Thursday, July 12, 2012

Oh I'm Sorry...

Yep just had to share this as I saw it on Facebook this week!
Funny thing is, I shared it on my wall and within two minutes,
I had folks commenting to me that they live it everyday!
Imagine that?
Yes this has been a week of some powerful thoughts I've been told; via email, phone calls, and texts,
along with the comments of readers I can tell I have touched on thoughts and personal and professional experiences happening all over the place.
Now this cartoon that is sadly so very true across the globe.
People who believe and are made to feel that they are soooo sorry
but they only exist when someone needs something or finds it convenient to use or abuse them for their own gain or benefit.
It begs the question,
"what is wrong with people and personal responsibility today".
I am so sick and weary of hearing two words:
"I'm sorry"
that I am about to SNAP.
However in that cartoon, I just love it, as it speaks volumes in the message, and in the overall image.
It would appear from the fast comment under my sharing it, that folks are forgetting about that old thing called
"tough love", "boundaries" and
"self regulation".
Remember that airline steward/ess
that reminds us to put our oxygen mask on first before rendering aide to another?
We have seemingly become a group of folks that give freely to others when the need arises, yet it turns quickly into  enabling and gets those who ask or need into ones who feel somehow entitled and often  to our own harm or downfall.
People need boundaries, need to take best care of self in order to have something to give to others.
One must nourish their bodies and shelter themselves from harm and from those who repeatedly ask and take and do not learn from the past, present and learn to pay it forward with grace and gratitude.
Hand in hand we walk, or we should.
Leaning in is much different than pulling the carpet out from under a person; from taking the faith and trust that is so blindly given and then robbing one of such cherished commodities, thinking it's all restored with two words:
I'm Sorry.
At some point along the way another question must be explored;
sorry for what?
That you got caught?
That the game is at an end?
That the lies or deceit have been exposed?
That one does not play a playa that invented the game?
What a word sorry becomes.
Sorry:  adjective, sor·ri·er, sor·ri·est.
feeling regret, compunction, sympathy, pity, etc.: to be sorry to leave one's friends; to be sorry for a remark; to be sorry for someone in trouble.
regrettable or deplorable; unfortunate; tragic: a sorry situation; to come to a sorry end.
sorrowful, grieved, or sad: Was she sorry when her brother died?
associated with sorrow; suggestive of grief or suffering; melancholy; dismal.
wretched, poor, useless, or pitiful: a sorry horse.
Then what?
After sorry what is next?
  Are fingers pointed and others blamed, fault laid on situations, peer pressure, things that got out of hand, bad choices made again and again...
and once again,
"Oh I'm sorry I exist only when you need someone to pull you out of the trench that you once again are laying in, dug and designed by your own doing" 
Thank you's become seldom said with sincerity as much as longed for with true heart felt expressions and understanding... 
Yes I can see why there were comments under that picture; how folks feel like they have been abused, used, and victimized by those they love, or used up by them along that path of "I'm sorry it won't happen again" or "I don't understand why you don't believe me this time".
Only to be followed by
"only God can judge me"
and the good ole' line of
"I need help with my bills until the tax return of 2015 comes in".
Many must step through their own fears, their own demons, out of their own way to STAND UP
to set boundaries, to self regulate with others who they feel abused and taken advantage by and of.
This is a life to be held sacred, people may have to be served notice;
and that is where it gets hard; where the rubber meets the roads of follow through and follow UP.
 Each person has their own road to travel; rights and with those rights are responsibilities, maybe their should be just agreements, that are sealed in the heart, or re-visited each morning an night;
 and that big ole thing called
sometimes I have to hold my head with my hands and just wonder,
if common sense will come into vogue again.
Then again, maybe those Agreements would make for awesome tattoos on beautiful skin that would serve as daily reminders to be all that people should and can be with their choices
while not offending their beliefs
or the one who gave his life for others
and called to so often to get folks out of the jam or off the sides of the roads they seem to throw themselves into?
Just a thought.
Or those agreements can be an app that is viewed thousands of times a day as new phones and games are played on social media and phones and they just POP UP as the reminder of codes of conduct and self regulation!
I miss back then; when folks sat around a table, worked and played and prayed together.
When you could call a friend at 2am and they would just of course be there, because it was a real need; not a bad habit or threat that once again was a repeat performance of the last one.
when if you needed a couple hundred bucks it was a once in a lifetime need that you felt like you would rather take a beating that have to ask for, and you worked your ass to the bone to pay back; rather than ever ever have to ask again; and went without to be sure that you didn't fall short again.
When calling someone was because you wanted to, not because it was convenient to or that there was a hidden agenda about to come out during the conversation and that conversation was all about the one who called and edged into the "meee meee meee" moment.
Remember taking someone to dinner, knowing they would be mindful of their order because you were paying the bill?  Only to be shocked as they looked over the menu and ordered the most expensive item, just cos’ they were not paying the bill!
Oh for the love of baloney sandwiches and those who care when we step out and into others for just the love of doing it and it is noted.
seems common sense ain't so common anymore.
Let's all just sit back
let God judge it, and maybe he'll pay the mortgage too. Good luck with that, as I'm just sitting here reflecting and keepin it real on this most terrific Thursday.


