Thursday, July 18, 2013

The sunset on vacation... now the quiet is deafening

From the pool to Disney, the Transformer ride to the Mummy that took my heart and put it in my throat... the giggles the thrills, the bookends in my bed squishing me... the fun times the good times, the awkwardness of a boy of 11 a girl of 13 trying to find their groove of communication to late nights of Disney, the WII competitions, the basketball camp of Coach Woodka in Tarpon Springs... Oh my goodness what a summer it has been.

 From the photo in the middle to now, we had the times of our lives... we rocked it we did! From the Gulf of Mexico to Lake Tarpon, to Disney to the pool, we had the best of times we did.  they are growing, as I sit looking at that picture wondering where has the time gone, feeling so blessed I can barely feel my feet beneath me touching the tiles. Still feeling their touch, sensing their smells, their wonder, the conversations stirring in my mind, the memories saturating my very being. Interesting the things and the conversations that fill you up assisting you to stand, to filter out the things that leave you with less than what you truly want to hear or be a part of as you move through the day. It sure is quiet here, even the 4 leggeds seem to be grieving their absence.

Maybe it's their overall "awesomeness" or the constant kisses hugs they are missing the most, since Jeepers, Gypsy and even Patches all, were in their arms most of the time when they were not in the pool. They have searched the rooms, the bathrooms, walking from here to there in the looking for Kam and Olivia.  Seems they just don't get it yet, "where are my people" is there expression as their heads cock and their eyes stare at me. I just look back with my sad puppy dog eyes and say, "I got nothin babies"... and they walk away in their search sniffing them out all over again.

 Of course, Jeepers was the primary day glow wearer the night of fireworks.... he did make an outstanding glow in the dark dog, along with Gypsy who we found sleeping with a lime green band around her waist...

Ah yes, the possibility for us as adults we can take a lesson from the kids now that summer has happened, now that I sit wondering how to fill the time when missing is at an all time high. Longing for the voices, the laughter, the sheer joy that has been filling my soul in ways that words do not do justice.  The colors of the sky have been more remarkable, the smells of the air, the rain, the sun have penetrated the senses in ways that are difficult to describe but are tonic of the Ancestors as stories have been shared.  To be open, accepting and willing to teach while learning is an opportunity that stays with both the children and I forever, in ways that are etched in the soul spirit.  Pinky swear they are.

The dollar store sells those wonderful day glow sticks, perhaps you will want to purchase some... wait for the darkness to come, break them open and celebrate the fluidity of life, of wonder for yourself! It is indeed a colorful and beautiful world of wonder. You can find yourself quite easily with them at night, try it, YOU might just fall in love with it while experiencing magic. 

 Look around you, create your own "Chihuly" world in your mind's eye... a world of color, of glass beauty, in fields, on water, in your home... a sculpture of brilliant colors, to leave you with awe, with excitement, to work through pain, through crisis, through bullsh*t.

Look through the eyes of an excited child who is filled with imagination, wonder, joy, enthusiasm.  IF they are having trouble with theirs, help them discover the possibilities; the wonder of the world... passion through imagination. that same dollar store sells bubbles and after all, who in the world doesn't love bubbles? gET SOME for yourself, it will help you remember to breathe!

 Wonder how that would work if you put a bit of food coloring in them, or vanilla extract for sensation of smell, color, and "OH MY" a whole new experience of bubble blowing!!! "Feelin it".

Imagine, handing over the wheel of a 20' boat to Nana's girl, the feeling/rush of driving a boat for the very first time.... oh what a day of "feeelin it". 

 So as the sunset on vacation 2013, the sadness crept in, the moments of tears escaped... and then the prolonged goodbye was the absolute worst... The storms came through causing major delays. (OMG, just take a rusty hot knife and stab me slowly)... the wait, the delay, the rain, the wait... 

 Olivia and I decided "just one more delay and we're goin home, Mom will have to cope we cannot take any more of this, it is too painful".  
Finally, sadly we tears in our eyes the darn plane arrived and we hugged our so longs and she boarded....

BUT, I had forgotten a gift of a monkey we bought for little Gypsy as the phone rang with Olivia saying, "Nana, YOU forgot the monkey, I"M bringin it to ya!!!" Here she came against all the travelers with the bag, another tearful hug/kiss and then had to get back on the plane for her solo flight to BWI...

Oh lawd, just shoot me...

With a quick call to da Mama, "she is on the plane" my voice cracked, as I told her I had to hang up and would call from the car... I HATED that part.  The bumper to bumper traffic, the $20 parking fee as a result of delayed flights, the lone drive home as I knew my girl was silently with tears just like me until we meet again...

Shift your focus change your state:>>> We've had the time of our lives!<<<<

 Time to dribble the basketball, turn up some music, distract distract distract..... til this feelin moves.
 Blow bubbles, find a new recipe for them, glow sticks tonight, dress up the 4 leggeds, (check)

Walk in beauty,

1 comment:

fluff said...

Oh Dr. Sherry, it is the missing that is the hardest in those times of life. It is most difficult to say good bye and let them go back home. You, and they, have those grand memories of vacation and longing to see them again real soon. Enjoy the peaceful times and the memories. Love the photos of the furry friends and the older photo of the little ones all grown up now. Take care and have a good evening. /Sandy♥