Respect, Love, Support, Honor
Hope In Healing
Promising you and me that today's thoughts will be short... no great and exciting antics of the little ones yet to report. Cub sightings on the web-cam at http://www.bear.org/
Lily and her fan page have exceeded 78,000 fans, and I continued to be captivated by her and the little one!
Yesterday's blog allowed for some wonderful thoughts and comments, and again I am blessed for all great things including the comments and thoughts. Thanks!
Yes it is true, in one sentence I can be talking about the beauty of a child with Cancer, the beauty shared between us; the frank conversations ending with me kissing the bald head of a little kid who has lost their hair while maintaining their warrior spirit through it all: chemotherapy, IV poles, needle sticks, parents who are fussing, crying in separate rooms, yet still with a spirit that is powerful, a smile that can fill a room and a soul that is wise and old beyond human understanding.
I can leave that wonderful time with that child, get in my car and go around a corner... pull to the side and bow my head, krumple my kleeenex and cry like a child and cry my prayers to the Universal Oneness and scream for the world to hear.... CANCER SUCKS.
A very dear young woman that I was privilege to work with once had a tattoo put on her back after the death of her best friend. It took up most of her lovely back and across the top in bold letter is said: CANCER SUCKS
and then in the center of her back there was a pink, yes pink Care Bear... under the pink Care Bear was the name of her beloved 28 year old friend who had died from Cancer... Gone too soon. Recently she sent me this post on her Facebook:
"A new report shows 40% of cancers can be prevented. Vaccines and lifestyle changes are the answer here. Cancer is an awful disease. It does NOT discriminate against color, race, age, sexual orientation, religious preference OR political party. CANCER SUCKS!!! Let’s kill it together!!!" (Tonja Mae Phillips, Cancer Survivor and a very dear heart to me, NC)
So my friends, yes it is true... the author of Healing Heartaches indeed will tell you, from many many years both personally and professionally, CANCER SUCKS... The folks in today's photos are survivors, some of sudden and unexpected losses, some of loved ones who died of Cancer... The fellow on the left in the shades? A lovely man, his son died suddenly... 2 years later he died of Cancer. Yes... Cancer does not discriminate nor care that you have gone through many losses or troubles...
And I will also tell you there are warriors who are diagnosed with this awful disease. Warriors who face this disease with grace, dignity, and fight the fight of the ages... some win battles that we cannot imagine. Some conquer Cancer; they beat all odds, all predictions and even doctors shake their heads in wonder and amazement. Some are admitted to hospice care only to be discharged later on secondary to doing so well! There are those right now who are fighting that fight, those in treatment, those who I have received emails from just last week saying that they are now Cancer-Free after treatments ended and the final PET scan results were read... and for that I give thanks, and So It Is. I heard from a pal on Facebook last evening whose "family of choice adopted Mom" had just recovered from a breast surgery and all Cancer cells were cleared. There are good stories out there. Look at the folks walking the three day walk in Pink Shirts ~ Komen For A Cure ~ Survivors, Warriors, Respectful, Beautiful, Graceful, all. Look at LiveStrong and Lance... Look at the Make A Wish Foundation and the eyes of the children with Cancer... they do not focus on the disease, they focus on living in the n-o-w. We could learn well from the children!
In all things there again is the mind-body-spirit connection, there is the seasons of change, a time to live a time to die, a time to grieve and a time to heal... and so the circle continues. It is all about balance, balance, balance! Humor & Heartache, Laughter & Tears, Cancer Sucks & Love Is Brilliant! See where I am headed here? haha
The web continues... and on it all things considered and beauty found when the sun catches it in just the right light.
Remembering all those I have loved and lost to Cancer and all of those I have had the honor to work with throughout the years and those who have loved and grieved the losses. Sending you healing thoughts across the winds. Aho ~ ~ ~
Walk in Beauty
Dr SES
author of Healing Heartaches
13 comments:
Great picture this morning, Dr. SES
I am proud to say I am part of that picture.
CANCER does SUCK, it has touch my friends and
family. My sister fought back with positive attitude, good support system, faith, prayers
and love. It can be BEAT down, many have done
it. Thanks for a wonderful blog this A.M.
F I R M
Although the pain I suffered when I lost Elke to cancer was awful, knowing I had you to talk to made everything so much easier! I really hope people begin protecting children by allowing them acess to the vaccinations that are availale. I am starting to sense a pull in becoming an advocate.
~Tonya Mae
Love these thought provoking blogs, as well as the comments.
Some look forward to the Emmys all year...others find them shallow.
Some may believe "Cancer Sucks."
Perhaps it is our attitude towards Cancer that sucks.
It's just the genes being creative...mutating.
I loved taking care of my spouse with Cancer...a fortunate soul to have many caring for him.
If anything "sucks" it is death. Many I have spoken to feel the people who die are the very lucky ones....it is the ones who are left behind who suffer as they have no one to care for them. All the therapy in the world will not change the fact that many are left behind in poor health struggling to get their basic needs met. As for me, I welcome a cancer diagnosis for myself...as several people have told me I am worth more dead than alive.
