Grief can be a medicine...

"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief... and unspeakable love." 

~ Washington Irving ~
Oh

those krumpled kleenex

and

sitting at the kitchen table.

Alone or with a trusted friend,

those

"grief triggers"

will get pulled

and

activated

and

whether we like it or not

that

grief "thang" will creep in

at times when you least expect it.

I can tell that

my thoughts the other day

have activated the trigger

in many here,

and

for many who do not comment

but read often and re-read as well.

Yes

grief is an "opportunist"

and drinks from our well of

resources and energy

from time to time.

Often leaving us exhausted

and

grumpy, worn out, or sad

or just plain out

depleted along the path.

More often than not

and

according to research

people will heal in spite of clinical interventions

although many benefit greatly from therapists

and

many will at times

come to the conclusion

that it becomes a choice made to

re-join the dance of life

or be stuck in the darkness of pain.

Seems everyone

related quite well

to this humor

and very real

thought:

That grief,

and its way of

being and showing

itself.

And

at times

we just have to "sit with it"

and

allow the tears to fall

and the trail of grief

to take us through the path once again,

or perhaps differently

now that we've had some time;

have felt the reality of missing

that many label "yearning and searching"

in texts and literature and counseling.

MIssing is missing

and it is something that has yet to be defined

in its completeness

but certainly felt

by those who feel it deeply.

The

pain of loss one goes through takes a tremendous toll on the spirit, the fabric of life of the person grieving and those still here

who also love and bear witness.

and

it may be helpful to acknowledge it and

to recognize that somewhere along the line

we have been given words

and those words are

"powerful"

and often do not fit

what we are feeling

in times of mourning loss

or

absorbing the realities of death

and

its impact.

We've been conditioned and taught that

"I know just how you feel"

or

"you'll get over it in time"

we've been told

"don't dwell in the past"

we've been encouraged to

come to

"acceptance"

to

"find closure"

and

to

"move on"

><

Sometimes there are just no words...

Words are powerful instruments that give a command to our brain,

but do not make sense always to the heart.

It just may be we need new words,

to adjust to what is now

our meaning systems

incorporating the pain of loss

and

the reality

that

"hearts that are connected in life cannot be separated by death, as death is not that powerful".

However,

labels are the rage,

pathology is confused with reality and the complications of grief are reality

for each who experiences profound loss

of something or someone they love.

Meaning systems are shaken,

the very foundations that we build lives on are felt to be in a state of dis-equilibrium.

And

our systems are thrown into crisis,

added to the words of so many.

It is no wonder people do not fully grasp the reality of loss for so long,

they are too busy trying to find their grasp and understanding of all the words being said to them and to figure out how to apply them now that their world is out of balance.

Denial

Anger

Bargaining

Depression

Acceptance

...

Resilience

Recovery

Chronic Dysfunction

Delayed Grief or Trauma

Reconciliation

Pathological Mourning

Getting Over It

Moving On

Closure

Letting GO

....

Words, definitions, explanations, theories and postulations

on human experiences and emotions

can be challenging,

can be upsetting

can be plain out off the mark.

Sometimes we don't want to "let go", wonder about words like "closure", "moving on", "getting over it".

Quite odd the expressions we have been thought to be helpful don't you think?

Letting go implies to release, and hearts that are connected never really let go of love do they?

We must use our brain and our bodies, hearts, souls to connect to the words that we are hearing and saying

in relation to our lives, our losses

in order

to heal.

At times we must try to keep our hearts above our heads, so that we are not rationalizing to the point of confusion, not trying to filter the educated ideas from the beats of the heart, or the many opinions of so many on how we should feel, think or speed at which we should be finished with grief work.

"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?" 

 ~ Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931) ~

The existence of

"complicated grief" is now being talked about, being discussed and is a current debate in the field of those in the professions and academia.

I think that all grief is and comes with

complications.

It certainly is not what I would call "easy", "normal", or a "walk in the park".

Not for the one grieving, nor for the helping professional who bears witness to the stories of such loss, trauma, pain.

Each in their own, the worst for the one going through it.

Particularly for the one who is grieving.

It is a personal journey,

one that is different each and every time loss is involved dependent upon the love, the relationship, the unfinished business,

the age, the type of kinship shared,

and

the imprint that is left to be honored and remembered.

I also think that we need new words, more than we need a new diagnostic manual;

words that speak loudly

to the

opportunist that grief is;

and

those times when sadness and missing

hit home and hit hard.

Times when you just wish you could spend an afternoon together, or share another precious event or laugh or seek council with

or just "be".

Feelings and profound thoughts on

loss and grief are not new, they have been thought about and felt since the beginnings of time.

I found this remarkable quote

and so very true

if only we can instill it and believe:

"Grief is itself a medicine".

 ~William Cowper (1731-1800) ~

{wado}

Just as music is the Universal language,

it soothes in ways that nothing ever will,

so is grief itself a medicine to wounds never imagined.

So as you give yourself permission for those times when that opportunist called

"grief" comes to pay a visit,

allow it to be medicine

to soothe your soul,

allow yourself time to feel, to be one with it,

as you lean in to those times and memories.

You may even dance with that thing called grief, sit with it a while,

then

STAND

with

Faith

HOPE

Clarity

Knowing that you have loved and been loved.

Say the name of the one you love

while sharing them with everyone you see!

