Thursday, June 28, 2012

Waves, Views, News, Words,

Tropical Storm Debby has left us; heading east and we are ever so happy here. We are now cleaning up, assessing damages; hearing from those we care about news of
"sinkholes" appearing in backyards, of warriors of this page now staying places other than their homes,
of being stranded at Siesta Key and feeling yukky and mukky and out of hand sanitizer yet enjoying the waters and the ever changing views they are honored to be alive to see.
Yard messes have been swept to curbs in hopes the city will pick them up; hopes that the businesses have not suffered tremendously and that homes will be restored and made whole, and that personal lives will be restored as folks continue to shake their heads
in awe of what has been called a 
Tropical Storm dumping 11-15 inches of water around Tampa Bay;
leaving folks in their homes as a result of streets filled with water and cars now rendered not drivable secondary to water damage.
Debby has humbled all; lives and homes have been lost.
Waves have been like those of the Atlantic and Pacific; and people have been amazed to find yesterday and today with blue and beautiful skies while hearing of neighbors who did not fare so well;
and watching the news of
Colorado; Colorado Springs
burning like an inferno.
Our prayers are with them,
we wish we could have sent them Debby to wet their lands there.
Waves, Views, News and words can astound and shock us;
leaving us to wonder and often say or do things that make no sense in the larger scheme of things.
We at times forget to search for and express gratitude in these times;
to look around us at the beauty in crisis or in storms and to awaken with a sense of remarkable thanks.
Someone just yesterday told me it would be a more wonderful world
"if everyone cared".
But doesn't everyone care?
Even if they put themselves and their issues first; they care.
It is in the extension of self I think that this person was talking;
and in the knowing that there is a light of the Creator within each of us; that provides us with all that we need to do all that we choose in caring and doing and sustaining storms and fire and illness;
that allows us to care for and about others. In that very caring our own light burns brighter; and we grow.
Perhaps that is the reason many do not give so readily, they are fearful that their light within will grow dimmer, or that they will have less not more.
Views, Waves, News, Words
each process differently, think differently, act and react differently.
I'm reminded of loss/grief
of how and what we say during times of hearing bad news; of those views, news, waves and words.
the power of words and the impact of them once a mouth is opened and those words fall upon the ears of those we speak to.
Just yesterday I spoke to my dear and beautiful friend EE
and the news she shared with me
left me speechless for a moment.
She had returned from a pulmonary testing that shows she has declined significantly in her breathing secondary to Pulmonary Fibrosis
of which there is no cure.
As I listened, my heart was heavy,
but I was not really surprised with her news, nor was she as she told me of the results.
What amazed me is the "lack of care" she has been and continues to receive from those who call themselves medical providers in her community; their lack of compassion for one who is chronically ill and disabled.
My heart aches for my dear friend;
and bursts with her spirit and resiliency to fight and to continue to stand UP even when weak and with the aide of 4arm crutches as Medicare will not pay for the repair of her motor scooter; leaving her unsafe and weak to walk.
When she is so ill, so weak;
many will tell her to rest and feel better. Will tell her upon hearing that she is declining that
"once you take a nap you will feel better and things will be alright".
Can you imagine how that must make her or others so ill feel?
I found myself saying over and again;
"I am so sorry", or "Oh my God this just sucks", and "You must be exhausted from the tests and drive, and should just get a coke, take something for pain and try to rest".
I found I was out of comfort, out of words, and so very sad to hear this news, 
yet I was outraged.
Yes outraged; that a system of care has let her down so profoundly and actually placed her in the position she is in now by their lack of care, lack of necessary referrals and follow-up in the last year.
And there is no recourse, no going back to "fix it", no way to make it right.
My dear friend is not well, is chronically ill, weak, and fighting to maintain her fragile health after being told by an ass of a health care provider she now needs to see about 13 specialists all of which are about 2 hours from where she lives.
It does NO GOOD for me to open my mouth with my rant of thoughts,
it does NO GOOD for me to say
"take a nap you will feel better"
it does NO GOOD
for me to tell her of a life time of working with people with similar diseases and how they did things.
it surely DOES NO GOOD
for me to tell her
I have no earthly idea how my friend feels, how she is coping, how she is able to get through each breath, each day with such precarious health and such a tremendous attitude of a warrior.
I stand in awe of her spirit,
I encourage her to raise hell with each visit to a provider and advocate for herself.
I try to listen with compassion and love; and attempt to make her laugh
and segway the pain through humor and stories of life here and the 4 leggeds.
No, I am NOT her therapist, I do not try to be; I am her friend.
And yes
at times I suck at that; as I say the wrong things when I open my mouth and step on my tongue.
People must be mindful
as we do not know the path that others walk, we cannot imagine
what it must be like to struggle with illness and the fragility of life each day.
When you ask "how are you"
those who are sick or grieving might do well to respond,
"do you really want to know or are you just being polite".
That would probably weed out a lot of
B.S. along the day and those who really want to know might want to have a cup of coffee and sit prepared to listen to waves, views, news and words they were not expecting to hear.
once those words are heard,
think before you speak,
speak with your heart
remember there are things you cannot FIX, times you cannot change things, and moments when it is very true that you may say it best,
"when you care and say nothing except I love you and leave it at that.
It may be that those calls, emails or old fashioned cards mean more than words can say.
It may be that asking or saying what is it I can do may be the best you can do.
It may be that conversations and moods change as someone you love is struggling or adapting to the constant changes of arranging appointments to see so many that are supposed to help, that energy is at a low, that times are fragile.
It may be that the very words you speak will be heard differently that you intended and cause hurt rather than help.
Choose wisely
as you may create a wave when you wanted to instill calm,
Views are always shifting and changing, News is changing when health is fragile; you cannot change nor control it with want or desire.
It is what it is.
Words are powerful,
love is never ending.
Sometimes an email, that you can look over and review is great;
you can send along great visuals, information
that a loved one can read at their pace, when they feel stronger, when they have the time.
when someone ill tells you they go out, or they went out,
it doesn't mean they didn't pay a huge price for that nor that they will not pay a great price of 3 days in bed to recover from it.
With each step you take today, each dance you do,
each view of your world,
do all with great gratitude that you woke up this morning.
Many did not have that opportunity
and many are waking in horrific pain and struggle
as we dance into our day.
Just keepin it real.
Prayers goin UP
For my beloved EE out in Colorado,
love you my friend and we are standing for YOU,

For Vicki and Matthew as they deal with a sinkhole here in Tarpon Springs, we are with you and holding you up as you continue to watch and assess the damages

For Colorado we are sending you strength out there

For Kelly 2Wolves now back in the Black Hills of South Dakota

For Debbie Koenig as she steps into the day with Thomas O'Brien in her heart receiving messages of his closeness each day and night

For Ali and her beloved Dad

For all our warriors here and in the Next Place we are Standing

Walk in Beauty,

1 comment:

fluff said...

Dr. Sherry, thank you for your words today. Holding those in prayers as mentioned. I have a few on-line friends who are in Colorado and smelling the smoke and close to evacuation the past few days. prayers for those touched from Debby and suffered loss or destruction. EE, prayers for you daily. Also for Debbie in Texas, Ali and her Father and family, our friend Kelly2Wolves and for our friend Irene, Sunday will be here soon and hope you get back home where you are safe and fee from yuck and muck! Be well friends and I wish you a day of joy and smiles as you count your Blessings. /Sandy♥