HEALING HEARTACHES, STORIES OF LOSS AND LIFE

STOMP

Celebrate You

Honor The Old Ways

Incorporate The New

Stomp

It is going to be a great Sunday... I plan to spend it on the water, to soak up the sun, to watch for the dolphins, to pray them and all the water ones safety from the threat of the Gulf Oil Spill that is growing closer to us here....
I am still honored and just "giddy" by all the many thoughts and comments of yesterday! Guess the thoughts of Dr Dorothy Height and the Cherokee Stomp "fired you up" and got you to STOMPin'!~ Wado~ from my heart to yours ~

Fresh pot of coffee is on, I'll pour two cups this mornin; one for me and one for you... if you don't drink yours by the time I finish mine, I'll just assume you're still sleepin' and I'll just drink it for ya! Deal?

The hibiscus are in bloom, I guess that the warmth has finally embraced us again! It sure is a welcomed warmth! The sun was bright and hot yesterday, many were walking the beaches, looking for evidence of the oil spill all praying not to see any.

I heard from someone yesterday who talked at length about her grief, asking again for validation of the changes she was feeling since her loss. I empathized with her, her pain of loss as she told me her story. Sometimes compassionate listening and validation is the best friend you can offer. And then I did remind her...

Grief Changes US Forever/// But we survive. We must choose that path, just as the Cherokee on that trail of tears many many moons ago chose to ... we are survivors by nature. Were that not so, we would not be here, you would not be reading this, I would not be writing it. You see, our parents, our grandparents... they too suffered great and profound losses, great heartaches... they survived, and we are the living proof of that. We ARe HERE, right here right now... and their Ancestors... they had great struggle, great heartaches, they too survived...
And through great adversity, great times of loss, grief . . . through darkness, we will emerge into the light as survivors, perhaps stronger than ever before. But right now, it is hard to see that, to believe that. At best we can just hold it as a possibility. We Can STOMP ~
We can reach out, learning to ask for what is needed, to enlist others to put on their warpaint with and for us... to listen without judgment, to allow us to lean on them when our feet feel unsteady; to stand alongside us when we feel alone... We Can remember balance...
Tears balanced with laughter
Sad balanced with glad
Solitude balanced with social times
Quiet time balanced with Music
Stillness balanced with Energy
You feelin me???



Life changes us, we grow, we learn, we make choices everyday. We are evolving all the time.

This is as it should be. Grief changes us in unique ways.
We learn to appreciate life in experiencing the seasons, experiencing the little ones and the Elders.
Sometimes we appreciate a loved one only after their death; so sad. 
Other times we love someone from the first moment our eyes meet and love them intensely and joyfully until the moment they leave this earth... thrilled that we were blessed with them in this life, honored by the gift of them, knowing they are not gone from us ever, only their body in the physical sense. Yes we mourn them being here, but in that deepest spiritual connection they are still a part of us, death cannot separate that ~ We grieve not for them... we grieve us without them, and that is different.

We grow to know ourselves in a different way. We develop a renewed respect for time, for the fragility of life, and for the necessity to value each day.
To hold dear the memories of our loved one, and to celebrate each moment we have while we have it to share.



While we will never be the same person we were before we were confronted with our grief, our loss, it is possible to embrace the changes for the growth, the truths that they bring.

None of us want these particular changes to be thrust on us by loss and suffering it’s ravages, but at some point, everyone that has ever loved, will experience the winter of their own grief. It is a reflection of the depth of our connections, our love, the importance of the relationship we shared.

Given the opportunity we would probably choose for everyone we loved to live forever, or at least to outlive us.
We do not get to call all the shots.
The reality is that we have lost and may well lose someone else to death.

Each journey is unique.
The wisdom we glean form the death of one dear to us may in some ways prepare us to face the next grief journey a bit more enlightened, but it will not prevent us from experiencing grief in new or different ways.

Grief is not that predictable.



So, while we may have better coping skills, more understanding of ourselves and the grief process,

We will still be challenged to weather each encounter with grief without the ability to conquer it. And no one is exempt from the pain of loss; not health care providers, not hospice workers, chaplains, therapists, NOT NO BODY...


For grief is not to be conquered. It is to be survived.

I am a survivor, how about you?





Survivors we are.
We will not always be strong. We may not ever be able to make this journey alone, and we should not expect this of ourselves.
Death is a part of the cycle of life.

Grief shared lightens our burden, eases our pain. Each change it evokes in us lends depth to our character. Allows us to deepen our respect for life, for time, for the precious connections we have with others.
Our focus is to treat ourselves kindly.
Accept the difficulty of the journey.
Know that we will come out the other side of this experience stronger, wiser, and we will regain our balance.


We will be, or are changed forever by having loved, having lost, and having grieved deeply.
It is a journey lead by our hearts.
We are resilient, we are warriors.

We can in the end adapt to change because we must. Know that these adaptations, these changes will serve us well as we continue to learn and grow form each experience. Be kind and gentle with yourself as you journey. Do likewise for others as they do their grief work. Accept support, seek it out. Offer support when it is needed.
Be about giving the gift of your love to others, and embracing the love others offer.
Know yourself as well as you can.
Live your best life. Grieve well.

Use all the tools you have at your fingertips and in your heart space, but open your heart to receive all that is there for you to heal.



Live well, love deeply, know that you will heal from the heartaches grief brings.
You will regain your balance.
You will be different because you have made this difficult journey.
Your life will be changed, you will be changed.
But you will emerge whole ready to re-invest in life, to dance with the heart beat of natures rhythm... if you choose to.

The fire is burning brightly, the embers are just about right... they are looking hot! Prayers being sent on the winds this morning to those who have asked, to those that know "who you are"
For Chris in NY, Stand UP, STOMP, to Jill we are with you my friend, STOMP, climb with all your might, fight... we have our warpaint on and are with you, to Cindy, Denise, Jim, 6 year old Shelby, Faith, Phyllis, those in "Southwest Virginia", Liz, Lee, Molly, Joanie, Laura, Matthew, Judy, and so many others, we are standing strong with you! When you are tired, we will be there as you rest, at the ready, we will fight on, when you are rested we will fight with you... You have some powerful people here who are Stomping for you, sending HOPE in healing, thoughts on the wind, prayers and support... you are in the arms of the angels and those here, may you find strength and comfort here.

Wherever you are and whatever you are doing today, have an OUTSTANDING SUNDAY!

Walk In Beauty,
DRSES
author of
Healing Heartaches, Stories of Loss and Life
http://www.drsherryeshowalter.com/