Wednesday, December 19, 2012

There's YOU, and then there's Everyone Else

Just not everyone has the "swag" to look "fresh" in an Ugly Sweater during the holidays!
But, for Greg Korabek, he is just as "fresh" as a clementine during the holidays in his I'm thinkin... and just what we need on this day of a Nation mourning such profound grief as he stands beside his wife Susan on this Christmas of 2012!
Ah, but the Ugly Sweaters are making a return, parties are being held with that being the theme, and if you put "ugly sweater" in the search bar, you are then taken to sites where you will find more than your share from prices that will amuse and then blow the mind!
Greg and Susan are veterans of shock and trauma; loss and pain... they are the parents of Landon Korabek who you have seen on this blog, read about and know of. Their grief triggered once again by the events of Sandy Hook, the holidays a painful reminder of days when the world was kinder, more normal, when all was wonderful in their family and their world.
A young man gone too soon as a teenager.
They were stunned into the world of grief, magnified by reporters blowing up their phone, knocking at the door, misquoting them in the press and seemingly not understanding their repectful requests for "privacy" in the worst times of their lives.
They had family to stand by them, to hold them tight and to leave when they were asked, and a tight knit neighborhood to hold them, to gather them in their arms, and to love them through the uncertainity of their horror for the long haul. They had people speak when silence was what they longed for and desperately wanted, yet they tuned out as talk continued.
They chose to heal through the pain of horrific loss of a child rather than to dwell in the dark. It became a choice for them.
They sought counsel when they were ready, they found solace in their love of each other, and their love of life.
They had moments of respite from the storm through music, friends, their son who lived away from home.
From shattered hearts through time they recreated a stain glass within that could shine in the darkest of times with hard work and tears to see beyond the heavens.
They walked through hell into the light it seems.
They had and continue to have each other and through it all have chosen to embrace the light of healing, and it has been a walk through hell for them both.
This year, they join with their neighbors and all have Christmas lights that folks come from all over to see, to drive so slowly through that in order to get into your own driveway takes longer than to travel distances.
Yet they join in with knowing that their son is watching from a distance. They are decorating now knowing that he is laughing at his Dad with certain strings of lights, as his brother now has a girlfriend and has moved closer to home. The music is playing again, full blast and with keener notes resounding throughout their systems and in their hearts.
Susan and Greg have started a foundation in memory of Landon; they host an annual 
they are working through their pain of the loss of a child through movement, through keeping him alive in music, in action, in One Love.
He is quite active from the other side this time of the year as "his ornaments" on the tree have a way of "falling" at particular times, he was quite the trickster in his young life and it seems that has not changed! He sends messages through the red bird often, and love never dies... One Love beating through many hearts remembered always.  
What once was silence, was thought to never ever be the same; is healing, is growing.
Greg is wearing the best of the ugly sweaters!
So creative is he.
The arms of that sweater carefully cut out to be used for leg warmers, oh yes he is
"fly" as they say, just "fresh" with swag on.
I can only imagine that Landon fell from one cloud to another hysterically laughing at that one, thinking "only Mom would have her arm around him for that picture".
There is hope in heartache, there is healing in horror, there is faith that moves mountains out of the way.
And yet, there is a times to allow whatever it is to be what it is. The pain, the shock, the devastation to be what it is in the day, the week, the moments of honoring, of burials, of tributes.  Advocacy will be born from tragedy for many. We will hug those close to us closer as we move into celebrations of Christmas and resolve to do what we want or choose in the New Year.
We will remember those fallen for a long time to come, we will remember their families, friends, the communites.
We must work hard to find balance in our lives, time to cry, to laugh, to know joys that are ours. To limit our exposure to pain whether it is ours or another's, and embrace our lives full tilt and wide open while using our skills of being mindful to our surroundings.
We make so many choices each moment we are alive; we choose to show and be compassionate or not with each breath.
We choose to extend to another or not.
We choose kindness or indifference with each step we make.
Today I hope you dance, find the strength to look for your best UGLY SWEATER and put it on... Take the plunge, take Greg's lead... find the scissors and make you some leg warmers, you are sure to be a hit in the streets, in the stores, at work or with friends.
Be brave.
Christmas is coming.
Now that I've scoured the sites of ugly sweaters, I do have to tell you ... there are some "beauts" out there... but not one I tell you has a beautiful Santa on a red sweater out there.
I have looked, I have searched, I have really really looked.
No NO NO... do not send me one, I was looking for Dot/Mom/Cob... for what probably is the 5th year in a row now.
But, after seeing Greg in this photo, I now know that there is Greg.. and there is everyone else!
I wish you all that you need to find courage today, to be all that you can be for the holidays that are in front of us given the aftermath of such horrific tragedy.
I wish and I pray that you will look deeply for and find all the joys for the best Christmas ever while continuing to hold UP those in Newtown and send them strength to move through their days there.
Remember dear ones,
there is YOU, and then there is everyone else,
shine your light brightly as others may need to renew their light from yours... and we all continue to add our light to others, we are all connected. 
Walk in Beauty,

1 comment:

fluff said...

Heh Heh Heh - love that sweater and the leg warmers from the sleeves. Very cute - my friend goes to a ugly Christmas sweater contest every year and she happened to win this year.
Thank you Dr Sherry for your words and a bit of distraction from the unending topic we have endured in every news cast and on-line since last Friday. Take care Friends - hope you find that ugly Christmas sweater and wear it well and proud. Have a wonderful day. /Sandy♥