Sunday, February 28, 2010


Just "hangin' out"

Last night around 12:25 the last comment says:
"How do those teeny itty bitty seeds buried in darkness find their way to the light", and I laughed out-loud~

Yesterday I received an email from a reader that said, "With all that is happening in the world and the now tragedy in Chili, "how can we have hope",and I replied,"We Must Always Have Hope".


So this morning I will quote MC Hammer in a "tweet" that he often makes on Twitter,

"Well, he did it again! He brought the sun up! And I am thankful to be alive!" And I echo MC's feelings this morning as I realize the sun is coming up earlier each morning to greet those of us who are blessed to be here once again to see it.

So how do those seeds find their way from the darkness into the light~ ~ ~

Just like the rest of us I guess! They have moments of great struggle along with moments of amazing grace and growth! From the darkness into the spectacular light!

Sometimes we have to as my friend Tink says, "just hang out" and wait.

But we must never, never ever give up on HOPE... Always hope, always remember HOPE.

Whether or not we know it; hope is our most constant friend. We would be fooling ourselves if we did not HOPE the journey we are on will take us to a different and better place ~

Read Healing Heartaches? What was a "hopeful one sentence that you found there?

In the hardest of times, hope waits when all else appears to have moved on or moved away. Even then, hope is a light strong enough to allow us to see that we can hold life together. Like a willow in the wind, hope can and often does keep souls from breaking... it provides a lens to see more clearly when our vision is skewed by circumstance or sorrow.

We cannot say anything is hopeless when so much depends on seeing beyond our pain. HOPE is a part of our very soul, our being with it the journey of our very essence through and in life continues.

You may at times feel as though you have lost your way, maybe lost your hope... dig a little deeper, hold on, trust that you have not lost your hope. It is there, hanging on and hanging out~ It is waiting for YOU to return to the dance of life. Waiting for YOU ... just like an old friend.

"If a person loses anything and goes back and looks carefully for it, he/she will find it" {Sitting Bull}

Today I send healing energy across the wind and prayers of strength and hope... and so for that I give thanks, and so it is! Wado...

Walk In Beauty


Healing Heartaches, Stories of Loss and Life

Saturday, February 27, 2010

HOPE IN WINTER~Heaing Heartaches Ways & Thoughts of an Author

Sniffin' For the Beauty In The
Brilliance of Life

Saturday, rainy morning in Florida ~ The four-leggeds are celebrating the wonderment of their morning by running around a "slippery lanai" and have the best morning, as I watch with amusement and coffee once again through the eyes of "oh please don't fall in the pool"!

Ever notice that in the midst of winter and this years "extended and you've over stayed your welcome snow" that nothing is quite as bedraggled and beaten down as the gardens... they show no real promise of tomorrow, only wilted brown and frost-bitten leaves and branches. There is not a hint of color, no greening's to be found. Looks like it will never be different; looks like things will never change... Ah, but the Cherokee knows the difference and sometimes so do others!
Long before the winter, in the seasons of warmth and plantings, we sow the best seeds we can. As tiny and insignificant as they may appear then, they will produce. Just as my friend Tink, she would tell you! When the best is planted with loving care and intention, cared for and watered; the time will come to see the increased, to witness a miracle indeed.

I am beginning to hear from others about these miracles; yesterday I hear that daffodils are greeting folks in the mid-west, poking their tender little heads of promise out through the snow! I am seeing that my Jasmine is saying, "the cold didn't get me, I'm still here, ready to wow you with my fragrance once again, be patient with me".
I'm hearing from others who say, "the purple of the crocus is finding its way through the snow DRSES, and what promise it brings that spring is coming"!
"The butterfly bush made it, spring is on its way".
Now I know it is suppose to be 70 degrees for a butterfly to fly, to find its way... But yesterday, while holding those who have died tragically, suddenly in prayer and ceremony... I was here, right here on the lanai, and the birds were just yapping, seemed to be wanting my attention and it was cold... I looked to the side, and there on the the very side of the Lanai, was ....
A BUTTERFLY.  it was NOT 70 degrees.

Life can and will be restored and renewed. Beauty is all around us; things will change, sometimes we have to stretch to find it, bury our heads deep in the moment the need to smell it, to be at one with it; to want it.
YES, sometimes just as with 9/11, just as with the Tsunami, just as with Haiti... we have to do a media black-out to rest our thoughts, our minds, our hearts.

