Kitchen Tables ~ ~

 

Sittin at the kitchen table

Kitchen tables; ah if only they could talk what stories they must hold through the ages, through the years and in the homes of so many. Sitting at my little table in the kitchen, I am reminded of all the many years at Granny's and all the many people who sat in her kitchen through the years; through the happy and the profoundly sad times, we always had that kitchen and that table... Funny how people just seem to love a table in the kitchen, before they put those big t.v.'s in kitchens that is!

I have a chapter in Healing Heartaches that talks about Kitchen Table Insight; those who have read the book probably remember... I have received many emails about that chapter, and this morning finds me at the kitchen table, coffee in hand and remembering.  Another cold morning in Florida today, I'm thinking spring can't come soon enough.

Through the years the kitchen has been the hub of activity in many a home; families gathered there it seems for much more than a meal! It was the place where you sat and visited; where friends would gather over coffee and catch up on each other and their families, a place of family gatherings long after the meal was served and the dishes were done. Oh my the kitchen was also a great place to catch up on all the gossip as well! You could find out just about anything if you sat there long enough, (*that is if you knew who it was that they were talking about*)!

I can remember that the kitchen table was the "grown-up" place in Granny's home... the kids would pass through, get their plates and then move on to the living room after the blessing-way was said... t.v. trays were galore and a t.v. was in the living room. The Elders were always at the kitchen table and one "graduated" to that table through the years and often had to wait their turn as there were many of us! Of course that table was also used for some grand card games back in the day; and the kids would get to stand around and watch for awhile, but we usually got bored quickly and moved on to other things, and they were usually outside! Sneaking into the garden and stealing tomatoes off the vine was a favorite past-time, along with hammering a hole in a coke in the basement and drinking it and then swearing we had no earthly notion of why the hole was there when questioned later by the Elders! Clever we were!

That old table often had its share of krumpled kleeenex on it as well; left there by those sitting around talking through great times of loss and tragedy within the family. Ours was a family that survived multiple losses and tragedies together. There would be great sorrow shared at that table and stories that the kids never heard, only whispers from the other room... but we all participated in the mourning and funerals together as a family.

Kitchen tables... and those who sit at them, often places of great times and stories, wisdom and insight.

Sadly sometimes places where "family secrets" are hidden and sometimes are brought to light after what seems a lifetime of being kept quiet and hidden from others in attempts at protecting or for some because of shame or even other reasons... but secrets are finally exposed and often right there at someone's kitchen table.  And when it happens that way; it is usually a tremendous shock to the system, usually taking time to absorb, process and will often trigger what feels like the stages of grief as described in Healing Heartaches and as Dr Elisabeth Kubler-Ross' stages of grief. The first being "denial"!
"No way, that can't be true, no it can't be, that could not have happened." Then anger is likely to follow in the next breath, "I will kill or I'm so angry" Emotions and tears are likely to run a wild course when "family secrets" are exposed. It will often take time to think, process and talk talk talk to make sense of it all.

Sitting around Granny's kitchen table was always an event, it was always a place that people ended up! You may go to the living room to be with others and a crowd there as well, but it seemed we all gravitated back to the kitchen long after the meal was over. Granny had her designated chair at the table and others would sit where they could . . . folks would find a seat, bring in a seat from somewhere else, but that kitchen would just be filled. The laughter could be heard outside and the tears would fall on that old table as well, but there is where the talking and the crying and the decisions would be made; right there in Granny's kitchen, right there at that old table...

When I was thinking of the cover for Healing Heartaches I knew that I had to fly to Virginia, I knew it was My Mom's hand that had to be on the cover... I had the image in my head! So it was at Granny's kitchen and with Granny's coffee cup that Mom is holding that the picture you see on the cover was taken... of course after 250 shots we found the perfect one! Granny is proud I just know she is, and that is was taken on her kitchen table makes it all the better ~ that table that holds so many precious and painful memories, so much heartache and so much healing ways... And so it is good~

I have received no less than five emails since Healing Heartaches has been released from people who have read the book, thanking me for writing it; and wanting to share their experiences with me. Those five readers all wanted to share their stories of "family secrets" that came out around a kitchen table and were prompted by the chapter of Kitchen Table Insight. I was and am overwhelmed by their stories; my heart aches for each of them; again I am amazed by the resiliency of the human spirit, and the amazing people that I am most honored to hear from as a result of Healing Heartaches.

I can only imagine their pain; the devastation of feeling as though they were little kids with no one to talk to at the time they needed someone so desperately for fear of what might happen to them... I can only imagine their feelings now that they have been able to share their feelings as they sat around a kitchen table and tell their story of so long ago; freeing their hearts of the story of what was knowing that they cannot be heart or held emotionally hostage any longer by telling their truth.  I am overwhelmed to think that Healing Heartaches was the impetus to release such pain and allow for others to take a stand for themselves along their journey.

My red heart is full, and to them I say, let your knowledge be your truth always. Thank you for your emails and may you always be blessed with your warrior spirit and gentle soul.

I for one am not a fan of "family secrets", I believe them to be destructive and emotionally devastating to others at some point and time along the way.

Just imagine if those kitchen tables could talk all the many stories they would tell! Stories of the neighbors; the community, the relatives who were not present at the last meal! Great and small things have probably always happened around a table, somewhere in this world of ours.

Perhaps we are losing an important tradition as folks move away from having tables in the kitchen . . . now replaced by flat screen t.v.s, dinner in the family room, WII fun and eating out. Or... maybe it is good I guess; perhaps there will not be "family secrets" around the kitchen table like back in "the day", perhaps folks will talk to each other about matters of the heart wherever they are.

Have you sat down and cleared the air with those you love? Have you taken the time to be sure that you are loving those that you love the best way that you can?

Is there any phone calls that you need to make?

Perhaps there are forgiveness issues that need to be addressed... Take your time, think about it... write it all down, let your knowledge be your truth...

Have the best day ever today, know that I wish you enough!

I hope you have a kitchen table to sit at today and I hope you will treat it well; you never know how many stories it holds ~ ~ ~

Walk In Beauty,

author of Healing Heartaches, Stories of Loss & Life

http://www.healingheartaches.com/

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