LILY THE AMERICAN BLACK BEAR

I LOVE LILY!

and No... I didn't take this picture!!!

Lily is a super-star... and Lily is in Labor!!!! She is going to have those babies any minute now and it is being viewed by thousands of people "live on the web, via a live cam"...

http://www.bear.org/

AND... I am addicted to this site, (thanks to Joan and granddaughter Olivia I might add)!!! "Oh Nana, are you watching Lily... Look she moved right now!!!"  And so it began; the author of Healing Heartaches; sitting on the Lanai; coffee in hand  ~ ~ ~ not one, but two laptops on the table... the phone nearby... Joan will be calling any minute for an update as she drives to work I just know it!

One laptop already tuned into http://www.bear.org/  and I watch... with eyes glued to the screen... Lily is breathing! Whew... I am hooked; I am fascinated, I am with bear spirit ~ ~ ~

Laptop two: OK, I have to get some work done... much to do today! OOPS... I caught Lily move out of the corner of my eye!

OH MY, Lily is on the move... PHONE RINGS... "Hello Joan?

Quick, turn the computer on, Lily is up... she is smiling at me!!! Yes Yes I know it is early but YOU GOT ME ADDICTED TO LILY!!! Quick, turn it on, look she is sticking her tongue out, isn't she beautiful...."  And so it goes, another Lily day!!!

OK, I have to let others know of this wonderment... I'll text my chiropractor;  ummm, let's see, "Dr Gallagher, please check out Lily the black bear in her den" hahaha

I'll post it on facebook, I'll call and email everyone...

great.... now I can't get on to see Lily... the web is overflowing with people watching Lily. ABC news has picked it up... Whatever was I thinking by calling everyone and posting it everywhere... oh no... whatever will Lily do without me. Thank goodness my best friend was not impressed. She thinks watching the live feed is rather like "watching paint dry", at least I don't have to compete with her!  Whew....

At last count there were more than 6200 watching the live web cam...  can you imagine?  We are all watching a black bear in her den!  At best we get to see her move a little; we get to look in her beautiful eye, see her massive paw and her claws, we get to observe her beauty and her majesty as she prepares to bring her cubs into the world.  And we are mesmerized by it all...

Lily is three years old; her birthday was yesterday! She is in her den in Minnesota where it is some kinda cold.  Lily is hibernating in her den where someone brilliant has installed a web cam with infrared light so that they can conduct research...

She has history with these researchers; she is a part of a long time study of the American black bear, where you can dig a little deeper at the website for all the information you could ever want about the bear study. Lily has won the hearts of many.

And do you want to know what is even more remarkable? Lily has a fan page on facebook with 42,573 fans!!!!!  Now I currently have 472 fans and that is with continual marketing and begging and pleading... I am told that one can only have 5,000 fans max on facebook... Oh, but what I would do to get 5,000 fans ~ ~ ~

LILY HAS 43,573 FANS AND GROWING

YOU GO LILY!!!

So fast forward a bit and then we get back to my very best friend... Now she has taken her laptop and logged on to http://www.bear.org/

No longer does she say, "This is as much fun as watching paint dry"... OH noooo, another Lily addict! Yep, she is on the Lily watch; each move, each hiccup, each baby jump in the ole' belly... another one hooked by the majesty and sweetness of Lily.  We are enchanted. We love Lily; she takes us away from the troubles of the world, the rhythm of her breathing is balm for the soul, her eyes are mirrors of our own beauty. There is a remarkable pureness about Lily the Black Bear... she is not interrupted by humans, not intertwined with their troubles, she is just Lily; in her den, doing what bears do in winter...

She will have her cubs and alone she will birth them, clean them, tend to them... she will give them what they need, oversee their behaviors; guide and groom them and in a mere year, they will sleep through their first birthday without pomp or circumstance and then will be off to the wild... and Lily will have done well...

If we can keep her safe from the humans and the guns and the hunters.

