Care-Giving Truths

Sometimes what seems like a straw

may just be a flute ready to be played!

Just as Olivia once was so intent on that ever so cute photo that Nana captured,

it seemed she was playing her heart out on a flute that she could later dance to the music from!

Creativity is the name of the game in

Care-giving

I do believe~

More times than not it will require you to have on your

"water wings"

a control of YOU in your hand

and at times it will surely curl your toes,

as a younger Kamryn demonstrates so well,

and at times it requires you to

"set your mouth just right" for the ride you will feel like you are on.

And at times it will be a wild ride indeed while other times

a ride like none other with sights and sounds and smells and experiences that you will treasure the rest of your life.

But make no mistake,

care-giving is a ride for those who are not with a faint heart.

...

The Elders now caring for the adults, the grands, the little ones...

Great-Aunts, Godparents, Grandparents, Extended families

now finding themselves raising a new generation and finding themselves with a new set of rules

so vastly different from their own ways, cultures, norms.

Once able to feed their families on food grown from a garden that was planted by the whole family, food washed from water from the well and distributed around a table where the family bowed their heads with thanks.

Now a table where the food is scarce,

the cell phones out and texts a flyin from here to there,

the pants on the ground unless a rope holds em up; unless that fad doesn't live where you do anymore!

Now a time of coke being more than a bottle of pop.

 A ho being something other than what is used in the garden,

and when you "are down with that" it does not mean you have the flu.

So much to keep up with, so many things to be on top of,

to be groovey is not cool,

to be "fly" is now the way to

be "fresh" but not rude.

A rollercoaster looks tame in relation to all that is happening in the world of caring for our youth,

and add to that the schools that are now lowering their standards when kids do not do well on standardized tests rather than work harder to bring them UP and educate them better.

AWARENESS IS THE KEY

to understanding.

Those who are providing care

would do well

with support, with tips to enhance their suvival and their self preservation along this arduous path of caring.

The tracks are long and sometimes isolating.

Sometimes caregivers just want to lay on those tracks and hope for the train...

So for them,

perhaps they need to know,

they are NOT alone in those feelings.

In communities across the Nation, there are those who Stand up

and find ways to get speakers in the community to hold seminars/workshops to talk to them, to help to restore some balance and empower them in ways to enhance coping.

They can find others in their communities and set up

"caregiver support groups"

and the effects and impact can be awe=inspiring, validating and make a tremendous difference.

May it help to know a few things.

First:

YOU are not responsible for the actions of the person that led you to this place unless they are YOUR actions!

If you are the caregiver of a grandchild, niece or nephew;

you are not responsible for the actions of your adult child.

YOU must take best care of you.

Remember the friendly airline steward?

YOU must first put YOUR oxygen mask on before rendering aide to another.

B R E A T H E

tip number 1.

...

YOU are your most precious resource.

Enlist resources and support.

People don't know what they don't know.

Unless you ask, you will never know what you need along this journey of caring for another.

AWARENESS is the key to understanding.

*Walk or exercise daily

*Make YOU time every day

* Find someone to talk with; even if by phone or internet to feel a connection

* Laugh (even if its at yourself or the circumstances) where there is tragedy there lies comedy somewhere.

* Learn of what is out there on the streets

*Call everyone in the community to enlist help

*Know that there will be some unsettling times

*Find ways to educate, to maintain connections to YOUR traditions, your routines, while finding ways to incorporate the newness you are now in

*Concentrate on the NOW. Don't dwell in the past or become the story of why/when/how.

*Try to not look to far down the tracks, it can be overwhelming

*Practice mindfulness

*Look to your faith to sustain, to maintain, to comfort

*Talk Talk Talk to the one you are providing care for

*Learn to say NO

*Listen

*Be like a willow; strong enough to bend

*Make a list of 3 things, stick with the list

*Read

*PLAY

*BE

 

....

Caregiving is rewarding, it is Work,

it is circumstances

and it is a wild ride at times.

A ride that not only is being taken by what we call the

"sandwich generation"

but by those we know as the

Elders.

WE must teach the children that respect for the Elders has been earned, props should and will be given to our wisdom keepers.

Even when they are ready to bring out the big gun to make their point;

those caregivers

are quite amazing, funny, serious

and Warriors!

Whether caring for Mothers, Fathers, spouses,

Children or grandchildren

YOU just don't want to mess to much with them

or

 

They might just bring out

the squirt gun on ya!

and

we know what happens then~

....

Prayers and candles are lit

for

Thomas O'Brien and his beautiful mom

Debbie Koenig

as she says that he is getting weaker, he is wanting her near him; wanting to gaze upon her, touch and smell her, taking her into his heart and soul for the Next place.

WE ARE STANDING for you dear sweet boy, and Debbie we are here.

Lean into us if you want or need,

we ARE here.

YOU are loved.

Wherever you are
Whatever you are doing
Please take a moment,
light your candle
and
say a prayer for
Thomas O'Brien
a warrior with eyes that we will all hold in our hearts
as he has taught thousands lessons that will stay long after he dances into the galaxies and is embraced by the angels.
Thank you sweet boy, you are a warrior of amazing grace
lent to the world for such a short time, who lived large and wide.

DANCE
Walk in BEauty
DRSES
www.sherryeshowalter.com