And yes,

there are times

when you would just about give anything

to see them again, you will miss them being here, want to pick up the phone to share your day, to ask a question, to hear their voice.

That is true, it is not a flaw in you.

It does not indicate pathological mourning.

Look for those signs, those messages, for the wonderment that is still here,

 pay attention

they are everywhere YOU are.

Love never dies.

Walk in Beauty,

DRSES

"keepin it real"

www.sherryeshowalter.com

Grief can be sneaky...

Within great finds of beauty, great moments of sun, the rain can be seen from the distance... as we watch it can come rushing toward us, so quickly that before we blink we feel it... at times pelting our skin as we look up still seeing the bluest of skies, yet feel the rain stinging our skin. Grief can take us by surprise that way; those sudden resurgences of grief in all its sting,...
Thinking this morning about grief, and the many ways grief finds its way to us. Sometimes strong and head on... and then again sometimes subtle, coming on in little ways, but there are times that grief catches us by complete surprise, "sneaky grief" at times!

Health care providers, hospice workers, mental health professionalsthose who work with patients and families are always working and walking with loss and grief issues... they are the ones that I love talking with at seminars, at keynotes. Sometimes they too "don't know what they don't know"... they are so very busy, doing more with less these days, but make no mistake, they too are warriors walking with cumulative loss and grief. Members of communities that sit with each other at kitchen tables, those called from a distance to come, after a sudden or tragic death has altered life forever, suddenly making arrangements to get in cars, on planes and be there, finding strength wherever they can to do whatever they may be called upon to do. Others may just open their mouths and stand amazed at what falls out. 

Funny how we forget, we are spiritual beings having a human experience, and grieve, love, deeply!
HUMAN~

The morning here looks like rain the birds are singing though, but it is tricky, maybe the sun will shine, so many possibles... don't you just love that? oh my where was I... oh yes, SNEAKY GRIEF! LOL

Grief Can Be Sneaky

Let’s talk about that sly little thief of joy we call grief. It can sneak up on us when we least expect it. Someone uses an expression that was a favorite of our loved one and we suddenly find ourselves undone.We see a new dance, feel our feet moving just a certain way, and remember a time when...
We hear a favorite song, or a ballad that holds special memories and we feel tears dribbling down our cheeks. We look at a picture, or find an old shirt in the back of the closet, finding that we just have to put it on and we remember a time. We are, long after we think our grief work is done at a festive gathering and feel absolutely bereft in the wink of an eye it hits us... Alone. Surrounded by useless frivolity, now what? Where is that hole we desperately want to seek refuge in and how did it get so loud and happy around us?
 We are suddenly so sad, so utterly and absolutely isolated from everyone.
That my friends is grief at it’s finest. Yep, grief may even make us think we have “lost it altogether.
That we will never fully heal. That we will be at it’s mercy forever. Not true.

After all,  after the death of our loved one, and indeed for some undetermined time afterward, the people that know us well, and care about us, give us some time and space to honestly grieve.Well sometimes they do anyway, if not absorbed in their own pain, their own story.

But later, when even WE think we are over the hurdle, have come to terms with our loss, have found our balance and have even rediscovered some joy. When we least expect it. Just like turning our back on the incoming tide of the ocean, we feel as though we are eating sand.Ever had that happen? Afraid to talk about it? Think folks, family, friends, your therapist will think less of you... 

Not a break down, well, maybe a melt down, but we find we are right back at that awful place where our grief is somehow raw again.



Does it ever end? Yes and No.
We are never “over it”, we get through it. With time and work, we GET THROUGH IT, "who you are is not who you've been and you can't go back there again", remember reading that? We are not the same person we once were.
Loss and Grief changes us forever. BUT, although our loved one died, our relationship with them lives on forever... Hearts that are connected in life, cannot be separated in death... death is not that strong!

 It makes us wiser in some ways, but we are different now.
Our lives are changed. We have lost someone special, something treasured and irreplaceable, someone no one can or not time will ever again replace.The task is learning how to walk with that, learn to absorb it, to live differently while holding that and them into the next steps honoring their lives keeping memories alive, saying their name...
That is as it should be. Our relationships are not interchangeable.
Had we not loved, truly loved that special person in such a unique way, we would have no need to mourn them. We would simply forget them and move o

There are times when just the opposite of the sneak attack of grief rears it’s ugly head too. An anniversary or birthday approaches and we are agonizing over the impending date.
We just know it will be beyond bearable. The date arrives and we cannot this time shed a tear. 
Somehow, all the "horribe-izing" is for naught.
We fondly remember the date, our loved one, our loss, and “nothing.” No tears, no heart wrenching suffering. We sit with it. Amazed.At times it seems best to say hello to it, to honor it for what it is, to walk with it differently than ever before while realizing we will always "miss" those we have loved here in real time no matter what us helping professionals might convey about that word so hated called "closure".
Why close something that remains alive and beating within a heart differently? One closes a bank account, a door, their mouths.

Grief is tricky like that too. It’s unpredictable, and very predictable at the same time. There are times when we defy all the best of the best textbooks written, mystify it seems those in the helping professions while boggling our very own minds. It is unique, it is color blind and age defiant...



Others warn us of what to expect, and maybe it works the way they said, and sometimes it doesn’t.
Grief is not logical. Grief runs the gambit. It can be anticipatory, with a calm let down, at the time of the actual event or prior to the event that changes our life and the way we view life for the rest of our lives. It can be sudden and set us spinning, delaying grief for months or years as we are numbed to the point of feeling insane when we feel at all.