The phone is ringing... "Hello Joan; Hi Olivia... Nana here... Nooo you can't stay up all night watching Lily. I know you want to see her when the babies come... Nooo I don't think she will have them without you watching... Yes I think we should go to sleep and if they come while we are sleeping it will be because Lily wanted some privacy... Sure it will be fine.... OK, nite nite girls... Nana Loves you both."

http://www.bear.org/

Did I mention that you can make donations to the Lily fund or to the bear.org?

And... did I mention that Lily has 42,573 fans?

hahaha

Life is a daring adventure or nothing at all! I think Helen Keller said that, but I bet if Lily could she might be thinking that . . .

OK, here is the real truth... this is being written the night before the post, because I plan to be very busy in the am watching and cheering Lily on.

Healing Heartaches speaks to the power of bear totem/bear spirit... and now we are able to watch the black bear, in her environment, preparing to birth her cubs... talk about power and spirit...

Gotta go... time to check on Lily!

Walk In Beauty,

author of Healing Heartaches, Stories of Loss & Life

http://www.healingheartaches.com/

~ Just Being With Others ~

Miracles occur in the strangest of places

Fancy meeting you here...

Sit down beside me & tell me your story...

Isn't this a great candid shot? haha ~ We do like to eat at a Donelewega!

The power of support, once began as strangers; folks not knowing each other, neighbors in the same community, the same county, possibly shopping in the same stores.

Brought together by the universal thread of loss and grief, apprehensive at first; eyes that were knowing but not looking; hands that gripped krumpled kleeenex; tears that sat near the surface and voices that quivered when words came from their trembling lips as they introduced themselves through their pain.

But months later strong bonds had formed, friendships forged, a sacred community built... eyes held contact with one another with intensity; laughter could be heard rooms away as stories were shared and phone numbers exchanged, and plans made to meet for dinner next week.  A gathering was planned; a Cherokee "Donewlega" a greater circle of healing; an evening of sharing the stories; of "breaking bread together" of remembering and of ritual and for some a time of saying "until we meet again". The sage and sweetgrass was burning, the smudging of energies prepared for all; the music filled the room, the food arrived as did the survivors... the talk for the evening focused on the journey that had been made through grief... the shared miles through tears of heartache into the light of healing.

They were "the star group"... survivors of sudden and traumatic losses... adults who had survived the unthinkable and had come together at the absolute worse time of their lives!  Together they had cried; they had witnessed each others painful stories; they had held each others pain, been there for each others moments of despair, they had listened to suggestions, tips, and stories of hope in healing... they had listened without judgment and without asking for anything in return. In turn they were listened to just as lovingly, and sometimes they were confronted with truth and with statements of brutal but caring honesty that it was time to come out of their cocoon of pain and sometimes self-absorption and re-enter life again differently than ever before. And they listened!

They are SURVIVORS!  And as you can tell from the picture; they have survived well while incorporating their pain of loss into the very fabric of their lives!

Yes, we all will have those times of a "bad day", "of missing" and/or sadness... those are a part of the human condition, but it is what we choose to do with those moments that make the difference.

As seen in this photo, the members of "the star group" chose well; they chose to be together; to gather together with the intention and want and desire of "hope", of  "healing ways", iof  "choosing" to "feel positive", of "choosing to heal", "choosing to remember", of "holding that which was dear", while "letting the rest go", of "letting go of those things which no longer serves them", while "releasing that which pained them", and of  "re-joining the dance of life". They are SURVIVORS...

Are YOU A SURVIVOR?

If you are needing help or assistance or support, I hope you make the choice to look or to continue to search for what you need. I am a strong advocate of support groups, individual therapy... I would suggest that you check with your local hospices in your area; your physician, your faith communities, mental health communities, and/or other community offerings to explore all the options/groups that may be available for you. The power of support can be tremendous!

For the star group and for all those that are re-investing in life and loving those that matter to them, I give thanks today...