fluff said...

Wow, Dr. Sherry, another strong but needed message today. I am so sick and tired of I'm Sorry, especially from some people, family members included. Over and over again "I'm Sorry". It gets so very old and ones word no longer means anything but dirt and mud in ones eye! I learned the hard way from too many dollars placed in anothers pocket, my signature on a piece of paper that ended up being my problem and not theirs when the money was short!! You live and learn - you should anyway. I did in that respect!
Take care friends and have a Terrific Thursday. Another busy work day today. I hope everyone is well. /Sandy♥

DrSES said...

Good to see you Sandy! You've been missed, and I can see I've hit home here today with you, as this has been a "keepin it real week" for many. Yes it appears that "sorry" has worn itself out for many around the world, a word that has great meaning for many; yet has been abused beyond measure for others and falls short in meaning and sound to the ears of most. It may be we need to find another word?

Blessings to you today as you are out there in MI, give all my best regards!

oshkosh said...

I got my cheerleader suit on, and I am the head cheerleader on this one!!! This is my be good, and keep my mouth shut week!! But I was here, and S T O M P I N G!!!!!

DrSES said...

good to see YOU osh, happy that you take the time to be here and honored you have your HEAD CHEERLEADER ON there... no need to ever ever keep your mouth shut! i know well enough to know there are many thoughts goin on in there and you are wanting to send em out! so speak what you have on your mind and hold in your heart...

Anonymous said...

Oh I am so sorry. So sorry that I was over at LA. relaxing, no tv, no puter. Now I am trying to catch up with the emails and blogs. I am speachless. Everyone including the good Dr. has used all of the words I was going to use. I hope the message is coming thru loud and clear. It has to be over or it will just have to be OUT. Life is precious and we never know who is next. A family that is so small needs to stick together and there will be a NO SECRET CLAUSE. I hate the all of a sudden phone call and then the secret is known to all and just happened the ones who could help was weathering their own storm away from home. I hope all will soon be over and there will be no more lies and no more secrets. However the good dr. old saying, I DONT TAKE TYLENOL FOR SOMEONE ELSE HEADACHE. I am going to start living that one. Blessings to all. I am soon coming to Florida and taking a search warrant for that Irene, I am firm about that and going to scream. Come on Irene I miss you.

oshkosh said...

They were just thoughts of lessons I have learned relating to all you said in this read today, and how right you are about the things you said. That's why I was cheering.
When I said keeping my mouth shut, was cause we all been through something pertaining to this read,and learned better, like Fluff said. I don't feel like I gotta keep my mouth shut because of those on here, or you. It is just that I was going---YES---out loud all the way through the read. LOL And life is better once we learn to apply what all you said this morning. What's on my mind, and hold in my heart, is that I think YOU NEVER miss the mark. ♥ Dang, that rhymes--LLOOLL

DrSES said...


seems we have some "witnesses" and a lot of AMENS out there for the thoughts of the weeek, as

Friday the 13th is just a blink away, the sun is shining brightly, and its almost time for the daily rains...

so good to hear from so many ... welp except for the few escapees, like ole Sign me A, and FIRM/SCREAM aka Irene that is... and oh how we miss Chris our warrior and breast cancer survivor, though the birds sing that she is doing great! and Laura is working and running and her daughter has once again exceeded exceptions for the MS150 out in TX...

Yes, seems many have a story, just as long as YOU do NOT become the story, it's all good.

blessings dear hearts one and all.