Sometimes we have to ask/demand/plead with others:
STAND DOWN out of respect and honor.
There are indeed times that it may appear that things will never change... but they will. HAVE FAITH, BELIEVE, HOPE, WANT IT, SEE IT, RECEIVE IT,

Plant your good words, your good memories, plant good seed. Then nurture all, nurture with warmth, with intention, with caring and truth; healing and attention. If you will allow yourself and choose to become a perennial believer and look for the warmth of belief, of friends and sunlight; you will awaken your garden to the season of the green corn. You will see and be the change.
You will experience the brilliance of the world,
the intensity of all that is within you and the colors and sounds in the world.
You will join me in experiencing the amazing grace of the perseverance of the human spirit while dancing in the rain, laughing on the wind, and embracing every moment of this thing we call life.

OK, now for the question...

Did we talk about gardens in Healing Heartaches?
Who is my friend that can design a beautiful landscape and would that he could I would have him/her design a landscape of memories and grief? haha

Wherever you are, whatever you are doing...
Choose to do it well; smile, laugh, sing out loud ~

Know that spring is coming ~

Thanks Tink for planting your seeds with such loving care for the caterpillars and the beautiful butterflies that will enjoy them so much once again this year~

Take Best Care of you.


author of Healing Heartaches, Stories of Loss & Life

Friday, February 26, 2010

Winters Ways, Wanderings, Wonders, Wonderment, Wow,

More Snow ~ More Cold? OH NOOOO
(to someone other than Nana & her Mom!)
Mom? Still no right guesses on COB! heehe
Healing Heartaches ~ folks are lovin' it

Brrr.... cold this morning here in... ah yes, Florida that's where I am, Florida where it is uh... 40 degrees this morning!

Let me begin with the best news of the day... we are moving into the light months, have you noticed? Yep, here comes the light months, those wonderful months that even the birds are rejoicing in here in the cold~ Singing a song that reminds us that indeed spring is coming. I heard from a woman yesterday out west who says her daffodils are peeking their heads out from the snow there, a reminder once again of spring and the promise of warmth!

I am growing weary this morning of the media, of the animal rights groups of all those who are jumping on the "band wagon" regarding the tragedy at SeaWorld and the sudden and tragic death of Dawn. I cannot understand this. I ask all to please "stand down" with your causes, your demands for awhile.
Please step outside of yourself for awhile and know this: a woman has died tragically doing what she had done for years with a magnificent creature that she trained, who she knew as best as humans know beautiful creatures that are from the wild.
Others work with that Orca, others love Dawn, they are like family, they "are family of choice".
They are in shock having been traumatized by this death and need to have time to process this horrific accident.
They need some privacy, some understanding and some space from those who want this Orca set free or killed. They need to be spared the commentaries and thoughts of others who feel that creatures should be set free to the wild, left to their "happy place", and commentaries that speak about "no whales have expressed unhappiness in the wild" (and we know that how?) ~
As one reader commented so eloquently last night, there are no guarantees at amusement parks, at life... We can go there a million times; we can have the best time of our lives 99% of those times and then something terrible might happen, the unthinkable, the unimagined...

But now the news is being saturated with words "killer whale", "investigation", "procedures & policies", "PETA", "animal rights groups".
Individuals and groups are up in arms, are having their says; they are on Twitter, on Facebook, they are all with their thoughts, their demands, their opinions of what is best, what is moral....
I for one, am asking that we be about what is "right, best, and most healing for all those there in shock and dismay secondary to the loss of someone precious in the SeaWorld family", including the beloved Orcas.
Those folks work and live closely together; most eat, laugh, love, pray and play together... have you noticed that not once has anyone asked about their well being? Not once has any group asked if the Orcas' have sensed trouble, loss, grief through the sensory and touch and nervous systems of those around?


Could it be that so many love to "jump on a cause", to "stir in it til it stinks", preferring to see the jar as half empty rather than half full?
Am I on a tear of thoughts here or what?


Healing Heartaches... one beat at a time!

ON a more positive note, I am pleased to know that a reader is so inspired by Nana's girl Olivia that she went out and played in the snow; that she built her first "snow-woman" and but jewelry on her and had a snowball moment too!
On a positive note, I am pleased to know that there is hope in healing, and see healing in comments and the doings of those who comment on this page!

On a wonderfully positive note:
Spring will find its way to all of us
Those reading this today are here; here to once again practice random acts of kindness, do something outside their comfort zone and then feel awesome as a result of that leap!