And So It Is!!! Wado! (Thank you)

Walk In Beauty

author of Healing Heartaches Stories of Loss and Life

http://www.healingheartaches.com/

http://www.drsherryeshowalter.com/

I am available for keynotes/seminars. Please visit the website for more information. I am also seeing clients in Palm Harbor now and information is also available on the website regarding individual therapy sessions.

~PaNtS ON The GROUND ~

"You know I have a horrible feeling

that song could be a hit"!

I love Simon Cowell... and if he leaves American Idol I fear I will have to find something else to fill that entertainment time in my home! I just love Simon; his wicked statements, his humor, his pencil in his teeth and that devilish grin... I even love it when he just has to get up and walk away ~ ~ ~ probably going for a smoke and a breath of fresh air and quiet to restore his hearing if only for a little while ~ ~ ~

But when General Larry Platt took the stage... I just had a feeling we were in for a few minutes of absolute fun!

He didn't disappoint us did he?  Even MJ Blige took all she had not to fall out of her chair as he jumped right into his now famous "Pants On The Ground"!  With that ending, I feared he might need assistance from the medical team, but oh no... not General Larry Platt ~ ~ ~ he stood with pride as he faced his judges.

And with courage under fire and a spark in his eye, Simon stated quite simply, "You know... I have a horrible fear that song could be a hit"!  And to further make that a possibility Randy jumped up and began to sing with the General for the world to see that yes, stranger things have indeed happened. Add to that we have Kara and Mary J Blige snapping their fingers and singing along. A hit in the making to be sure!

Now General Randy Platt has been been on The View; met Whoopie, been the subject of tweets on Twitter, blogged about and on the pages of Facebook more than I can count!

While parents and grandparents all across America make comments loudly and under their breaths about our youth on the streets, in our homes, in the schools, the grocery stores and in the airports and subways... and no one listens (particularly not the ones wearing their pants on the ground)  ... a man in his 60's gets on American Idol and the world goes nuts! They are all listening; they are inviting him on national T.V., they are tweeting about him, his lyrics, his immense "chutzpah" so to speak!  And about what you ask.... a song he wrote called, "Pants On The Ground"!!! Only In America!!!

Gotta Love It!!!

Did I mention that I love me some Simon Cowell? Where else can you watch someone look incredibly bored; disgusted, tickled pink, speak their mind, not care, be brutally honest, not care what anyone thinks... and still make ridiculous amounts of money and be adored by millions ~ ~ ~

Maybe next go around, I'll ask to come back as Simon! haha

So back to "Pants On The Ground"... What is "up with that"?

When I've been in airports recently I am continually amazed at the number of young men I see with their "pants on the ground"; tugging pulling, looking uncomfortable all the time. I always get a view of their boxers whether I want to see them or not; they are always grabbing, always holding, always "hiking themselves up". I wonder if they pay more for the extra material in the pants; if they think they are going to loose weight; if they know the origin of "why" men started wearing their "pants on the ground"...  BUT mostly I wonder when this particular phase or fashion will go out of style!!!

Now with the good and now famous General Larry Platt, we may see some changes... it just may be that he shames these young men into purchasing pants that really fit them. Wouldn't that be wonderful?  I mean after all who in their right mind would want to be listening to a song blasting from their car speakers and then exit a car with their "pants on the ground" while singing the words, "you lookin like a fool wit your pants on the ground"!  Perhaps Larry is doing the world a great service and the producers of American Idol really did know what they were doing when they broke the age restrictions by allowing him to audition.

That's it!!! THEY HAD A PLAN ~ ~ ~ Now I get it, they were planning a way for us to get the message out for these young men to stop wearing their "pants on the ground".  Bloody brilliant, now I am convinced this was Simon's idea.  See he is a mastermind behind the entire show. It cannot exist and be the success it has become without him. He choreographed this whole thing.  Ah.... he is a minx to be sure.

