Friday, September 9, 2011


 It's that time of the year... more and more people are reporting that old man grief is paying a visit to their hearts. Overwhelming their senses and leaving them with a feeling of great sadness, sorrow revisited. Some are reporting those feelings of "why me", "if only" and "I'm so lonesome I could and do cry", while others are isolating and withdrawing.
The light is changing;
fall is being reported across the lands!

are losing the light of summer, heading into the dark months once again.
Leaves that were once alive with their brilliant green, will begin their beautiful turns and swirls
to crimson and orange
and then quickly it will seen to many
just somehow fade
to brown and drop to the ground.
  Darkness falling earlier each evening... all giving way to those inner feelings of aloneness at times.

It reminds me of throwing a stone into the water sometimes.
 Throwing that stone, not really caring where it lands.... sometimes tossing it out there, just for tossing sake. Other times throwing, really throwing; letting loose with all that pent up anger, rage, frustration... letting it all go with the stone.
Whether gently or with great force, that stone creates a ripple.... a ripple that is visible and affects all things around it.
And so it is with grief.
Whether new or old and unresolved;
 one person's actions/reactions to their visits or re-visits of grief symptoms has a ripple affect on all those who love and are loved by that person.
It ripples through the nervous system, the "nuwati" if you will of those who care.
 "Those who stand by and are observers to the pain of the one who is grieving, knowing there is nothing they can really do that is concrete to take the pain away.
 Knowing that it is truly the person living through the grief that has to choose.... yes choose to stand, lay down, move forward, or stay stuck in their pain of loss.
What ever the choice, many are affected and infected by the grief of others.
 They are often the recipient of the out lash, the pain, the frustration of the griever.
 And, they are often also faced with choices during the process as well.
 Their choices become: to lose sight of the fact that theirs is to just be supportive vs. become a part of the grieving! Another choice that must be made is: to become a teacher or a preacher!
 Teachers educate if they have the proper knowledge and tools; preachers on grief are usually not well accepted as only the one who grieves knows what they are actually going through first hand.

So, while it is important to do your grief work..... It is also important to realize that your grief has an impact on those still living, loving and enjoying life and enjoying you! Therefore you do have some responsibility to honor and respect that as well while making your choices....
  Work your grief, Get Help, Stand Up and Claim The Warrior Within, Honor and Remember Your Loved Ones By Living Your Life, Live Your Life With Zest, Love Those Who Are Living, Right Here Right Now or Stay Stuck in your pain and not move.
Choose wisely....

Taken from the Book Healing Heartaches: "Lesson One, Who you are is not who you've been and you cannot go back there again. Who you are is different now. The true challenge along the journey is learning to live differently than ever before incorporating your loved ones into the rich tapestry of your life"
"You give little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give"
(The Prophet)

Walk In Beauty
"we have this day"
enjoy each breath, each moment


Anonymous said...

Good morning to all. This message today really hits home to so many of us who have grieved for a lost love one and those who have carried the burden and could not let go. Letting go of a loved one is a test to ones heart and to stay sane. Sudden death is a hard blow for anyone to deal with and survive. My heart still aches from losing one thru sudden death. I can feel the hurt of the ones who lost during 09-11-01. I will always remember and try to make someone else life worth living and being the person we need to be to help others. We need to pray and pray hard to our Creator with the dreadful news there is going to be trouble in DC and NY for the memorial service. We pray that God will help all of us get thru this trying time. You spoke so many words of wisdom this morning and I think we will all absorb them over and over to help us every day. God Bless the USA

Irene M said...

Greetings to all who visit & read here, in my usual odd, upbeat, quirky way. But today, reading this blog, the emotions it stirred up, made me realize just HOW much I have been thru personally. The effects of recent events have been sand-papering my heart. Earthquake, hurricanes, flooding, fires,power outages famine, you get the picture ? .......... and now, throw in the 10 year mark of 9-11, me being separated from my family & friends, still feeling isolated here in Fla. Throw in Monday's FULL MOON, and I am really off the charts with my own version of CRAZY. I will take Dr. SES's advice and BREATHE, STOMP or do what I have to do to keep my inner peace front and center. Limit my news / weather viewing.
Thanks for the silent support I know is present here on this page, with the regular frequent flyers / commenters. Have a great Friday ! IceCream staying FIRM and kewl.

Anonymous said...

wow.. words if insight and inspiration spoken here today.. for some odd reason, these words are familiar to my heart, as I know from past seasons, I have lived them before. More importantly, I have survived... "Lesson one" being the most valuable to me personally... each morning I awake,and these past few days have been tougher than others, and I actively remind myself of Lesson 1... we cannot do back, we are different now, we must make a choice to move forward...Hard work it surely is, to move beyond the dark pain which once filled me.. a deep breath, an inner voice saying "YES, YOU CAN ! "... speaks softly yet firmly.. Perhaps with all the turmoil surrounding us in the world, the personal pain is triggered back to a different level.. the grief and suffering of all surrounded by 9/ 11 is immense and needs to be taken in small doses. I am trying to stay focused on being grateful for all I have, not what I have lost. I am cleaning out the personal junk that blocks my positive energy. I am diving head first into happy memories , people I love and making a point to open my heart and ears to those who may need just soneone to listen. I try to focus on the amazing and awesome change of the seasons, seeing and smelling the colors and gifts left by nature. I will not retreat to the dark hole of my grief ever again.. maybe I have finally realized it is not healthy for myself... ya think???.. To all of you who pass by here, know that there are easier and happier days ahead, we all need some support at times,it is okay to cry a few tears as long as you mix in a few joyful tears too. I'll be praying for all of thos affected by 9/11 and thanking the responders who were so selfless and brave.. Jump into the weekend with both feet.. STOMP... LIFE IS GOOD ! and always remember we are blessed to be here, blessed to have Doc Sherry and each other.. the world is truly an amazing place and we get back tenfold what we choose to give. sign me,
hugging my angels closely, listening to the sweet songs they sing... Thank you for this blog today... you are all the best !! ♥ A.

fluff said...

Dr. Sherry, Thank you so much for this blog. I was unable to get here until tonight so as I read it and the feelings felt and thoughts on my mind I will come back tomorrow are read it again after a nights sleep as I am very tired due to a difficult and very busy work day. I am thankful and grateful for this place to come to and friends understand as they have also been there or are there now. Wishing each of you a wonderful weekend. Thank you Dr. Sherry and Bless you for being so special and sharing such knowledge and compassion. Be well friends and God Bless Sandy♥