They Call Themselves,
Family of "Choice"
Wednesday morning! Good morning world, He/She is doing it again folks... Here comes the sun...
NEws FLASH FROM TARPON SPRINGS FL. LAST PM:
Tarpon Springs is reeling this morning after a local woman has killed a co-worker in a local Publix store after being fired from her job at Publix... how could this happen we all wonder... How could a young dedicated father end up dead at the hands of a young woman, another dedicated worker who had threatened him verbally, insulted him, and was overheard saying she would kill someone if she was fired from her job, and she was. She returned and ultimately killed a young father; then went up and down isles attempting to kill shoppers, wounded a police officer and is now in critical care after being shot by an officer and was bay-flighted to Tampa... WHAT??? how could this be? Tarpon Springs is in shock as are the regular shoppers in the area who knew them both... so very sad.\\\ so scary....
I was thinkin as I listen to my spring time pals chirping their songs of greeting, "Thank You for the many blessings" about the wonderful "Family of Choice" I have come to know through the many years ~
31st Day of March... wow, where did this month go? I was watching the news and heard words, Passover, Easter... and realized... OH my... where did this month run to... and the 4 leggeds heard the thought! There they go, around the pool, chasing the squirrel that crawls in the tree barking at them, celebrating their morning, as the birds chime in...
S T O M P
S T O M P
GOOD MORNING EVERYONE
Seems like yesterday... we were talking about Thanksgiving... and here I sit waiting for spring 2010!
ah, great coffee this morning, my dear friend Laura is ready to start her birthday morning ~ Happy Happy Birthday dear Laura, so happy you are "family of choice", hope your celebration of you is splendid...
CHRIS, JILLY, DENISE, CINDY, JIM, DENI, JOE, JEREMY, JEANNE, TONYA, and all the others... WARPAINT ON... ANGELS ARE ROCKING AND READY TO WRAP YOU IN THE ARMS OF PRAYERS AND LOVE, THE BEAR CLAN ALONG WITH LILY THE BLACK BEAR AND HOPE ARE COOING AND PROTECTING YOU ON THE PATH TO STRENGTH ~ WE ARE UNITED WITH YOU... ALWAYS...
WEARING YOUR COLORS ~
Unfortunately not everyone has biological family in their life. Sometimes this is indeed because our loved ones have gone before us, sometimes this is because family is far away and we are not in frequent contact. And, sadly, some of us have family we are purposefully distant with. The often used expression “Dysfunctional” comes to mind. Some will tell you that they are the "fun"in the dys ctionional part of their family! Isn't that funny?
We would all like to think that just because we are blood relatives, we share important connections. This may be true, and indeed even the most twisted family members may be our own.
We honor them for the connection, but may not celebrate what they bring to the table. Somehow things changed, they changed; we changed, they may not bring the joy, the love, the same things we "stand for", or the same appreciation we have for life, love and tradition, or laughter...
Crazy uncle/aunt/cousin/niece/nephew? Unloving brother/sister? Emotionally abusive parent/grandparent? Physically abusive spouse or history of one?
Emotional baggage so heavy you refer to it as "samsonsite lugguage"?
I hope not, but I know of families that come together every holiday, and ruin it for each other. Biological families that dread the time they spend together simply because they treat each other so badly.
Sometimes it's just because they really don’t like each other. You know I don’t say this lightly.
I have great respect or families but I do not delude myself into thinking that every family member adds value to our life. I'm all about "family systems" I am an advocate of them myself! BUT, as most through the years and through this blog know . . . I do keep it real.
There are times when I have honestly just asked the question, "If this was not a family member would you want to go and have dinner with them"? I was not surprised to hear the answer of "Are you kidding me, NO I would never go and voluntarily have dinner or coffee if it wasn't a family obligation". However, most would have trouble honestly saying that for fear of what others would think of them... for fear of guilt, remorse, regret later on...
Keeping in mind that this is not all families, but dynamics do play a key role in some families, and definatley in many families when it comes to illness, dying death and bereavement... just think about that... or as the Cherokee say, "sit with it" for awhile, reflect on it if you will.
What to do about this? There are many and most times that situations like these are not ours "to do anything about! We may witness or hear stories, but it is not ours to judge nor to do with...