While at times dubbed the "resident bad boy" you must admit he "tells it like it is" and for that we should all stand up and give him "props". Now don't get me wrong, I do love Randy, he is my "dawg" and "I feel him", and he keeps it real ...  

Ryan is great for fashion and laughs and ... well he's Ryan, his commentaries get him into trouble and at times as Simon would tell you he is "predictable"! But you gotta love him, he's cute and he likes to stir it up with the judges; he likes to get into a mess and he loves to ask the contestants how they are feeling about their experiences.

I'm still trying to "feel" Kara, but she is still feeling her way into the show. MJ Blige was fantastic and I just loved it when she had to "lean into" Kara to attempt to control her fits of laughter... wish she could stay, she definitely calls it like she sees it.  I do miss Paula though; she and Simon and Randy had something special, they were good together. I wish her all the best life has to offer.

But for some of the contestants, I've been thinking.... they walk among us!  Think about that for a moment... and join me in being afraid at times! haha

No wonder Simon has to take breaks, shows the world his frustration and no wonder he returns home with security and to the safe solitude of his world. We have folks standing on a stage in front of the world "boob boxing", jumping in the air and falling on the ground, rolling their eyes in less than human ways, "crotch grabbing", advocating for families like no tomorrow with statements like, "Oh My God, he is just like Michael Jackson, wait until you see him" only to have us watch and then fall in the floor!  And heaven forbid w must see the ones who cannot stand the truth... the ones who show us their sides of disappointment by gesturing, cussings, screaming, crying and otherwise making utter fools of themselves in front of their families, employers and future would have been employers and wouldhave been girl and boyfriends....  People are just outright ridiculous at times ... and to think they eat with those mouths too!!!!

But through it all we can count on Simon to amuse us, say the things that we wish we could say... he will roll his eyes, stop folks in mid scream with his, "that's enough" or "that was absolutely dreadful" or "why are you here" Have you ever noticed how the judges chew on a pen, cover their eyes, choke, laugh, look out the windows and and comment on the sky, all at the same time... and then are able to say no! And then Simon will say, "Here we go ... and he will giggle and tilt his head  in a wonderful way that only Simon Cowell would dare to, smile a fabulous smile and wink.  ""I dont know what that was", "Naughty", "Minx", or "people like you are the reason I do this show", and "just kidding"  all more of Simon's quotes! haha

Now enter Brian Krause... how in the world did he get past the producers for round one I ask you. As he rolls his eyes and opens his mouth he is immediately met with, "Ok Brian is this a joke, swear on your Mothers life this is not a joke"  Consensus of judges, NO... and I am sitting here saying, ARE YOU KIDDING ME????

And the stories and traumas and events of some of the contestents; just pull my heart from my chest and step on it...

And very soon Ellen D. will join them, Ellen the talk show host that everyone loves; you know Ellen ... the one that hounded Oprah until she was on the cover of O?  Well, we'll see how she does as a judge, how she "fits in" with Simon, Kara and Randy; we'll see if she dances her famous Ellen dance.

Did I tell you I have followed her lead?  I am hounding her like she hounded Oprah; I tweet her everyday, telling her about Healing Heartaches, Stories of Loss and Healing!!! Maybe she will follow Oprah's lead and finally just give in and read the book! After all, she did end up on Oprah's cover with her persistence didn't she!!!

Now in closing ... did I mention, I love Simon?

While the General is on The View, probably headed for Ellen D and Oprah and The Today Show; I am trying to spread the word of Healing Heartaches, can't sing and am too old to make it past the security guards to get Simon's attention... But I bet he would love Healing Heartaches if anyone knows how to get a copy to him I sure would like that! Wonder if he could get me on The View; I am "tweeting Ellen and Oprah daily"... still waiting.

Here you go, the lyrics of "Pants On The Ground", next time you see someone with theirs on the ground, don't stare, just sing!