We can see ourselves pulling it off like Jackie Kennedy so long ago, and find that we have turned into a weeping, blubbering mess. It can be perceived as resolved, only to churn itself up when we least expect it.
 It is an arduous journey.
Healing is the destination, and in due time it will come.
 It will not be rushed. It may not be the way we anticipate it to be.


So what do we do. How do we get our head around this tricky, sneaky experience?

Accept that while we can impact the experience, we can not control the entire journey. Some of it we just have to roll with.
 Know that we will be surprised by our own reactions sometimes.
Accept that our hearts work at there own pace.
This is not a mind over matter issue.
It is an issue of the heart, mind, body, spirit.
It is a healing journey that paces itself. it may be best traveled with a companion, a therapist skilled in grief issues.
Once we stop trying to anticipate every reaction, stop trying to “get control” of it, and allow ourselves to adapt to it’s rhythm, we will find it settles somewhere in our heart more softly, over time.



When the time is right, and it is different for each of us, we may be able to look at that old photograph, hear that sweet special song, and smile instead of cry. We will at some point, purposely call up all our favorite memories of our loved one and bask in them




It will not happen because we insist, it may not be in any particular point in time, but it will come. When our hearts are ready, the pain will diminish. The memories will comfort us not torture us. Give yourself all the time you need.



Embrace YOU, your life one step at a time. Honor your loved one in a million ways.
Allow others to comfort you when you desire it, make time for you.
Time to do your grief work, time to heal. Know that it is a journey, and let that sneaky, perpetrator of grief do it’s thing, let sneaky grief know that you do not fear its presence, be not afraid.
At some point in time, you will feel more whole again. Ready to rejoin the spontaneity you once enjoy ~ You can have balance when grief shows up~
There is balance and mind-body-spirit connections; balance that sneaky grief with times of laughter, memories that sustain, honor memories with being the legacy and doing great things here with mindful purpose.

Walk in beauty,
DRSES

Birthdays, watching change; Happy birthday D'Vante Edwards

Yes, today Godson D'Vante is having another birthday... the years have managed to run by from once sitting at my table with the innocence of a babe, happy happy little guy to this day when he turns the age of >19 < 
Happy Birthday Godson! Neil Armstrong was born on Aug 5, Chris Reeves as well ~
 Marilyn Monroe died on Aug 5... and so much more I am sure.
 D'Vante was born ... maybe I need to send him to the moon? Our thing was "love you to Pluto" so you can only imagine we were crushed when someone decided to take Pluto away... maybe that is really when our relationship began to shift, distance or change... It's someone in NASA's fault. Bring back Pluto!
Destined I think to be a lawyer, that boy has always loved to argue or have the last word... seems like a career carved out I always have thought!

Sure do miss those years where joy filled you, when you loved every little pleasure as most if not all little ones do... from sunsets to finding shells on the beach or bubbles were just the neatest thing in the world. Troubles were something that never enters the mind of the youngsters, decisions involved peanut butter and jelly and whether to cut the sandwich into 4 squares or on an angle. Stories were always told to the delight and wide eyed wonder whether face to face or by phone, listened to with "awe" moments as children grow and use the golden rule to establish their own minds, values, rules to live by. Respect has been earned, trust established as fun times usually continue through life with wonder... as we watch hopefully the eaglet spread its wings and soar to heights we can only dream about...

  We look up or blink our eyes as the years shock us, the shoe size grows the heights soar... no longer the little ones, but growing bodies as brains develop and hormones surge, opinions form and teen years grow into the "know it all do it all see it all" behaviors of youth. The close bonds that once were become distant texts, photos shared and at times we wonder where did that person go... they are falling out of the nest quicker than we can watch or place them back in to continue the lessons as we teach, develop patience and they continue to want to soar into their size, their peers, their future.

Birthdays come/go, the used to be gifts of Toy Story men, those affordable things once that delighted are no longer affordable and attainable; the wish lists now are of things that money is made of thanks to the mainstream media and big rappers/celebrities and high style living dreams. The disappointments are higher than the realities of life, a card sometimes falls short of wishes on a day, the amazement and the shock of the world along with fears are enough to baffle the brain.

Yet youth is "invisible" as the mind continues to grow, mood swings are better than the fastest swing set ever or the scariest roller coaster to be enjoyed, youth sweet youth. I remember you! But the stakes were not so high back then, the safety around us seemed a normal way of life back then. IT Was a normal world then.

Now ? Not so much so. We have to worry, wonder, pray that our youth will outlive their antics, their invincible times with friends, peers, as they celebrate, as they gather, as they make their mistakes and choices. As they distance from those they know they can trust and distance from family to develop into self.

   We pray they don't get "played", pulled into something they cannot get out of, that they pick wisely, that they feed the right wolf. We hope they live the life they were taught in fundamental thought, respect, honor and integrity. We hope for them a life better than we have had, we build the foundation for them, while knowing it is up to them to build their own house on that very foundation. We can guide if they let us, but we cannot do it for them or then we become enablers, and that will not work out in the long run for them or for us.

We celebrate their victories, we mourn their downfalls...  we wish for them all the best, all the joys, we hope as hard as we can ... we pray they will work the plan.

