Thursday, May 9, 2013

Getting close to Mothers Day;

It's getting close to celebrating those Mom's out there, the ones that we love so, and at times the ones that we have to shake our heads at and wonder about! The wisdom keepers, the Mom's, the ones who stuck around to tell us they loved us through it, and when we fell were there to pick us up... (or not).  

For many it is also a bittersweet time of remembering or for many a time of renewed grief for those Elders, those parents, those very ones that they wish so were here for this Mothers Day to celebrate with on earth.

For the forgotten mourners it is a time of finding new and different ways to remember them, to honor them, to move about the day with renewed purpose and live the legacy that is now theirsParents, Grandparents, extended family members, Elders... we grieve the losses daily. In my book Healing Heartaches, I have a chapter titled; The Forgotten Mourners for it seems those losses and those who have lost get forgotten in the maize of grief and support along the way and through time.

I have been receiving emails recently from people who are grieving the loss of their parents; the wisdom keepers if you will. I have decided to share some of my thoughts this week for those forgotten mourners, both those who have purchased Healing Heartaches and those who have yet to purchase their very own copies!

We grieve the losses of the wisdom keepers daily, the loss of how things used to be... Grief is a normal and natural response to the loss of someone/something precious or significant in our lives. Grief is a statement that you have loved, and most often that you have felt the love of that someone!

While it may be in the natural order of the Universe for parents and grandparents to die before their children, it seems like the children no matter their age "are just not ready to let go, just not finished loving him/her" when death comes.  We all may say that we are ready; we may say that we are prepared, or as prepared as one can be... but at that moment in time when death occurs, we realize in that very second or maybe in the days that follow... there was one more conversation we wanted to have, or one more thing we wanted to do or say.  We are just not ready overall to let them go!

I was on Facebook this morning as I was relaxing my mind a bit over my morning coffee... still trying to wrap my thoughts around the fact that it only two days until the 2013 Landon Korabek Jamfest on Saturday

Then I saw a post from a woman that I have chatted with on occasion and she was letting her Facebook pals know that her Mom had died this morning after a long fight with Cancer. She seemed at peace in knowing that her Mom's fight was now at peaceful end, and for that I felt peace for her, but then what happened next was wonderful and amazing at the same time. As I watched the screen began to come to life with posts one after the next, as people from who knows where began to write comments to this lovely woman; comments of encouragement, comments of condolences, comments of support, prayer and thinking of you. Just like that; in the blink of an eye virtual Facebook pals answered the call and lent support and prayer and over the Internet a community of care jumped to the call. The resiliency of the human spirit came alive before my very eyes and I am sure that her heart was filled.  I can only hope that support will extend itself in 6 months, or next year this time of the year when those pains of loss tug at her heart and fill her soul.

The journey through grief after the death of a parent or grandparent, extended family member or Elder will have many tides and undertows as you find yourself in uncharted waters. While it may be viewed as the "normal and natural order of the world", that view is one of rational thought! It makes sense and explains order in the world view, it is understandable.  All of that often goes out the window when it is personal, when it is "your" parent/Elder who has died! The death of those keepers of our memories is a profound loss, regardless of your expectations and those of our society. Although you may be an "adult child", you are the child of your parents, the grandchild of your grandparents!!! They have known you since your first breath, your first steps; longer than anyone else in the world in most cases! 

With extended families, the grandparents, uncles, aunts and parents; they all play significant roles in the lives of the children. Collectively they may hold your memories, your secrets, the names of your imaginary friends! They may have loved you in ways you have not known since.  They are your Elders, your history and your foundation.

Honor you loss; your pain of grief. Allow yourself the time you need. Let others know of your needs and your stories. Take time to tell the stories and re-tell them. They are a part of what has made you the person you are today, for bad or good or best!

Be gentle with yourself and ask that others do the same.  You are the legacy...
Do something to honor them this weekend, do something that is life affirming and filled with gratitude for you are because of them good bad or ugly>>> you are!

Walk In Beauty



fluff said...

Hello Dr. Sherry and friends ~~ Thank you for your words today. I sit here teary eyed at work having been thinking about my dear precious Mom today. She has been gone 2 years and I miss her Oh So Much. I just told her a while ago I wish I could call her and hear her lovely voice again. To hug her and hold her hand is what I long for this day. It is even more difficult as Mother's Day approaches the sadness is great for me today. I am grateful for the loving memories though that I hold in my heart. My grand parents have been gone a very long time, my parents and brother died a few years apart and I miss them all so very much. I know many are experiencing this same grief and I pray for comfort and rest for the day. Take care /Sandy♥

Anonymous said...

What's Taking place i'm new to this, I stumbled upon this I have found It
positively helpful and it has aided me out loads. I'm hoping to contribute & aid other users like its aided me. Good job.

Here is my page; Natural Muscle Builder

Anonymous said...

Great delivery. Solid arguments. Keep up the amazing effort.

Feel free to visit my web blog; Virility Ex

Anonymous said...

Its like you learn my thoughts! You appear to know so much approximately this,
like you wrote the guide in it or something. I think
that you can do with a few % to pressure the message house
a bit, however instead of that, that is fantastic blog.

A great read. I will certainly be back.