Intro: This is for people who need [to] pull their pants up~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So to you General Larry Platt, I say thank you! You were entertaining, informative and I hope that your song will inspire and speak to not only those with their "pants on the ground" but to the world!!

To you Simon; don't leave us! We need your honesty, your humor and that fabulous smile... but... if you do, may all the best be yours.  I hope that the judges have great insurance on their ears... they may need it before this season is over wii--ii--t-t-thh a-a-all thhee rr-uu--uu-nn-nn s they are having to heearrr...
and the teearrrsss that are fallll-eee-nnn-ggg on the stage `~`~`~

"YOU'RE GOIN TO HOLLYWOOD BABY `~` "

To those reading today; may today's blog lighten your load, brighten your smile and bring laughter to the world in which you dancing. Hope you've got "your pants off the ground" and a song in your heart~!!!

Walk IN Beauty!

author of Healing Heartaches, Stories of Loss and Life

order your autographed copies at:

http://www.healingheartaches.com/

available for speaking engagements and seminars, please take a look at the website for more information!

NOW SING!

Pants on the ground

Pants on the ground

Lookin' like a fool with your pants on the ground

With the gold in your mouth

Hat turned sideways

Pants hit the ground

Call yourself a cool cat

Looking like a fool

Walking downtown with your pants on the ground

Get it up


Hey, get your pants off the ground


Looking like a fool


Walkin', talkin', with your pants on the ground


Get it up

Hey, get your pants off the ground


Looking like a fool with your pants on the ground


Gold in your mouth


Hat turned sideways


Pants hit the ground


Call yourself a cool cat


Looking like a fool


Walkin', talkin', with your pants on the ground


Boom, Uno, Dos, Tres


Looking like a fool with your pants on the ground


With the gold in your mouth

Hat turned sideways

Pants hit the ground

Take Care Of YOU!

 Walking through my mind

What a lovely picture to lose yourself in ... taking a walk with only the trees and nature as your companions, with beauty surrounding you. Ah...  and just that easy, we can all do that anytime we want! By just holding this picture in your mind and practicing that mindfulness that I have written about; you too can take that walk as often as you make the time for yourself! Perhaps you can fit a few minutes into your day... sit still, close your eyes... bring up that picture you have just committed to your memory and safe place in your mind/heart ... take a nice deep breath ~ ~ ~ breathe in ~ ~ ~ breathe out ~ ~ ~ and then take that lovely stroll through the picture ... relax... enjoy it...

We all deserve those small breaks in the day; times to refresh our spirit and renew our senses! You may be surprised at how good it can make you feel!  This photo is a wonderful one to use as an image to hold in your mind, one to return to from time to time, and to breathe into for a break from the stress of the day, by taking  a walk in your mind!  The great thing is, if you save the blogsite to your favorites on the computer it will be easy for you to get to as well.

Sometimes we all need gentle reminders of things like this, small steps to give ourselves the permission for self-care during the hustle and bustle of a regular day. It's not that I am talking to myself or to those reading this as a child, it's that I know how we all get busy and forget the essentials of self, particularly self-care! But it is important to do something good for YOU each and every day... really important!

I've been known to say to a friend and/or colleague; "tell it to me like I was three and then tell it to me one more time"! Figuring that way, I might really absorb the words into my nervous system and make their words my truth on a primal level, not necessarily an intellectual one! 

Remember how much easier things were when we were children? Well OK, not all things... but some things are better broken down on the gut level, keeping it real!

Children instinctively seem to know how to balance; they play hard and rest hard! They scream and holler and stomp with wild abandon and then they tell you that they are sad beyond words and quiet or tearful. They are good about those things, but then they become like us... they grow up and become "civilized adults"... they learn to bury their emotions, to stuff those feelings and to "run, run, run".  Can you remember when you were little? Do you need to run barefoot in the rain again?

We need to be more like the children; to have recess time, nap time, restore time in order to holler, stomp, play... balance!