I believe that our “Family of Choice” can be a precious, hand picked group of loved ones that we select to share our lives with. Imagine if you could put together the “perfect” family. Screen out the mean drunks, the hateful, spiteful, critical, unloving ones that ruin our holidays, and create our own families. Well, we can and do. My beautiful Mom has her own "family of choice" too, through the years she has cultivate and maintained that "family of choice" throughout my lifetime.. Precious, special; she would take a bullet for Lavie, Jerry, Sue, Linda, O, Paul, Jimmy, Millie, and for others; she would stand for Lavie against the world... She would and she has that's what those two do... Guess that's just how we roll ~ us Cherokee, that's what Granny taught us, how to live well, and to love deeply, but to watch and to pick carefully within our heart space...
For those who find themselves without family; and/or for those whose families are the relatives from hell. We all now those right? Just keepin it real! I guess some never extend to others but I cannot imagine that, and think I have even blogged about it before and it is probably in Healing Heartaches too! But for those who do not wish to be alone, finding friends, growing them into "a family:" seems to make sense to me!
To gather friends into a sacred circle, some may even call them into "extended family . . .
we gather to ourselves, this special and wonderful idea of “Family of Choice”. Treasure these special compilations of love. Devote your energy to celebrating holidays with the family we choose. Treat them the way we wish our family could be, or replace the family we don’t have with this special gift we created that we call “Family of Choice.”
We are only alone and lonely if we make that our reality. Imagine a family made up of faithful and loving friends. Does it get any better than that?
Even for those of us that have a good or great or OUTSTANDING, BEAUTIFUL biological family, we can still add to the mix, our family of choice. Include someone in your family that may not have one of their own.
Create, or re-create or "ex-tend" your “family.” Gift those you love with family connections. Your life will be richer, and the lives of those you choose to surround yourself with will too be blessed. Oh my, the memories I have as I sit here of so many gathered around Granny's kitchen table; having a blessingway and holding hands, going around that table, into the living room, around into the hall, and back again into that warm and smell good kitchen hands joined together . . . people everywhere...
Now that was kinship, extended family, great food, laughter filled the air; kids running in and out... Amazing grace, fluidity in motion ~ Emotion is motion ~
Can I get an "Amen" a "what=what" a,
"Thank YOu Granny"
a "STAND UP AND CELEBRATE YOU AND SAY "YES"
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
whew, that felt great, thanks!
I have a both a biological family, and a “Family of Choice.” I am doubly blessed. Wow, I feel a great day coming on... How bout' let's stretch into it... ready?
SIT UP STRAIGHT
OK, LET'S GO
LOOK TO SKY
NOW ROLL YOUR HEAD SLOWLY TO RIGHT
AWWW THAT'S IT R O O L
WAAAY BACK LOOOOK UP AT CEILING FEEEL IT
GOOOD NOW SLOWLY BACK TO CENTER
NOW SLOWLY LOOK DOWN
OK SLOWLY COME ON BACK UP TO SCREEN
LOOOK LEFT SLOOOWLY
GOOD BACCK TO CENTER
SHRUG SHOULDERS UP TO EARS AND HOLD
(*I DONT KNOW UP UP TO EARS)
FEET ON FLOOR?
DO 5 TIMES!
(I DOIN IT WITH YOU NOT WAITING(
LA LA LA
RAISE ARMS IN AIR
S T O M P
S T O M P
YOU ARE WONDERFUL
YOU ARE GREAT
GO AND HAVE SUPER DAY
YOU ARE WARRIOR
Lily Black bear and HOPE now have more than 94,000 fans on facebook!!!
Awesome aren't they? BUT they are now taking little outings which is making all the humans watching nutz I tell ya, just nutz... LOL...
Blessing to each of you and those you love.
Andrea is headed to New England to spend time with her Dad, Family and many friends, the traditional and time honored pow-wow around the kitchen table will be happening soon ~ with angels watching and up to tricks to be certain ...
Talked to a woman yesterday who told me a funny thing she saw on her facebook post: it read "I don't seek revenge cos' as I see it Karma is a bigger bitch than I could ever be"...
Sending prayers of strength and healing ways to several who are fighting CANCER, undergoing treatments; have assured them that this page is filled with others who "get it" and who will put on their warpaint and join with them... Send your energy, they will know who it is from.
Joan, know that it will be alright, have many working on sending you what you need, faith hope and prayers.
CHRIS, NO VACUUMING, NO LIFTING ANYTHING HEAVIER THAN A FEATHER!
The fire is burning and the embers are red hot, from the smoke the messages are on the wind to those who need and those who want the message, and you know what it is... It is yours.
Healing Heartaches, Stories of Loss and Life
Available at Amazon, Borders and Infinity Publishing BBOTW.COM
Stop for a moment and make a short list of who you consider your family of choice.
Treat this family tenderly, contribute only good, loving, and caring energy. Protect it fiercely. Give the best of yourself to it. You will be so glad that you have