"Whatever the gains, whatever the loss, they are yours" (Five Wounds)

Wherever you are today, whatever you are doing, may you find beauty around you, may you take the time to smile at someone ~ laugh at something or at yourself, remember to take Best care of you~
And as our reader comments yesterday,
"Remember, every day is a gift, not a guarantee"!

Walk In Beauty

author of
Healing Heartaches, Stories of Loss & Life

Healing Heartaches Inspired Jewelry by Joan

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Healing Heartaches The Book is Waiting For You ~ Tragedy at the Olympics & SeaWorld This Week

Tragedies This Week
Lives Lived with Passion

My heart is heavy this morning, my thoughts are many; too many to gather or to share...

First an Olympian takes to the ice in shock of her Mothers' sudden death secondary to a heart-attack after arriving from her homeland; arriving at the sight of the Olympics to watch her daughter compete on the ice. Her daughter still manages to find her courage and takes the ice, skating for her Mother; somehow knowing that her Mom is watching. She skates with "passion", she does her best, she manages to even smile while maneuvering spins, jumps and twirls ~ Her tears hold off until the very end of her performance. She held the world by their hearts as they watched as they wondered how she could possibly have found her way on the ice; how she could have found the strength to move out of her shock and pain given the trauma she had just witnessed by the sudden and unexpected death of her Mother...
She has passion, she was doing what she loved and she knew her Mother was watching and would be proud!
Many watched and found they had their own grief reactions stirred up; old feelings that rose like the phoenix from the ashes of unresolved pain of loss as they watched; they once again felt their own pain as they connected; they felt the connection, they cried once again, and we were all amazed at the resiliency of one young woman's spirit.
It was her passion, her zest for life, her knowing that her Mother would want her to go on, live your dream!
Yesterday... Tragedy... Witnessed by so many...

Dawn a seasoned trainer at Seaworld, living her passion, a beautiful woman, loving Shamu, loving the Orca Whales, living her passion, her dream...

What in the world happened? How could this be? This beautiful woman, who knew as a child that she would love and train this magnificent creatures that we all flock to SeaWorld to watch, to be captivated by... dead. Just like that, gone from our lives, gone from the whales, from her colleagues, from the adoring people who come from all over the world; some lucky enough to meet her.

I met Dawn last year and she was a lively and beautiful woman, a woman filled with "passion", living "THE DREAM", doing what she knew she would do since the age of 9 years old!
Olivia (OK, who is Olivia readers?) is now 9 years old, she too has passion, she too has dreams of what she hopes, wants and knows ~

When Dawn spoke of the Orca her eyes twinkled, her face became animated with such joy, such love and life! Once knew immediately that she was indeed living the "dream", living and exuding such "passion"!  What a gentle soul; an old soul to be certain and one of "magic", of kindness and of such power for such a little thing! I so enjoyed talking with her; she had such power behind her, such beauty in and around her.
My heart aches for all those who love her, for her whales and for all who will miss her presence and her passion here on earth.
Gone too Soon Dawn, you are gone too soon. So many will miss you; the two leggeds and the swimming-creatures.

Something must have happened... something terrible went wrong... I cannot believe that her beloved whale would have just gone mad, I can't stand it that they call them "killer whales", after all why can't they call them "Orca". Could it be that he "dragged" her into the water to her death, but really wanted her to "play" with him rather than stand on the platform? Could it have been a horrible accident born from the whales love of Dawn? Just a horrible horrible accident ~
She loved her whales, she lived her passion. It does no good to now refer to them as "killers", it does not do her any good; it does not make her passion and her love of her whales stand for the beauty that was hers. People need to respect and honor her and her work, her life, her passion. In doing that we must honor her choices and her whales, her beloved Orca.  Something went terribly wrong yesterday.

"We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop" (Mother Teresa)

We will miss you Dawn, we were honored to have you love the Orca, to play with wild abandon and to encourage us to find and feed and know passion.
Walk In Beauty,

Healing Heartaches Inspired Jewelry By Joan

(bought yours yet?)

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Ways to Promote Healing Heartaches & Thoughts On Grief/Growth/Healing

Ah, But those were the days!
Women from Hospice
Back In The Day!

I read an article yesterday about "blogging"! It said. "the best way to get your blogs read by folks is to have a long title, and the best way to get people to know about your book is to promote it in catchy titles"! SO HOW DID I DO?