 We want birthday's to be awesome while knowing that there will come a point that "we are not" the birthday magic, the friends are! From celebrations and cakes, shiny packages... we become a card that they hope has green stuff to fall out upon the opening. They hope to get it over quick, a hug and out the door where the real party begins, as we pray there will be no drinking or drugging and the right choices will be made. Life begins a new year in a new light... Birthday's and the reflection of a life to date, memories ... times spent, words actions, dreams of futures.... and all that jazz.

 Memories are good to hold onto, as sometimes they are all that we have in the current times that we want to see, times of Donald Duck flexing a little boney feather vs. D'Vante and his "guns" in Disney. Times of letting him drive a Lexus on a country road when he was maybe 11 and feeling like he owned the world...  times of meeting at the airport when he was two, rushing to see me, me to him, both of us landing in the floor with sheer joy, giggles, hugs him on top of me, soooo happy to be together once again.  Those are the times that fill the soul on this 19th birthday, when the soon to be man has now moved in to the body of the gentle one that was once known to the heart ...
so long ago... to one who likes to fish, who is solitary in thoughts... to one who is and has changed .... from the days of snuggles, to a mighty fierce football player, to someone who seldom has contact he has flown, now a young man who is doing his thing

 Today he celebrates his birthday; his friends I am sure have celebrated him this past weekend, will celebrate him this week. 
He is now 19, he lets us know since the big 18 he is "now grown". May the year be wonderful for him, may the rules, responsibilities, resplendent love of life be his. Once a Godson, always a Godson, may he know the love.

From that cuteness of him in the beginning of this blog, to his now favored Facebook picture that I "hate"... 

 Happy Birthday Godson. May the wisdom of this birthday seep into your brain allowing you to be more than this picture.
 “You're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting,
So... get on your way!”[Dr. Seuss]

Phillip (one of D'Vante's friends Dad) and a happy D'Vante in Florida! they just had to pick on a little crab... guess Hunter the fisherman took that picture. NOW that is a great profile picture for the Godson, along with many a thousand I have taken over the years with shine in his eyes and his body looking as though he is alive....


Happy Birthday to all of the August ones ...

As we move into this month, and for my Godson's birthday brain a quote of MLK today:

Walk in beauty,
DRSES

Prayers goin UP, going strong for all, today in all ways

Wishing you a peaceful day, a day of sun filled beauty, prayers on the wind as you move into your day with gratitude, grace, great memories that sustain knowing that change is the most constant thing we know....

 "To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often".  Winston Churchill


The sage is filling the air, the fire is burning;
For:

DLB, Dot/COB/Mom, Angela, Kamryn Elijah, D'Vante, Olivia, Joan,  Linda McDonald, Laura, Mitch, Eileen, Audrey, Anne, Patti R., Pat, Stephen, Matthew, Jane, Walter, Jen, Snoop, Erik, Shari Taylor Webster, Stephen Bright and family, Gayle, Chris W., Penni,
Elizabeth Gardiner Myers, her beloved sister-in-law and family,  little Rylie, Jan, Charlie, Eagan,  John D, John S., Kurt, Kendra, Matt, Stoney, Regina, Suz, Corby, TK, Ericka, Louise, Tommy, Joan, Bob, Fluff, Scott, The Korabek/Shram tribe, AnneMary, Shirley, Karen, Lori, Tanya,  Kendra, Kurt, Joan, Jack, Tom, Chris, Sabian, Rus, Stan, Greg, Scott, Christian, Mike, Richy, Areila, Penny, Ford, Bob, Frank, Eric, Kurt, Bob, Chases Cows, George, Justan, Phillip, Deion, Hunter, Pop, Ledg, Matthew, Stephen, Pat, Jennifer, 

ZERO, soar on dear one, we miss you always yet know you are with us in all the familiar places ... Prayers and strength for Alexis and her family,  Chelsea, Baby Florenzo, and Sara may the Creator welcome you all home to the Ancestors...   Those in Christiansburg VA and surrounding communities for strength and healing, VAAP, Stephen Deirslen and family,  Kurt, Ali, Jeremiah, Pop Spring, Joe, Rachel, Matthew, Nick, Leanne, Leslie, Stephen, Gayle, Karen, Janet, Perry, JT, Moses, Little Nicholas, Karen, Ericka, young Peyton, Bill, Shauna, Dixie, Kurt, J&L, John, Alexis, Kassity, Kelsi, Bob, Lauri, Larry,

KM, Osh Kosh, Choctaw Nation, SODA, Kari, Jamie, Tiffany, Bob, David, The Durant P.D., Windhorse, Hezra and Dan, Pat, Joan, Jane, Mickey, Cynthia, Rubuye, Patches, Charla, Kurt, Lyle, Bear, Sylvia, Heidi, Samatha, Marcus, Brenda McQuire, Jan, Joan,  Louise E. Duckwork and her family, friends, Brother Michael Belford, Rev Bev and family,Erin, Bear, Ellie, Andrei, Maggie, ED, Mary, Ari, Kostas, Jean, Rene, Joanie, Stevie, Nat, Matt, Jamie,

The sage is filling the air...

For Sandy Hook and those in Newtown CT., for all those who have been touched, shattered and devastated by violence we are with you here and pray for an end to such horrible things happening in our world. 

For our warriors, We are fighting alongside you and thinking about you.