Perhaps then we wouldn't be grouchy in traffic at the end of a day, would feel more energized in the afternoon, have more to give to others in our lives,  ... maybe we would laugh more and be more spontaneous and easier to talk to about matters of the heart!

Something to think about anyway...

But for today... 

perhaps you can just take a few minutes and look at this photo, take a few cleansing breaths, close your eyes for a few minutes and visualize taking a walk through that photo... listening to the sounds ~ smelling the fragrances ~ feeling the sun on your face ~ hearing the whispers from the wind ~ and the sounds of laughter ~ 

Balance...  ~Body-Spirit-Mind Connection ~

Laugh ~ Love ~ Stomp ~ Play ~ Live ~ Rejoice ~ Enjoy ~ Play

I just love Dr. King's quote, "If you can't laugh in Heaven, I don't want to go" YOU can laugh today... you just only need to look around you; there is something funny somewhere ... make faces in the mirror if you have to, or make faces at a stranger and watch how they look at you! Now that will be very funny!!! Remember Shakespeare... tragedy/comedy, tragedy/comedy....

 

Walk In Beauty

author of Healing Heartaches, Stories of Loss and Life

http://www.healingheartaches.com

http://www.drsherryeshowalter.com

Martin Luther King Day 2010

WE

Are The Keepers of The Dream

President Obama spoke in a church over the week-end remembering the live of Dr Martin Luther King; he talked about the country, the economy, the challenges and opportunity that we as a nation face.  He honored the life and the legacy of Dr King... a life lived on conviction, on faith in the human spirit; spirit that went beyond color and into the heart of the matter.  He spoke in a church where Dr King himself had stood more than 50 years ago . . . he called himself an African American President and he spoke of the work that Dr King had done to fight the fights to make that possible.

I wonder... What would Martin Luther King think if he were with us; right here right now...  most of us, many of us shared in that dream. We walked those miles alongside him, we cried with him, we stood for the rights of others, for the civil rights of all. We did not see color, we looked for those with good hearts and intentions. We believed in the resiliency of the human spirit.

We had faith; even in the hardest of times, we kept the faith, even in the ugliest of times, we sang together and prayed together.

"We Shall Overcome, One Day"

President Obama talked about our difficulties as a nation, our challenges and struggles being faced.  He spoke of the myriad of struggles during the civil rights movement, the growth and he talked about the past ~ the present ~ the future.

He talked about his pride in being an African American and being the President of the United States of America and the journey in getting to the White House in pasrt being forged by the work done by Dr King and many others during those times way back when. Yes the walk has been long, the fights and the scars fresh for many, the legacies live on, although many youth today have no real ideal of the history.

Here we are in 2010 . . . some struggles continue.

Mr. President, you are not an African American; you are a man, a husband a father.  After those things you are also a man of "mixed race"; you are a beautiful and wonderful composite of parents, grandparents and
Elders that are wonderfully different. You are a role model to millions of people, adults and children alike that now can see "The President of the United States of America" who is a mirror image of themselves no matter how they identify themselves.  Isn't that what Martin Luther King was trying desperately to teach all of us with his work, his life and his legacy... haven't we learned? We are people first...

It is not about color, not about identification or skin color or how much of this blood or that breed or labels... it is about love, acceptance tolerance,

"what you STAND FOR,

understanding, forgiveness

and togetherness.

It is about all the people, uniting together under one nation under God.

It is about the old saying, "can't everyone just get along"!

Do you remember these quotes and beliefs of

Martin Luther King...

For his life and his legacy,

I give thanks, and so it is!

"I have a dream, that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of there skin but by the content of their character"

"Everything that is done in the world is done by hope"

"Faith is a living, daring confidence in God's grace, so sure and certain that a man could stake his life on it a thousand times."

"God writes the Gospel not in the Bible alone, but also on trees, and in the flowers and clouds and stars."

"If I am not allowed to laugh in heaven, I don't want to go there".

"Music is the art of the prophets and the gift of God."