Those who have read Healing Heartaches will recognize this photo! Who is the grand dame of Hospice? Who is the author of Final Gifts? Who is the woman who celebrated her birthday yesterday? and... who is the author of Healing Heartaches?
REady.... Set.... go! Isn't this fun?


Just a thought or two for me and you:

I find that if you do searches on the Internet you must use caution as to what you put in for information... I was doing a search on "health insurance" this week, and inserted my zip code and date of birth for information; I repeat information only.  Within hours my phone began blowing up with phone calls from insurance people calling regarding my "inquiry about insurance"! The last one that called took the cake as I answered the phone and said, "Hello, I am not interested in insurance", he said, "then why were you doing a search", I said, "because I can and did not realize it would result in my phone blowing up," HE SAID, "well I HOPE YOU KNOW NOW" (in a snotty voice/tone)... Fireworks went off in my brain, I said, "Do NOT EVEN get an attitude with me my good man, YOU called me remember?  At that point I think we hung up on each other!!! 
MORAL: be cautious when doing Internet searches... how did they get my phone number I wonder? Of course it did not help that this all happened at 0730AM...

And then... I hear from a woman who tells me that she is being treated poorly... that she is amazed at man's inhumanity to man... reason? Greed! Ugliness!  And to her I say:  Karma is a B**ch... and will come round quicker than you can imagine at times like she has described. Set yourself free, keep the faith, keep your head held high... (*who said that?)


The comments from yesterday were wonderful, were interesting, were heartfelt across the winds. COB still has the record comments for one day, and NO... no correct guesses on that yet!

Lily the Black bear and cubbie are doin' great... baby makes the funniest of sounds and vocalizations, hope you have had the opportunity to meet them at


It is amazing at times, how feelings & memories just pop up and overwhelm the senses, leaving us weak in the spirit when least expected. People just going about their lives, not thinking out loud about the pain of loss or struggles they've known, not feeling "out of control", just living their lives the best way they know ~ and then it happens.  Something so strong that leaves humankind feeling weak in the limbs and oh so alone and vulnerable. Finding that once again there feels like control has been lost, feeling again bewildered by tears, thoughts and those old feelings of grief; sometimes reeling out of balance with the world around you.

It is during those times that people may feel once again sequestered and alone in their pain... I have good news this morning:  THESE ARE NORMAL POWERFUL EMOTIONS IN THE JOURNEY OF LIFE!

Rather than perceiving this as a "breakdown" perhaps it is a "break-through" of long held pain; or pain not yet expressed/felt. It may be that the hardest lesson in life to both learn and to accept is the reality that we often have little control of things that touch and affect us in our world.  We can control our reaction to those things though... and so it is good.

Try as we might, there are and will be things that will influence our equilibrium. It would be comforting to think we could control all aspects of our lives, but not realistic... best to settle with mastering your remote control!  You may determine you have the most control in the safety of your home where you can feel somewhat in control of what/who you allow to enter and what you listen to and watch on TV, what you choose to eat and who you choose to talk with on the phone!  Even then there may be times when you long for another to hear your pain or hold your tears or your fears at bay...

We are truly communal by nature, needing others more times than we like to think! By extending your heart and hand to others, your heart and hand become filled by others.  With others you can share your pain and your joys, and receive the many gifts that others hold ready to give.

Remember those random acts of kindness? What act of kindness have you in mind for today?

"It may be that some little root of the sacred tree still lives" (Black Elk)


Wherever you are... whatever you are doing.....................

Be blessed~

Walk In Beauty


Healing Heartaches Inspired Jewelry by Joan

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Mornin' Memories

My Granny: June 3 Born ~ Feb 23
Stepped To The Other Side,
Now Dancing In The Lights

The comments of yesterday were wonderful, uplifting and just came coming! Olivia is almost as tickled as her Mom Joan that her picture was a favorite! And oh how
I love this picture of me & Granny, glad you do too!

Happy Birthday to my hero, who soars like an Eagle up North and works at Mary Washington Hospital... Recently during the snow storm she even stayed there in a patient room over the week-end ... NO she wasn't a patient, she is just that daggone dedicated! She is in Healing Heartaches (alot)  ... Who is she? Be sure and say Happy Birthday to ______ when you comment. Can you imagine? I just knew she would be there, even sent her a text saying, "So, are you in room #302 during the snow storm oh great leader?" haha  Happy Birthday my dear friend! What a woman, what a leader, what a wife, Mother, Friend, daughter and inspiration you are to so many ~


Thoughts on grief and hope and healing this mornin!