Rebecca, Hudson, Peyton, Dottie, Zero, George, Peyton, Billy Ray, Yvonne, Les, Lana, Lanita, Kelly, John, Bill,

~ `~

For:

Erin, Ellie, Andrei, WM, Yvonne Cassie, Mildred, Michele, Evelyn, Kelly, Betsy, The Faulkner Family, Stan, Dan, Christie, Ledge, Rick Paul, Colin G Brady, 

  NYPD, Guardian Angel Hospice and those there, Lanita, Dana, Leslie, Dottie, Kelly, Molly, Evan, Jeff, Ruby, Kevin, Scott, Dakota, Ruby, Dottie, Todd, John, BK, Clare, Yvonne, Evelyn, Sonny, Trace, Lyle, Michael, Beverly, Shauna, Dixie,

Julia Skinner and her NRV ELITE in Christiansburg VA,thank you for a wonderful year.

Coach Woodka, the Tarpon Springs Basketball team, Coach Carb and family, Cooper, Mark, Marvin, Zaden, Zamerion, Daniel, 

Carol, Sandy, Carrie and her family in Aurora,Ali,BK, Carolyn, Karen, Kelly and her family up North,

For those who have asked and we are standing with you in your time of sorrow, angst, difficulties.

   Heidi and family, Dianne, Ken,  Lori, Cynthia, Scott, Ali Legend, and children,  Heather Belle, Carolyn, Rog, Dusty, the 5,000 guardians now standing in the memory of Thomas O'Brien, the family of Trayvon Martin,

For:

  Harriet, Sherry Reed, Mary Grace, Shirley, BK, Stephanie, Lorrie, Pop and his family,

Sherry C.,  Katie and Bill Majestic, Marvin, Layne, Lori, Jim, D, Heidi, Julia, Rolling Thunder, The Patriot Guard, Carol,The Schram/Korabek family, Kyle, Mark, Todd, Yvonne, Harry, Kevin, Jen, Charles,  Glenn, "the littleOne", Anne Klein, Monica Graff, Penny, Chris, Joy, Anne, Sara, Jenn, Shirley, AnneMary, Michael, Jeannie,Patti Labelle and family, The Wounded Warrior Brigades,   Warren Buffet, Best of health be restored to you sir, Kyle Jones in TN; a magic maker, a musician and a good man, M Dave Glenn Alley a talented musician who is extending himself in service to others, blessings to you friend,BK, Kevin, Dash, Graham, Suzannah,

Seth Greenberg and family, Eileen D. and family, Steve and family, Anne, A, Sandy, "EI", Kev, Chris,

Lyle Emerson and his family in Buffalo and little Kendra 3 years old who is fighting Lymphoblastic Leukemia,

Bernice Etsitty and the life of her son, gone too soon Garrett Joe,Joey, Sam, Tyler, Robbie, Elizabeth, Tommy,

Duke Limongello gone too soon,

and all the children of all colors, all ages, and causes

gone to soon.

Sandy Hook Elementary School

in memory and prayers:

  Charlotte Bacon, 2/22/06, female
- Daniel Barden, 9/25/05, male
- Rachel Davino, 7/17/83, female.
- Olivia Engel, 7/18/06, female
- Josephine Gay, 12/11/05, female
- Ana M. Marquez-Greene, 04/04/06, female
- Dylan Hockley, 3/8/06, male
- Dawn Hochsprung, 06/28/65, female
- Madeleine F. Hsu, 7/10/06, female
- Catherine V. Hubbard, 6/08/06, female
- Chase Kowalski, 10/31/05, male
- Jesse Lewis, 6/30/06, male
- James Mattioli , 3/22/06, male
- Grace McDonnell, 12/04/05, female
- Anne Marie Murphy, 07/25/60, female
- Emilie Parker, 5/12/06, female
- Jack Pinto, 5/06/06, male
- Noah Pozner, 11/20/06, male
- Caroline Previdi, 9/07/06, female
- Jessica Rekos, 5/10/06, female
- Avielle Richman, 10/17/06, female
- Lauren Rousseau, 6/1982, female (full date of birth not specified)
- Mary Sherlach, 2/11/56, female
- Victoria Soto, 11/04/85, female
- Benjamin Wheeler, 9/12/06, male
- Allison N. Wyatt, 7/03/06, female

   

and for

OUR President and his family

of our United States of America,

those who are serving our Nation and their service animals

and all who have served

and their families,those who have fallen and are still missing we honor and thank you,

May the Creator bless you for holding us in your arms to protect our freedoms.

We  remember.

danLrene, CJ, Florence, Jenn, Bill, Denise, Ashe, Stuart Jr,  Barry Gibb, his family, Whitney, the Houston family, the family of our disco queen Donna Summer ,

