This is quite profound when you think on it!
As I speak to folks around the Nation, as I listen to stories in the community, in families, in my own... I am continually amazed at what folks hold on to, what they take issue with, what they let come out of their mouths. It can be personal, it can be community, it can be about our country, politics, religion or global. I stand amazed at the number of times it is the same old story on any given day and the story is not always pleasant to hear, not always helpful, yet harmful and sets a track in the brain that seems to have a loop that reminds me of a CD or old 8 track tape. It goes on and on and on and with no good resolve or music... often it skips, it repeats, it causes harm.
It seems that so many spend so much time looking in the rear view mirror that they lose sight of the wonder and the good that is in front of them or the potential of good to come. That thing called HOPE/FAITH/CHARITY/KINDNESS getting lost in the quick to speak, quick to anger, quick to react... only later to escalate with harsh words, bad or hurt feelings.
Thoughts, reactions and words that fall off the most powerful muscle of the body (the tongue) can devastate and basically just mess up a person's day, while the one who spoke them has to be right in their mind or caught up in their emotions. I have to wonder... why is it so important?
What difference will it make in an hour, a few hours, a day, a week? Will it had been worth it to make another feel bad or less than?
To say that you love someone, is to love someone. Period. You do not have to always like what they do, you don't have to always like them in a moments' time, but you never have to be unkind, I don't think you have to ever be combative in communication when you find the pause button in your brain to think before you speak. Some like to stir in shit until it stinks, it just seems that is the way of folks and the world. Others take everything to heart, they get hurt, they don't understand and would prefer to not be judged, to be assessed as being less than one of the Creator's children and a work still in progress.
Don't get me wrong, some are just mean spirited people and from time to time everyone must be called out for that!
However, in day to day life, it is astonishing to me how we want folks to do it this way, do it that way, actually many want others to do it "their way". They seem to forget that as adults they made their own mistakes, their own bad decisions, they lived their lives wide open in their youth, but now have a cow thinking the younger ones are doing it all wrong. It reminds me of that "casting a stone" concept, or glass houses in many ways.
I think of those who have suffered loss; those who have lived through sudden and unexpected loss, have watched life change in a heart beat. I then stand amazed when they speak without remembering how quickly it can all change, speaking without remembering that there is no guarantee of tomorrow and that which they speak can cut like a knife leaving a trail of blood they seem not to see or want to heal.
It happens in families, it happens in communities, it is happening in our Nation and the world. WE can only control our own actions in the hope that others will see, hear, witness that which is still good and model after it, generating the best of the best to come.
WE individually control our thoughts, our mind, our tongues and the words that fall.
If you do not like something? DO NOT DO IT.
If you think someone could do better? Encourage them but do not stick your beliefs, thoughts, and emotional threats down their throats.
IF you feel that "feeling welling up inside you" notice it, make room for it, end the conversation with I love you... before you ring a bell that resonates on the heart and will never be unrung.
Not everyone will live as you or anyone else want them to... Not everyone is walking your path, it is yours alone to walk...
BUT, it is time to water your own grass and put energy into the greening of it, while respecting others and the way they choose to water theirs. It is past time to live in "back then and they/he/she did this and that".
It may help to run through a few quick steps in your mind; "does it really matter? is this my business? why do I care? Can I just be kind through this? Will it matter next week? What impact am I leaving on the heart and mind of another?"
Some folks are quick to give their opinions, but their opinions sound like punishment or judgment. Sad thing is, they damage relationships, they hurt others and become a "I'm right they are wrong" kind of thing that builds up hurt, resentment and trust issues.
Seriously now, there comes a time in life when you have to just let it go. Live your life wide open, remembering that you too were once in shoes that fit differently, with ideas that were different, with times that were different...
This is YOUR time, your life, spend it well... live it kindly, live it with new stories, new experiences, new ways of seeing the world around you, in love, kindness and compassion for all living things.
End each conversation with a voice that genuinely would have no regrets if tomorrow never comes. Seriously now.. you gotta learn to let it go!