Those feelings of grief/loss can awaken priorities . . . make folks think beyond their familiar awareness while forcing us to stand on new and often unfamiliar ground!
There are enormously important things within all of us, things shared and kindred to our souls; family, friends, a love of music, sunny days, thunder/lightning, books (know of any that you particularly love heehe), trees, butterflies, healing rituals and dolphins are but a few that come to mind!

When we are once able to discover what is within, finding our body-mind-spirit connection, we find the ability to connect with ourselves and those in our world differently than ever before. We choose differently than ever thought possible before!
And so it is good... Different but good!

The invisible threads of all that connect us become visible to our hearts, to our thoughts, to our core.  We are able to give without thoughts of return, to offer and provide a way of goodness, and receive more than ever before.
We are responsible for the making of who we are personally and who we want to be. Each of us will hopefully find contentment, will experience awe, find our truths along the path, have our first experience of room service, while participating in our bliss our joys and our happiness.

We are a part of our Elders, a part of the Earth, a part of the Heavens, one with every living thing. Because of this we are reminded that we are alive and that we are capable of giving and receiving love,
if we choose to.

The precious and the dear truth is that we love, have loved and have and are loved!

Although grief has changed life as we knew it, taken us beyond that which was familiar, that which was comfortable and that which we knew and honored as our life... we are different now and we are still capable of love and still loved by those who have died. They are but a heart beat away, still with us always. Oh yes, we will always miss them, always miss those laughs, that touch, and that specialness that no one no one else in the world has... That is why we are each such unique creations remember?

"The Cherokee people stand upon new ground. Let us hope the clouds which overspread the land will be dispersed, and that we shall prosper as we never before have done" (Chief John Ross, Oct. 1861)

Looking like rain here in sunny Florida today! Wishing you rainbows wherever you are and whatever you are doing to make yours the best day possible!  Remember what Granny says,
"Hold your head up high even when your butt is draggin' the ground" haha

Walk In Beauty,

author of

Healing Heartaches, Stories of Loss and Life

Order your exlcusive jewlery by Joan at:

 Lastly, if you live in Apex NC, there is a book club getting ready to kick off called, "Healing Heartaches" at your local Borders! Good job Linda and best wishes to you! You can also now write a review of Healing Heartaches at

that's it!

Monday, February 22, 2010

Monday Morning Mindfulness

Lily The North American Black Bear
And her Baby!

Ready to jump into the week?

Lily and baby are doing great in MN where the temps are 9 degrees!

Tammy Stansell the woman whose benefit was last week is receiving treatment in Texas and doing pretty well last I heard! She loves knowing so many are sending prayers of healing for her.

Jewelry by Joan Inspired by Healing Heartaches is getting wonderful comments! Now let's hope for the brisk sales for her!

Linda in Apex NC is getting ready to start a book club called Healing Heartaches at Borders in her town! Thank you Linda and best wishes... sending you posters this week ~

COB is still COB and no correct guesses there! heehe has had a major face-lift thanks to Gary Sims! The changes are great and many. Please visit me there and see all the changes! Hope you like them and enjoy...

Monday morning, here we come, ready or not! This morning finds me ready to go and be support, calming presence and a driver extraordinaire for a strong woman who has a biopsy scheduled to determine if the lump (*or mountainous thing inside her breast*) is Cancer or not...
I believe as I have said in Healing Heartaches, in therapy sessions and in speaking engagements across the country... the power of positive energy and support is something that can't be beat and is to be engaged whenever possible. So this morning with heads held high we will surround this strong widow, mother and grandmother with all of the above and join her as she goes for this biopsy. I have told her to put on the warpaint and her PMA (Positive Mental Attitude) and she is ready!

I have also gotten some interesting comments and emails, thought I would take a few mindful minutes to share my thoughts on Monday about them:

  1. Some are asking why I would blog so frequently and why in the world I am doing it at no cost...

  2. Some are wondering why I am available to others at no fees in this forum as other authors are not available to people in this way, nor are the famous, the therapists, the ones on the speaking venues

  3. Some are interested in knowing whether I charge for phone sessions and if so then why do I give things away i.e.time and talent through blogs

  4. Some are just plain out thinking I have lost my mind!
So I am wondering here... is it me? Have I lost sense of what I am to be doing as an author, a therapist, a speaker on issues of hope/healing/loss/grief/compassion fatigue? Should I be making myself more of a person that no one hears from, someone that is more of a name behind the book rather than the woman who is the book?