My site extreme no side effects

Anonymous said...

Good day! I just would like to offer you a big thumbs up
for the great information you have got right here on this post.

I am coming back to your site for more soon.

Here is my web-site - Anatomy X5 Reviews

Anonymous said...

magnificent publish, very informative. I wonder
why the opposite specialists of this sector do not notice this.

You should continue your writing. I'm confident, you have a great readers' base already!

Also visit my site ... buy thyromine

Anonymous said...

Hello, this weekend is pleasant in favor of me, since this point
in time i am reading this fantastic educational post here at my residence.

Feel free to surf to my blog - ronco Pocket fisherman

Anonymous said...

Hi, of course this article is in fact good and I have learned lot of things from it regarding blogging.

My website:

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness! Impressive article dude! Thanks, However I am experiencing problems
with your RSS. I don't know the reason why I cannot join it. Is there anybody getting similar RSS issues? Anybody who knows the solution can you kindly respond? Thanx!!

Here is my web page provillus for women

Anonymous said...

Hi! I understand this is kind of off-topic but I needed to ask.
Does operating a well-established website like yours
require a lot of work? I'm completely new to running a blog but I do write in my diary everyday. I'd like to
start a blog so I can share my experience and thoughts
online. Please let me know if you have any kind of suggestions or tips for new aspiring blog owners.
Appreciate it!

Here is my site -

Anonymous said...

Hi there i am kavin, its my first time to commenting anywhere,
when i read this paragraph i thought i could also make comment due to this
sensible article.

My web site - buy provacylprovacyl review

Anonymous said...

Nice blog here! Also your web site loads up very fast!
What host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link to your host?

I wish my web site loaded up as quickly as yours lol

Here is my blog post ronco pocket fisherman

Anonymous said...

I will right away grab your rss as I can't to find your e-mail subscription hyperlink or newsletter service. Do you have any? Please allow me recognise in order that I may subscribe. Thanks.

my webpage; provillus at gnc

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure where you are getting your information, but great topic. I needs to spend some time learning much more or understanding more. Thanks for fantastic information I was looking for this information for my mission.

Here is my homepage ... buy breast actives

Anonymous said...

I couldn't refrain from commenting. Exceptionally well written!

Here is my blog ... buy african mango plus

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your marvelous posting! I seriously enjoyed reading it, you happen to be a great author.
I will make certain to bookmark your blog and will come back
in the foreseeable future. I want to encourage you
continue your great work, have a nice holiday weekend!

Review my website Venapro supplement

Anonymous said...

When I initially commented I seem to have clicked
the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox
and now every time a comment is added I receive
four emails with the same comment. There has to be a way
you can remove me from that service? Many thanks!

Also visit my site venapro for hemorrhoids

Anonymous said...

I'm gone to say to my little brother, that he should also visit this website on regular basis to get updated from newest gossip.

Feel free to surf to my web blog longitude male enhancement

Anonymous said...

If some one desires to be updated with most up-to-date technologies
therefore he must be pay a visit this web site and be up to date all the time.

my web site :: alta white

Anonymous said...

I feel that is among the most significant info for me.
And i'm glad reading your article. But should statement on some general things, The site style is great, the articles is truly great : D. Good activity, cheers

my weblog;

Anonymous said...

This is my first time go to see at here and i am actually pleassant to read all
at alone place.

Here is my page: buy proactol

Anonymous said...

It's a pity you don't have a donate button!
I'd certainly donate to this outstanding blog! I guess for now i'll settle for bookmarking
and adding your RSS feed to my Google account.
I look forward to new updates and will talk about this blog with my Facebook group.

Talk soon!

Here is my weblog - virility ex pill

Anonymous said...

I'll right away snatch your rss as I can't to find your email subscription link or e-newsletter service.
Do you have any? Please permit me understand so
that I may just subscribe. Thanks.

my website :: free penile enlargement

Anonymous said...

It's not my first time to pay a visit this site, i am visiting this website dailly and get good facts from here daily.

Also visit my blog :: acai berry select

Anonymous said...

Great site. Lots of helpful information here. I am sending it to several pals
ans additionally sharing in delicious. And obviously, thank you for your

My site: genf20 plus

Anonymous said...

Yesterday, while I was at work, my cousin stole my iphone and tested to see if it can survive a 25 foot
drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My iPad is now broken and she has 83 views.
I know this is entirely off topic but I had to share it
with someone!

Also visit my web-site :: breast actives

Anonymous said...

Heya i'm for the primary time here. I found this board and I to find It really useful & it helped me out much. I'm hoping to
provide one thing again and aid others like you
aided me.

my web-site :: fiber content

Anonymous said...

I blog frequently and I genuinely thank you for your content.
Your article has truly peaked my interest. I will
bookmark your blog and keep checking for new information
about once a week. I subscribed to your RSS feed as well.

Check out my homepage: buy flotrol

Anonymous said...

This article is in fact a pleasant one it helps new net visitors, who are wishing
in favor of blogging.

Feel free to surf to my website :: semenax ingredients

Anonymous said...

What's up, all is going perfectly here and ofcourse every one is sharing data, that's in fact good,
keep up writing.

My web page - buy idol lip ()