I, too, believe in peace & love, compassion & respect. Though treating others well does not insure you will be treated well. Tis an interesting web we all weave. Off to the doctors to have my cancer screening tests redone.......sure to have many fascinating conversations in the waiting room.
Getting the "Cancer Sucks" tattoo was one of the most helpful tools in my healing. When I am wearing a tank top, you would be surprised how many people tap on my shoulder and tell me about a loss they have had. And some just tell me they love the tattoo.
If she was here to see my tattoo, I know she would touch it and smile. So I have always felt when somebody taps my shoulder to talk about it, it is really her letting me know she is still right here.
Dear anonymous,
Although your post demonstrates a tremendous cry for help, it is up to you to get it. After helping your husband to the other side while he battled cancer, it is OK to ask for help. It is OK to seek strength from others.
"Welcome a diagnosis of cancer?" REALLY? Do you think your husband welcomed the diagnosis? Do you think he did not want to battle it? Have you ever given thought to how your husband must have felt having to leave you to grieve without his strength to help ease your pain? Perhaps if he "welcomed" the diagnosis he would have stopped his battle while receiving the diagnosis, and to never hug you, kiss you or fall asleep with you ever again.
I am a 2 time cancer survivor and cancer has recently ravaged my family. I would never and will NEVER welcome a dignosis. I will battle it, for those who are here with me.
For you, dear. I hope you are able to find the help you need. However, it is up to you to find it and then receive it. It is the most important thing you can do for yourself AND your beloved husband.
I hug the memory of a young granddaughter's words at her grandma's funeral. "MY grandmother did NOT die from Cancer, MY grandmother survived cancer for 25 years!!" This family treasured the feisyt & tough women who held their family together and taught them to treasure every day and every blessing, regardless!!!
My aunt is currently at a Hospice Residence and death is near. My poor cousin is begging to get help for herself. Hospice social workers never return any of her calls. She knows from talking to me that she may not be allowed to be with her mother when she dies and may not ever be invited to any support groups. As we chat via Facebook...many are wondering what is the special criteria one must meet to be able to avail themselves of Hospice grief support groups? Many of us were not allowed in bereavement groups. My poor cousin knows her mom may die any day now...how can I help her get the help she needs. What criteria do we need to meet to be allowed in Hospice support groups?
WHAT? to the anonymous one who posts at 12:32PM what? Why in the world would you not be allowed bereavement services? They are mandated by Federal law in hospices across the country dear one... why wouldn't your cousin be bedside? This is not a matter of being "allowed to be present"... Not invited? I have never heard of such... Take a stand my dear... this is your relative, your journey, advocate for your family member as she prepares to step to the other-side. My heart is aching for you, but stand for you and for your family, seek and find the support that hospice provides, if need be call the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization and ask for assistance in this.
Perhaps horrible things happen to us, so we can prevent them from happening to others.
Due to family dynamics, I was "not allowed" to be with my spouse of many decades at the time of death, nor offered any grief or breavement groups, though my insurance company paid Hospice.
NOW....I have the opportunity to fight for my cousin's right to be bedside as her mother's death is imminent. While I do not like being a warrior, I have had to take a stand. Funny, this Hospice likes my persistence and welcomes my strong stand.
IF...IF...IF there is but one underlying theme...it is balance. If we have to fight, we have to care for our battle wounds.
Wow, lots of participation on the comments section today. Good to hear so many people engage and express themselves so freely. My heart goes out to each person touched by cancer. Whether it be as a survivor, a soon to be survivor, or one who has lost a loved one to the monster that cancer is. Fight the good fight, mostly to get what you need. As Dr. Showalter says often "I wish you enough. Enough strength, enough courage, enough love and support. Be kind to yourself. It sets an example for others.
Hopefully....balance can be incorported in any brewing series. When we loss someone we love, we feel like half a person. Imagine half your body gone. If you are left trying to stand on only one leg and accomplish tasks with only one arm, balance is quite crucial.
As we heal from one loss...another is surely right around the corner. We must regain balance over and over.
Healing Heartaches was instrumental in helping me with my grief. Being told it was okay to communicate with my husband and animal totem/totems was the most helpful thing anyone ever said to me in my journey.
My grieving is balanced....my living is not.
Is there a place to list our guesses for COB?
Still think that blog got the most comments.
Thanks for all your comments! This is a lively discussion today to be certain... the thoughts and ideas will continue, please continue your posts.
As for the COB guesses, just keep them going, keep posting them on the original blog for her birthday and I will check it weekly, and let you know the latest guesses in the daily blogs! Yes she has to date gotten the most coments! :) funny how that is :) gotta love her she now has the famous hand, on the famous Healing Heartaches, Stories of Loss and Life and most importantly stories that seem to inspire healing ways ~ Blessings to all who enter here...
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