fellini} Perhaps he had known Dr Dorothy Height!

Wado ~ a life well lived.

Are you ready for a super Saturday? I sure am, the weather is to be wonderful, although we here are so very concerned of our gulf and the winged ones and water-creatures with the oil spill here. I swear I smelled oil yesterday when I went to the beach...

I STOMPED for a bit . . .

One person asked for a visual for STOMP, they stated they couldn't really get one other than children having a tantrum. So here ya go...

I love the visual in the picture as that is the most intense visual I can offer up, the true meaning of Stomp if you will.

 But imagine for a moment when you were a child and saw that puddle... maybe you were in your nice shoes??? And the temptation of that puddle was just too strong to ignore, and you just had to ... just just had to do it!  In a second, S T O M P... you were in it, water splashing, feet in it, and it felt GREAT,

 G R E A T !!! That too is a great visual of Stomp and the "feeling" of "owning it" feeling it through out and within your body...

or being on solid sand, or solid ground and jumping in the air, landing on solid ground, and

S T O M P... feeling it in every part of you... vibrational energy moving through you.... you are alive, within and moving emotion,,,, feelings.....././

anyone feeling me here???? I had to get up and

STOMP just writing about it! Oh my, gotta have a refill I am on a roll now..

So my friends you see at the end of my thoughts I talk to you about those I hold sacred in fire and thoughts on the wind right... well,

The fire is very sacred to us Cherokee.

Way back when it was built at the bottom of a pit below the ground, it burns constantly. The  Cherokee believe that soon after the creation of the Cherokee people, the Creator left his throne in Heaven to visit earth.

He chose four strong, healthy, good and true Cherokee women who believed in the Creator with all their hearts.

 Today it is kept burning in pits, in the heart when no pit is available, Cherokee women and men are still strong, still here, we still stand and weather the adversity of life's’ storms so long ago.

We miss our beloved Ms. Chief Wilma P Mankiller, still adjusting to her being gone from this earth.

STOMP Dance, the sacred dance of the Cherokee…the women tie shakers around their legs made of tortoise shells or tin cans with small stones in them. The women keep the beat by stomping their legs, shaking the shells. There is no audience.
Instead, everyone who comes to a stomp dance participates.
There are no electric lights.
Instead, the dancers move in a spiral around a campfire.


So, the stomp dance may seem to be a profound expression of Cherokee identity.


Pow Wows are held across the country where folks gather, Indians from across the country gather, they dance, they sell their time honored and traditional goods, some are commercialized these days and there is always wonderful fry bread and festivities! While there you will hear the native music, the drummers drumming, the fancy dancers dancing, the circle continues… we are still here, we STOMP, we dance, we thrive and have survived.


In a recent book entitled Powwow, author Gary Ellis quoted a dancer from Oklahoma: "Even when I go to Red Earth [one of the big, commercial pow wows] you know what really gets me going? It's when one of those drums sings a Comanche song. I say to myself, 'Hey, good, that's one of our songs. It really reminds me of who I am and why I'm here”.
I too am reminded each day I greet the morning, each beat of Mother Earths heartbeat, each reminder of the Ancestors… I have always blending therapeutic practice with Native healing ways... folks like that, they heal in ways that the Ancestors help them with that way in the greater circle of life. They get STOMP... it requires no explanation to most... they get it through body mind spirit connection, and for that I give thanks, and so it is! Wado ~


Being Indian is an attitude, a way in being in balance with all things, on this side and the other side in spirit land. Being one with all things, to STOMP at all times in circles in dance and in life… feeling the rhythm of the beat of natures’ drum, of Mother Earth and her heart beat, being able to teach others to STOMP own their day, to watch children stomp in puddles and learn the stories is a great reminder for adults to remember "when" the pleasure and the feelings of STOMP, those who now STOMP into their day, perhaps by reading Healing Heartaches, perhaps as a result of their very own personal journey.