"My heart, which is so full to overflowing, has often been solaced and refreshed by music when sick and weary".

"Peace if possible, truth at all costs".

"When schools flourish, all flourishes"

I can think of no better way to honor Martin Luther King today than to share some of his quotes and remember the man, the leader and to continue to honor the legacy. I hope that he is laughing in heaven and dancing in the lights. I feel certain that he would be saying to all of us, "I have a dream... I have a reality, I have faith; and all can do better, all can do better."

I wish he could have been here to see how so much has changed and then again... so much stays the same...

It is my sincere hope that I have not offended anyone with today's post... it is not my intention to offend, only to honor Martin Luther King today.

Walk In Beauty

author of Healing Heartaches, Stories of Loss and Life

http://www.healingheartaches.com/

http://www.drsherryeshowalter.com/

Haiti ~ Heartaches across the water ~

I whet my breath with prayers

for those in Haiti

and those who were able to answer the call for help

Haiti, population: approximately 8,710,000.  A country of the West Indies in the beautiful Caribbean. It was originally inhabited by the Aranwak Indians many many moons ago; and became a French colony in the 1600's.

In 2010 it has been struck again with devastation... this time it may well claim the lives of 200,000 ~ ~ ~ and our hearts are heavy for all.  Many are watching their televisions, feeling helpless, feeling great sorrow for those that are there; for those that are here and in other places across the country. Knowing that they too are helpless; as they wait for news, holding hope that maybe they will see the face of loved ones on their televisions at home or receive a phone call telling them that their loved one was spared in this horrible tragedy.

Help is trying to get there... it is not easy as there are not many places or ways to get to the people.  And yes, sadly the scammers are already doing what they do... trying to rip people off by saying if you send money, it will go to Haiti relief.  It makes me sick to think just like Katrina, those people are out there, taking advantage of others in times of great heartache and crisis.

Devastation in Haiti is turning to anger; anger is turning to frenzy. Traumatized people are witnessing things people should never have to witness... their equilibrium is out of whack... they are doing things that are not normal.  These are NOT NORMAL CIRCUMSTANCES FOR PEOPLE THERE.

People are living through a something worst than a nightmare and now some are doing the unthinkable, the unimaginable... they are turning on each other, they are looting and stealing and not in their right minds. They are desperate.

The masses are unable to see the bigger picture, their vision is limited to that which is right under their noses; the smells of death, bodies, screams of neighbors are all around them. They do not have the vision of an eagle; a working T.V. to see that others are trying to reach them with water, food, doctors and nurses...

They probably have no idea of the enormity of this devastation in their homeland, they only know that what they are seeing is enormous in their little part of their world and that is far too much to process in itself.  They are living their own 9/11, without anywhere to take refuge. They are overwhelmed by their circumstances, their devastation. I cannot even imagine what thoughts must be in the head of any one person there living through this horrific event. Can you even imagine?

The physical destruction appears so great that efforts to reach so many in need is made even more complex by the lack of concrete and the bodies laying on road ways.  Watching on T. V. I wonder how Al Roker and the crews there were able to arrive and still look so crisp in their clothing! But the destruction is remarkable; seeing people using their hands to attempt to find loved ones; digging until they bleed, but not stopping, continuing on and on... seeing the wounded, knowing that they feel no one is coming, the desperation seen in their faces, the trauma that is all around akin to a battlefield.

Today I heard about a prison and that the prisoners all escaped; all survived the quake! They are now running the streets, roaming; looting, stealing! They are adding to the madness of a country and its people all devastated. Why is it that they cannot jump into being part of a solution? OK, perhaps I do expect too much at times! Just a thought...

There are thousands using what little energy they have searching for others now, using their hands and bodies, their weak voices calling out names of family members, friends and neighbors, not giving up... Thousands more needing medical attention and even more sitting here in the USA, Canada and around the world hoping and praying that their loved ones survive this horrible event. As a people united, we all pray for those who have died; those who are hurt and those who are left alone and frightened.

