Missing is a lifelong thing...
But
You LIVE YOUR LIFE FULLY KNOWING THAT THEY ARE WATCHING FROM A DISTANCE!
As forgotten mourners, one must remember that your Elders gave you your very foundation... and from the foundation you have built the house, the home called life that you live. Yes there will be times of missing; of wishing you had that "one more time, one more conversation"... missing is normal and natural!
What are you missing the most
What conversation do you need/want to have
Write it down!
Say it out loud!
Have a ritual of healing for yourself!
Losing a parent, grandparent or Elder is one of the most difficult experiences of our lives. It makes us "feel like a child" again, it makes us feel alone in our pain at times. It is definitely a time for support from others who know first hand of that pain and the depth of that loss. Funny thing is; the pain of this type of loss will re-appear at the strangest of times and often years later... often when ole' man winter has us in his grip, during or after the holidays, around anniversaries or at special events... That grief thing just sneaks up on us and rears its head; bringing back those "missing" feelings of grief. Those are the best times to bring out your pen and paper and just write your heart out! Write about what you are feeling, the thoughts that are running rampant in your heart and head... you may even want to write a letter to your Mom, Dad, Gramps or Gramma... finding a creative way to continue the conversation and the connection. As Chief Seattle once said, "There is no death, only a change of worlds". Perhaps you can find comfort in that quote and in that very exercise if only you will give yourself permission to do it; to feel it in your very soul...
Remember, it is about the body-mind-spirit connection!
As a forgotten mourner it may help if you can remember to:
- Look for beauty in all things (Like the picture today?)
- Honor your memories
- Hold traditions that bring you comfort
- Show your family and friends photos and tell them stories of your Elder and those "back in the day" stories
- Make up a new name for that imaginary friend that you have forgotten way back when, or better yet, ask someone for help with that one!
- Tell people what you need along the way; even if it may have been awhile...
- Strive to survive!
- LAUGH, even if it is at yourself... we are all pretty funny most of the time!
- Search for rainbows ~ ~ ~
My deepest sympathy to those who have lost a loved one this week; my heart aches for your pain of loss...
Walk in Beauty.
author of Healing Heartaches, Stories of Loss and Life
order your autographed copies at:
http://www.healingheartaches.com/
http://www.drsherryeshowalter.com/
1 comment:
Good blog. Good ideas. I savor the memories even when they are standing on a tender spot in my heart. Will try a letter. Feel sright. Thanks for your ideas.
Post a Comment