Am I to be illusive, out of contact, unavailable?

I do believe there is a lot of truth to the saying, "if you give it away people will assume it has no value", but is it necessary to keep thoughts alone to oneself when they may help another in our circle of life and connections?

Ah, yes I know the rich and famous are hard to connect with, are hard to contact and harder yet to get an autograph from (God knows I try on a regular basis to get autographs for the boys!). But must it be that way? Aren't the fans the ones who actually helped them to achieve those very status' through their admiration and care of them?

Is it me?

The healing ways are often shared best through stories, through caring and desire to let others be empowered to find their own path... stories that take time to share, time to care and time to nurture... does that pay ones' bills? NO. Ratz!!!

I do not know what other authors do, I know I tried and tried to contact a couple of them when writing Healing Heartaches to no avail... I have since stopped trying, but I have also stopped recommending their books too!

My point of these thoughts you are wondering?

I don't take Tylenol for anyone's fever but my own!

This blog is my thoughts, not a therapy page... I do believe that in these thoughts some have found their healing paths that they may have otherwise not found and for that I give thanks... and so it is! And it is good.

Healing Heartaches, Stories of Loss & Life is touching hearts, coffee cups are empty and souls are filled and krumpled kleeenexes are on the tables! Life is good, no... Life is precious, life is great, I am blessed.

Just one year ago on the 16Th of February I was in the hospital and almost didn't get out... since then Healing Heartaches has become a reality; folks are loving it, I am no longer working for hospice after many many moons... I am re-entering the speakers circuit, seeing private clients and loving each breath, each fragrance each kiss from the wind ~~~~

So keep those emails, those comments and those ideas coming folks! I look forward to the reads and have even gone back on the blogs and found that some post after the fact! That's OK too...

Thank you for spreading the words of this blogspot and of Healing Heartaches, Stories of Loss & Life to all who will listen... You never know, bestsellers list here we come.

Practice those moments of purposeful mindfulness... Just b-r-e-a-t-h-e and then take one step at a time ~ ~

Blessings to you and those you love~

Walk In Beauty


Healing Heartaches, Stories of Loss & Life

Sunday, February 21, 2010


Healing Heartaches Inspired!
Jewelry by Joan

Just sitting here thinking of all life's blessings, all those who are doing such wonderful things since Healing Heartaches came to them... Joan is out there being inspired and creating beautiful jewelry!
A woman in NC has finally found her healing pathway through beginning a book club at her local Borders and calling it, "Healing Heartaches"! She has let me know that the manager is possibly going to stock the shelves there as well, and wanting posters to put up! Well Linda, the posters for Healing Heartaches are on their way to you this week, and I wish you much success and am so happy that you have found your healing ways, your path... if Healing Heartaches had something to do with that, I am honored. Walk In Beauty in all that you are!
Sometimes it comes over us like a burst of light, a moment of magic, a ray of hope... it is during those special times that many realize some important facts.
There are special places in our lives that live on in and with us forever (sounds like a kitchen table for many!). Just by allowing ourselves to find and to go to those special places and hold memories tender make them alive within us, make us believe in the power of us again, allow us to dream, give us strength to be all that we dare.
It is then that we know we can "defy gravity" we will fail to fall and fail to fail!
We can feel the wetness of the purifying rains/snows and the comfort of the warmth of the sun (c'mon sun, warm us now); we catch fragrances that are familiar and soothing and bring us comfort.
Music may remind us of happier times; better times, it may soothe our soul or shake our very core making us dance like no one is watching and not really care if they are!
Certain foods may trigger memories, or we may create new ones as we savor those foods on our tongue finding comfort and joy with each bite as our taste buds delight along with us!
WE can remember, why in the world would we ever want to forget or lose those cherished and special memories, feelings or relationships...
The memories of loved ones will continue to influence our lives, our thoughts about the world and those who treated or cared for them at the end of their lives. We will remember how we were treated after their deaths, the support we did or didn't receive...  The most important thing to remember about that is: YOU ARE A SURVIVOR and may have survived in spite of how you were treated~