We also send heartfelt thanks, prayers and hopes to those who were able to answer the call and have deployed to Haiti to help; to minister, doctor, nurse and provide disaster mental health to those there. Today... I whet my breath across the waters to my brothers and sisters of Haiti with prayers of hope in healing and to the spirits to protect you and yours in the days, months and years ahead.

To all our relations~

May the Creator bless and keep you safe.

We ARE Coming Haiti... We ARE Coming!!! We Always Come in times of Crisis, we all will unite in crisis around the world.

We Always Do ~ 

Here's some ways you can help if you need them:

• clintonbushhaitifund.org
• 1-800-REDCROSS

Walk In Beauty

Dr Sherry E Showalter

Healing Heartaches, Stories of Loss and Life

http://www.healingheartaches.com/

http://www.drsherryeshowalter.com/

Part 6 ~ The Forgotten Mourners ~

Did I leave anything out?

As I end this little series of thoughts for the "forgotten mourners" I guess I should share a few thoughts on the topic of {guilt and forgiveness}, wouldn't want to leave those boulders left unturned now would we? heehe!!!

Guilt is often an unwelcome but often intrusive visitor along the journey through grief. It is important to know and to find your way in "believing in your heart" that guilt and remorse are often a normal reaction to loss itself!

Those who are grieving the loss of someone significant in their lives are caught up in the "if only; should of, could of, might have been".  Some people may become rather obsessed in their guilt, leading to a complicated journey to be sure, one that may require the help and assistance of specialized help ... perhaps a grief therapist/counselor, while others will learn to incorporate their temporary feelings of guilt into the journey of grief.  Guilt may appear as a result of an unfinished conversation with your loved one; business that may not have had time to be finished here on this earth.  Those feelings of guilt can obscure our view of the world, leaving us with feelings of not being a good person, being unworthy; feeling extreme pain and hopelessness. It may be that the adult child feels that they should have "magically" known that death was impending, therefore allowing them to be or do something different than was actually done!

I have often witnessed feelings of guilt in the bereaved who were not present when death occurs. Those folks often hold on to thoughts of, "if only I could have just been there".  People may think if they could have been physically present things may have been different; perhaps they could have controlled the outcome, maybe they would have had the opportunity to finish all the conversations that they had hoped to finish "someday", or maybe even made amends for past conflicts and/or pain...

Could it be that we need to feel some sense of control during this difficult time in our lives... a time when we really have no control?

IF ONLY.... if only we had more time; if only I had made the best use of each day; each moment, each minute... if only I had loved you better!!! If only I had control...

"If only I had lived each day as if it were my last ~

I would have no regrets, no guilt, no remorse!

Ah, but we are only human & we sometimes forget that!

As little children we may get mad, holler, scream and then we

feel better!

As adults we have become too civilized to work through our pain in the same ways...

We forgot how to holler ~

What a shame!

Adults will always be children to their parents"

• It is normal to want comfort and support when missing our Elders
• It is normal to openly express feelings of guilt and anger
• It is normal to wish things would have been different
• It is normal to feel like an adult orphan
• It is normal to have feelings of relief/sadness/guilt & emptiness
• It is normal to need to be hugged
• It is normal to laugh & remember the good ole' days
• It is normal to know you did the best you could at the time
• It is normal to feel like a lost child sometimes
• It is normal to give yourself permission to heal
• It is normal to live the best life possible
• It is normal to tell your stories and to remember them
• It is normal to LIVE LAUGH AND LOVE
• It is normal to take Best Care Of  YOU
• It is normal to continue to conversations with your Elders...

This conclude my thoughts for now on the Forgotten Mourners...
I welcome your thoughts, comments and questions....


Walk In Beauty


author of Healing Heartaches, Stories of Loss and Life

order your autographed copies at:
http://www.healingheartaches.com/
http://www.drsherryeshowalter.com/