Andre, Bill, Taft Abras, Mary Labyaks' family , Andrea, Patti, Jamie, Sasha, Kerri, Josh, Kar, Cash, Neil, Lori, Cindi, Tom, Shasta, Bill Simpson and Family, Jenn, Steph, Dana, Kari, Sandy, Marty, Marsha, Wanda, Ellen, Cindee, Peggy, Joyce Cruz, a CANCER survivor working at Southwest Airlines *it was an honor to meet you dear one*, Ike Davis, in New Mexico, an artisan who plays in the mud and creates beautiful tings out there, *http://www.negroartist.com/* what a joy you are to so many of SOUTHWEST, thank you for visiting with me, prayers of continued success and tobacco to your Pueblo uncle! and for Christos Fandaros, Thomas Galvin, John Knudson, Curtis, Susie Langham, Stasia and Billy Hall, Christina Chavez and Rick and Ryan, Pam Meyer, Whitney, Diane Bystista, Susan, Leann Vincent, Roxanne Duran, Carole Poppendeck, Mary Jo H-shortes, Bridget, Robert Tanner Mara Tanner, Yolanda L Acosta, Antonio F. Balderrama, Denise Flowers, Lisa Balance, Sherry Stedman, Rose, Marquette, Acosta, Ortega, The Pueblo Peoples,

All those I was honored to spend time with in

" Choctaw Nation, IN, VA, DC, MD, FL, CT, PA, Ohio, Michigan, South Dakotas, Geisinger Medical Center, Michigan, Oklahoma, Ohio, Solaris Hospice, Evercare, Hospice of the Western Reserve, Gesinger, Guardian Angel Hospice,  Crossroads Hospice, New Hope Hospice, Comfort Keepers KS, El Paso, Santa Fe, Albuquerque"

Jeremy, Florence, Cal, Sarch, our friends of Portugal, Mike, AnnMary,Stephanie, Jimmy, Keli, Kasi, Katherine, Julie, Allan, Lynda,LeeAnn, KS Comfort Keepers, Stephen Bright, Linda and staff Melody,Brenda A and children Sarah, David Rachel; Gloria, Pete, Fred, Max, JJ, Barb and Leo Henning, Rick Fechner, Ryan Baurain, Melissa Reid, "Probation Professional pals", Jim Vander May (*who has been working in the Professional field for 45 years in Michigan*, Dale, Herschel, Bonnie, Louise, Holly, Jerry, Faith, Yvette, Happy, Audrey, and Rod Markowski and family, Lynn, Ryan, Jordon, Darryl Markowski, I thank you for your service) Brian Markowski, Shannon Becker, Nick, Reagan, Dr Iris Taylor of Detroit Medical Center,, please take best care of you) Sandy R. Carol, Stephanie, Geri, Chris, Matt, those in Oklahoma City, in Tulsa, In Ft Worth, Dallas, Ike, Isabel, Teresa, Janelle, Patricia, Susan, Karen, Laura in Yuba City CA, The Walter Reed Warrior Transition Brigade, Hope Hospice, Crossroads Hospice and those who care out there working and walking the walk, Perry, Clayton, George, Janet, and all in green! Rick, Calley, Ron, Rebekeh, Brenda, Becca, Audrey, Gabe, Dena, Beth, Lill, Jay Hanson, Jennifer, Beth Jett, Huntsville AL, Sheri, Wendy Reese and family, Sandy, Toby, Edith Vaughn and family,Susan, Greg and Kyle Korabek (Landon Korabek on the other side now), Stephen Bright and family, Walter Littlemoon, Jane, Laura, Mitch, Jenn, Chris, Mary, Taft, Martha Deaver, Morris, Dahlee, Rose Brick, The Baitinger Family, The Yaslowitz Family, The St Petersbug PD, Congresswoman Gabbie and her family, Dahlee in NJ, Judy Kelley, beloved husband and family, Jennifer, (now being watched over by her beloved husband and child), Norma, EE, Little Cub to CJ and Angel eyes Jack, Daniel, Dave, Cindy and Steve, Marty, Sweet Pea and Pie Face, Florence, Jeremy, Dennis, Darrel, Greg, Leroy, Rebekka, Carly, John, Diana, Crystal, Karen, Janet, Callie, Lorie, Laura, Larry, Clive,

2 Wolves and Jinx in SD, (http://www.2wolvescreations.com/)

Kelly and family,Judy W and her 4 sons up there in New England, Cherokee Wick, Benni, Gayle, Jonathan, Great Aunt Effie's family, Marilyn Warren, Ilene, Tweak and Chris, Jen and Brian, Ericka, Shannon, Hannah Sherabow, Pam C. and family, Susan S., Angela A., Nancy W, Sue G, Kelly and family, Susan Brouse, Cindy and Stevie, Kim, Olatz, EVB, Guin, Yiva, Mary, Sandra and family, Christina Helen, Dotti B., Susan and Greg, Amy, Becky and Barry Long, Christina, Matt and children, Aaron, Lisa and family, Freda, Linda Katie, Pat D, Tink and Mitch, LITTLE Ben, Jerry, Trish, Barb, Anastasia, Mary, Rylee, Lindsay, Ann, Sarah, Ruth, Johnny, Bobby and the Tucker Family, The Spraker Family,Kenny H, Michelle, Sandy, Addie and family in Canada, Sandy, BraveHeart, Rowena, Chris, Robyn Elizabeth, Jean, Duke,Rowena, Chris, Baby Robyn Elizabeth, Diane Smallze and family, Patti and family, The Korabek Family and friends, The Gasse Family and Friends,

Officer Crawford of St Petersburg, The Kocab Family, baby Lilly Nicole Kocab, The Curtis Family, Tarpon PD, those serving here and there in Uniform... Those now walking The Thin Blue Line, (far to many joining that line recently across our Nation),

Mylee, Mikey and family in DC, Jack M & Janis in OC, Stephen, Stuart Wittel  of the US MARINES and his parents Sandy and Stuart, Lavie Coltrane and family, Andrea Gasse and family here and in New England, Ali and family, Randy and Winnie in New Mexico, Jill Wheaton L, Dr Peter in NY, Dr Rev Bev, Irene M, Bernice, Eileen and family, Vicki, Matthew and family, Chris, Lovie, Nancy, Pedro and Our adopted family in BRAZIL, Our North American Black American Bears, The Windcross Convservacy and those beautiful Spanish Mustangs known as "pocket ponies"... the dolphins , always our most remarkable dolphins!!!