Many feel out of control where death/illness is concerned. Heaven knows we do not like feeling out of control of anything! Just ask someone who has to relinquish a remote control for an evening... ask someone who is without their car and stuck at home for a day... we like control, we need control. Illness and death take those controls away; feelings of loss and grief are feelings that sometimes leave us like a helpless child with no control and that is a hard one to cope with.
We can however control our feelings, our thoughts and how we react to most situations and thoughts. We may control choose what memories we keep and what memories we choose to let go of.
We may not be able to "see the wind", "see the best smelling flower", BUT we can feel it, we can smell it, we can call it to us at will. WE can do these things ~ ~ ~

Grief is challenging, and it painful, it is one of the hardest journey's you will ever take. It will challenge you to find and creative ways to heal, to restore and to find balance, beauty, and to re-invest in life differently than ever before while holding dear those things that are precious. We must assume responsibility of continuing the relationships with loved ones in a healthy, healing way. Our memories are their legacy, talk about them, say their name! Our lives are to be lived to the fullest, striving for bursts of sunshine, happiness, hope, dancing, laughing, and time for honoring and remembering!

Walk In Beauty

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Kitchen Table Insight ~ Last thoughts

"I know they are important movie people... but here they were at my kitchen table waiting for food they had just discovered" {Shirley Maclaine}

Happy Saturday thoughts to one and all! The chill still fills the air in sunny Florida this morning. No new heart stops with the four-leggeds falling in the pool.

Kamryn is A-OK say the cardiologist and for that we are filled with gratitude that the next Michael Jordon is shootin' the hoop and enjoying each day and running wild on most of them!

Lily and cubbie are doing quite well, her fan page is now over 80,000 and there are some wonderful shots of the little one that have been caught on film.

Kitchen table Insight has been a wonderful week of thoughts and memories not only for me, but for readers as well. Those who do not comment here have emailed with their thoughts about the blogs. The results have at times been painful for people, but quite positive. Allowing and triggering those kitchen table memories and experiences to flow once again in our minds and hearts, prompting phone calls to others out of the blue that sound like this:
"Hi, do you remember that year in 1963 when we all got together.... yes, what do you mean you don't remember, I was wearing red and Madras plaid and Mommie was cooking lasagna and then the curtains in the kitchen caught on fire, remember now???"


Memories, conversations around the kitchen, in the kitchen ~ some bitter-sweet like dark chocolate (good for heart health), painful-loveliness...

It may be good to sit at that table again, even if alone and read a good book, ah... I have one in mind! I heard from a treasured heart who tells me that she has read Healing Heartaches 10, can you say {10} times!!!  And no, I didn't pay her to do it, nor did I offer her free stuff to say it!

Oh, almost forgot, still no correct answers on why Mom is called COB.

And as we close these thoughts on kitchen table insight I hope you will remember to always keep what is worth keeping... and just like picking up sand on a beautiful white/pink sand beach, hold it in your hand, feel its warmth and then sift it in your hand. Keep what is worth keeping and let the rest go... go on, just let it go, it is not worth keeping bottled up, stuffed inside any longer if it does not serve you well.


"I'll tell you I was sitting at the kitchen table and the only one I could tell it to was the three dogs" (Keith Selix)
Keith Selix is an 81 year old man living in Waterloo Iowa. His wife died in 2005 leaving him alone with his three dogs, and Keith has always been a man who loved playing the lottery! His wife used to scold him he said, telling him he was "wasting money on those cotton-picking lottery tickets". After Mrs. Selix's death it seems his luck remarkably has changed and now he has hit the lottery not once but THREE times since her death... so as he sat at the kitchen table on the third time, he was telling who?  The dogs "look here, we've done it again and I had a better odds of being struck by lightning"!
True story, I did not make it up!!!  Guess she figured he needed to make some house repairs since she was not there with him, or that since he was still playing she might as well help him to win! Angels have a way to watch over us ~

OK, ready for the exciting news? News that I bet Granny is just proud as she can be about? Granny loved, did I mention Granny loved jewelry?

Now you can go to ETSY.COM and see and buy your own exclusive Healing Heartaches Inspired Jewelry by Joan (she and Olivia are in Healing Heartaches).
Joan is now selling her very own designs on ETSY.COM after we talked about what stones would represent the healing-ways and best represent Healing Heartaches! Check back often as there will be additions. Each piece unique, each made with thoughts of the messages and hopes expressed by Healing Heartaches ~

So click on the above link and save it as a favorite... I think you will love it!

Have a great week-end, take best care of you!

Walk In Beauty


Healing Heartaches, Stories of Loss & Life

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