Whether just for fun or for empowerment… when fighting great battles with CANCER, MS, sudden and traumatic dealings through loss, when walking through grief or walking through hell… emerging as a survivor or a warrior ~
I encourage you to dig deep, to feel the soil under your feet, the wind as it caresses your face, to smile until your face aches from the experience and


STOMP, s t o m p ~ S T O M P






When you stomp you distribute the very life energy and feel it move through your body, you move the emotion, the energy, you feel better, you know you are alive, and have choices to make… I pray you make the ones that are best for your life.






The Stomp Dance is the traditional religious dance of the Cherokee and is held at a sacred dance site traditionally.
The sacred fire is always burning, will always burn brightly

Women prepare a meal for the day consisting of traditional and modern foods ranging from cornbread, brown beans and chicken to all kinds of pies, fry bread, cakes and other delicious treats. A-ne-jo-di (stickball) is played in the afternoon.


At sundown, the Chief brings out the traditional pipe and fills it with tobacco. He then lights the pipe with coals from the Sacred Fire and takes seven puffs. The pipe is then passed to the Medicine Man from each clan, beginning with the Aniwaya (Wolf) Clan and each Medicine Man takes seven puffs. The Chief, Medicine Men and elders hold a meeting and then call for the first dance. The first dance is by invitation, tribal elders, Medicine Men and clan heads.


All the members visit and dance until sunrise. Each individual group has its own schedule for the dances, which is a Holy place to worship the Creator There are two major ceremonies held. One is to commemorate the birth of Redbird Smith and the other is to show appreciation to the Creator for a bountiful harvest. This varies dependent on where you are now in these modern times.


Stomp Dance participants include a leaders, assistants and one or more female shell shakers who wear leg rattles made from turtle shells and pebbles. Some wear shakers made from small milk cans. The shakers provide rhythmic accompaniment while dancing around the fire. The dance can not begin without the shell shakers.


In the Stomp Dances of southeastern Indian cultures, the woman plays a very important role. The shell shaker is the woman partner of the dance singer or leader. The woman enters the dance behind the lead singer and produces music from the rattling sounds made by shuffling her feet. Legend has it that because of the natural designs on the turtle shell that look like women dancing, the turtle says "Let women dance".


A series of wampum belts serve to record and ‘read' the traditional beliefs and stories. Made of wampum beads sewn together with a form of seaweed from old Mexico, the belts are very old. The wampum belts are shown only on very sacred occasions. The history of the belts relates that many years ago, the tribe was preparing to go to war. The medicine men foresaw which would survive, and cut the original wampum belt into seven pieces. After the war, the belts were scattered, and the last one was recovered by Redbird Smith in the very early 1900's.


So there you go, a bit of Cherokee history all because a dear reader wanted a visual of “STOMP”!
See it always happens when you get me started with a request or a thought, I just take my coffee and take off, with the help of the spirits, who knows where I just might go. With the flutes and drums playing in the background, I swear the four-leggeds are doing their own rendition of stomp dance around the pool, could it be that they are being inspired by the music? Not for me to question I guess, only to enjoy on this beautiful morning.

Mark Twain said, "Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest"

The fire is burning and the embers are red hot... prayers on the wind to those who have asked, to Chris in NY hope you are soon home in FL, to Jill warpaint on for you dear one, to Cindy in NC you are in the prayers and thoughts of many and in the arms of the angels... 6 year old Shelby and family/friends I pray you are getting stronger, for Faith, Liz, Lee, Molly, Joanie, Denise, Jim, Vicki's Mom, Charlie Soap and Family, Dr Height's sister, and all of us who will miss Dr Height's brilliance and her smile in those hats on the hill! To those in "southwest Virginia" and those fighting their battles, you are with us, we have you surrounded in thoughts of hope and healing ways... and in the arms of some powerful angels... May you find comfort knowing you are not alone.

STAND UP ~ STOMP ~ YOU ARE A WARRIOR ~

Wherever you are and whatever you are doing today, I wish you enough!

Walk In Beauty,
DRSES
author of
Healing Heartaches, Stories of Loss and Life
http://www.drsherryeshowalter.com/