AND for:

Anne, Jim, JADE, Cynthia, Joseph, Cathy Madden, Nathan, and her family., Cindy in NC, Liz, Lee, Molly, Joanie, Jude, COFA, Judi, Ken, Matthew, Nick, Matt, Mark's family and many friends , Pat, Irene, Kevin, Dr D, Deb, Randy, Dr B, Isabelle, Kelsey, Sabrina , Charlie and family, Jean, Julie, Rhonda, Victoria, Mildred, Andi and family, Faith, Denise, Jim, Tom, Joey, Shelby friends and family, Judi, Phylis, Joyce, Gina, Tonya, Beverly and Family, Janeth, Melissa,Virginia, Stacey, Elizabeth, Nita, Gary Siegal, Adrienna, Brian Mawbey, the Boyan Family, Jean R and friend Christy Rider, Victoria and hubbie, Stephen, Gayle, Steph, Chris, Erica, Eileen, John, Mindy, Jack, Susan Werth Becken, her brother Mike and family, Craig James Lightfoot and his family, Kenny, Audrey, Ed Saner, Patty Crowley, Bennie, Gail, Jonathan, Moe, Beverly, Dennis, Peter, Trish, Cynthia, Heidi and her family, Kathy Knights family, Edith Vaughn, Candy, Cynthia, Jenn, Eve, Edith, Jason, Karen, Linda, Joyce, Belinda, Jeanette, Jennifer, Patti, Sandy S, and . .. 

(Feel free to let me know if you would like to add your/or a friends name to our prayer bowl.

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” [Lao Tzu]


Walk your walk, in beauty
DRSES 

The Thunder/Lightning awe summer...

Oh my how how the thunder and Lightning beings like to play... Scaring us at times with their antics to be sure. August is here! The daily storms, thunder/lightning has become a daily adventure... Waterspouts now seem to be showing up in Tampa, captured on camera's and phones, seeming to appear from nowhere as the storms arrive daily. They are quite amazing, and I hear from a captain of "Chute Me UP" in Clearwater that they are not that uncommon a sight in the Gulf here! I sure would like to see one, so far only have seen the photos, heard about them second hand and they sure are impressive.

Summer and its joy, we look good even tho It's Hurricane Season here in Florida! The light shows at night are breathtaking to be sure when the lightning jags and you cannot count 10 seconds until the next... as the thunder rolls above the skies darkness. Ah, but the time of change is all around us and within us to be sure, often distracting us from looking eye to eye at the beauty that most often is the result of the thunder, lightning and storms. Remember, storms never last... they just make us think that they do. And that my friends includes the storms that often erupt within....
There is nothing quite like listening to the thunder beings as they play in spirit land. The rumbling, the wondering ... will it rain, will the lightning bolt and fill the sky? 
Living in the lightning capital of the world, I now see a lot of spirits riding on the bolts of lightning! And oh my goodness... the rainbows that can fill the sky after times like this. They can take your breath away, but only if you notice them! From here to there to just everywhere.

  You would be amazed at the number of people that have never seen a double rainbow. I've been known to pull my car off the road and just sit and watch a rainbow, in awe at its beauty, filled with gratitude that I had for that moment been blessed with its presence. Remember the post about the Redbird? Well it wasn't long after that post that I received an email from a dear woman to share with me that her son made his presence known by way of the rainbow, not once but several times... Could it be that the lightning and thunder beings are the dance, the music from loved ones that they are coming and bringing a gift.... and the gift is that of the rainbow?  
Perhaps we would be wise to to listen for the thunder, to watch for the lightning and to pay attention for when the storm is passed... And then there is the story of Jaren's Mom who is frequently visited by Jaren by way of rainbows, butterflies and dolphins... She is blessed indeed to have so many visits from Jaren this way. I remember hearing from her, excited confused and just thrilled so long ago. She told of being at her sacred space, thinking of Jaren, hoping for a sign. Her voice I will never forget as she let me know that while sitting on the beach, she looked up and saw a perfect "round rainbow" circling the sun! With a little research she discovered it is not possible to see this from the ground! Go figure, but she did!!!! Messengers indeed...
Many of us stand in awe of a storm, some distressed, afraid of it, mad or just inconvienced  by it (I sure was when I first moved to Florida; not too fond of Lightning Beings it took some time to become friends). Others are soothed by storms, thrilled by the sight, sound, the thrill of watching storms, of seeing the waters change, moods change. 
But there are few of us who miss the ceremony of storms in all their glory~ Just as few of us miss the impact of the storm within that affects our equilibrium and makes us forget that we are warriors at times! Here's a thought to stretch your imagination ---- Some have thought storms to be signs from the spirit world, messages from those who have gone before us. There are even some who believe that its the drummers drumming the dance of life, a celebration from the "other side" if you will! But then again, there are those who see the storms and thunder as an inconvenience, a storm is a storm is a storm and it will pass and life is the same as it has always been, and you just don't think about it!
But  for others, they pay attention and think. And for thunder beings,they pass quickly making noise, having fun, like so many emotions. Intense at first and then transforming... into rain, into new beginnings and sometimes a rainbow! If you pay attention! 
Reminds me of loss and grief that way, often out of our control, coming and going at will, interpreted differently depending on who is experiencing it. Often leaving us drained and weak in the knees, sometimes soggy OR sometimes refreshed and renewed or re-birthed!
Maybe it's really painting colors in the sky, messages in our hearts.

 Maybe we really do need to look through different eyes, to gaze differently than we ever have before. We need to pat ourselves on the back sometimes as we move through our day-to-day lives and recognize and remember that we are the warrior within, that we are survivors, that we are growing and healing and being kind to others along the way!
Sometimes we look so hard for something/anything that we are unable to see what is within. Messages and signs that we often are too busy, too hurt, to consumed that we don't even notice that are there, just wanting us to notice....Miracles can happen when the first rumble or drum beat of the thunder sounds....
The drum of life beats within you, waiting for you to join the dance of life, to celebrate this most splendid moment of your life! Troubled, heavy hearts often lighten after the storm... Usually feeling relief that the threat of that moment has passed. Amazing how it resembles change, loss and grief that way! The first colors of the rainbow can and often do take our breath away, can make us recall, remember and re-connect. The thought of the thunder and lightning beings can teach us to listen and look... and allow us to hope for the message, for the rainbow at storms end. Healing Heartaches, transforming us into life differently looking for rainbows within and all around while maintaining the mind-body-spirit connection in all that you are each day that you are. I wish you enough as you find the rainbow!

""I have made myself what I am" (Tecumseh, 1810)

Walk In Beauty
DRSES

author of;
Healing Heartaches, Chronic Pain; Hand in Hand

*Coming Soon*
Down the Hallway, The Rooms in Charmaine's Head

Hello August !

August already? Geez, the time flies I just looked an it was June. Oh how I love my summers, so slow it down now, hang out a while August and just take your time here... yes yes I know it also is known as the "dog days of Summer", but that's alright too. We have cold showers, most have A/C, most have the ability to chill when they need to, and still get a small break in the rush hour traffic not having to deal with those yellow buses that stop every 50 feet for the kiddies. C'mon now summer you can just slow yourself here... what's the rush anyway?

Folks complain of the heat, yet not so long ago they complained of the cold, the sore backs from shoveling snow and lacing up boots and putting on socks! Now they only have to throw on the flip flops and go, seems like a far better plan to me, no coat, no mittens. The light is better later, the traffic is less, the warmth good for the bones and Vitamin D at a premium.

Ever notice how no one complains when they see someone in a bikini or two piece top out and about in the day to day life? But heaven help us if we see someone out in a bra... the world might just end; why is that I wonder?

Ah sweet summer; how I love it.

Many not so much, as they begin to think about getting the kiddies back to school, the high cost of having to take them to buy supplies, clothes, shoes, the latest and greatest things that their friends are going to be wearing when they take to the halls once again in September.  Those who wonder who will be the adults teaching and if their children will learn, be safe from harm, leave the safety of home to ride buses, stand in lines and learn something each and every day while also learning to be better people.  As for the kids? Oh my, they will once again soon have to have a schedule of bedtimes, of getting up early and following someone elses rules and expectations, of homework, less gaming and doing and going. Soon vacations will be a thing of the past and forgotten unless the family keeps it in their minds through conversations and/or pictures. Marvelous memories so easy to let go of unless we keep them moving in the frontal lobe of the brain for the kids... as their brains develop and grow it seems... Summer in all its splendor and "wow" moments.

Oh the many tasks and thoughts to keep straight in life and in the last month of summer.
Now we enter August; a month also known as the dog days cos' as the heat gets turned up.

These 4 leggeds here are already showing me the signs; sleep, walk to the next spot and sleep some more! Energy is down, the sleep is up and coolness is the name of the game.

August 1 is also known for the Joyce Kilmer poem "Trees" was first published in 1913 "Poetry: A Magazine of Verse! Just so you know that the 1st day of August has been noted as quite a day.

August now lays claim to both Godsons' birthdays, D'Vante and Kamryn born in the same months both growing, changing, with their own thoughts, minds, walks into their own people.

August, also today is:

Friendship Day
National Minority Donor Awareness Day
Girlfriend Day
Respect for Parents Day
Rounds Resounding Day (row row row your boat)

And, did I mention:
DO NOT LEAVE YOUR PETS IN THE CAR
on any day... It also is quite wise unless they are wearing a pair of Michael Jordans to not take them walking on hot pavement unless you are walking barefoot beside them.

 So, as we welcome August into our homes, our cars, our lives... may we enjoy each moment, each day. Cos' we all know that they go too quickly and once gone, well, you know the rest.

A view from above just to get your awe on today...
and from this person in Florida, let me just end with this....

Jesse Jackson, if you have a home... please leave my state and return to your home. YOU are not helping here. In addition you are insulting, irritating and pissing off a tremendous number of educated, enlightened people with your racist hatred. [signed, Dr Sherry E Showalter]

Prayers of peace, hope, faith, compassion to all. to those standing, serving I thank you.

Walk in beauty,
DRSES