Tuesday, January 15, 2013

We Teach others how to treat us...

Stress free
living in the no pressure zone!
Interesting that when you ask most people they will tell you, they just want to be stress free, or to live in a place where everyone just can get along and enjoy the moments, the time spent as friends, family and communities together.
Yet we hear of and witness such lack of regard, respect, private space and ugliness that goes unchecked or unaccounted for that it makes me wonder at times.
Why can't we all just get along?
Why can't families bury those hatchets and embrace moments that will never been seen, felt, experienced again in ways unimagined?
When we see children act out, why is it not addressed calmly rather than screaming matches and the same behaviors repeated over and again, until new ways of behaving become common place in homes and in communities and parents, Grandparents are treated and come to expect less than respect and worth as wisdom keepers of value?
Have people forgotten how to engage in calm conversations while teaching and while setting boundaries of behavior and increasing socialization for their children along with their peers?
It lends one to wonder doesn't it?
If you were to watch daytime television, or listen in to conversations in local breweries or restaurants and are a people watcher, you see many of the things I am talking about.
Cell phones at the tables of restaurants, texting taking the place of conversations at establishments at tables of 4.
Laughter is less, fingers are flying on little devices, and children that have little to say to adults other than "good/fine/ok".
We do teach others how to treat us.
We also are responsible for teaching children and our peers when enough is enough.
R e S p E c T
is earned, through actions, through life, through good deeds and movements of our being.
Once earned it is commanded in the actions and behaviors of others.
If you treat the garbage man the same way you would treat your Mother, than there seems a reciprocal lesson is being taught on human interactions, and being passed on to the children.  When our children are held to a standard of conduct; taught respect and told their job is to maintain grades, do chores, show and demonstrate attitudes of winners and do their best each day; it is clear and concrete.
When little ones are spoken to with respect and with clarity it becomes easy to hold lines, to explain without emotion, without yelling and without craziness, while maintaining a "no pressure zone" that allows everyone to feel safe and to be happy.  
It is when those traps occur, when emotions take over rational thinking that everything goes to "stress in a heartbeat", when emotions flare and hell breaks loose, that the lessons are out the window and chaos is waiting to create one fine mess in the hearts and minds of people.
And then?
Space is violated, beliefs are torn, relationships and trust are broken down.
Repairs are costly and often the whole thing never runs quite the same.
Who suffers most?
Everyone, yet the children are the most impressionable as their brains are still developing and yet their skills of playing one against the other are keen.
We must always be consistent when it comes to the message.
"I'll do  my work to make your work possible, and the bottom line is, you know what you must do, as I have told you"
Work the plan!
"Nothing works unless you do" Maya Angelou

Consistency, follow through, love and honest conversations allow others to benefit from our teachings... and through that we teach others to treat us well.
We then do not settle for less.
The road may have some unexplained rocks that make us stumble from time to time, yet we get up, dust off the ouch and move along, just move along... We are all destined for greatness if we only walk our truth, in honor, honesty and our teaching of those who walk beside us and learn from them along the path.
We are all lifelong learners.

Walk in Beauty


fluff said...

Good Morning Dr. Sherry and friends. What a good read this morning Dr. Sherry and oh so true. If only these words were out there for many more to read and learn. Wouldn't it be a wonderful world if it could be stress free? If people would learn to respect themselves and to respect others it would be so grand. It would a so good if people could "bury the hatchet" and quit holding grudges against loved ones and friends. How peaceful it would be. Thank you Dr. Sherry for the thought provoking words.

Well, wishing each of you a peaceful day and some sunshine and warmth in your window. It is cold, cold, cold here in SE Michigan. In the teens but I will take the cold if it just did not snow or freeze. We have been fortunate to have had very little snow so far. But this is cold! Have a Terrific Tuesday /Sandy♥

Anonymous said...

A well written and needed piece of advice for adults and children. Sometimes I wish cell phones that allow you to text would go out of business. It has cost many a family to grow away from each other with kids and adults sitting around and their fingers are flying on the phone. Just look around you when you are out in public, resturants, church, shopping etc.. Bury the hatchet, why bury when a few weeks or a few days the same thing happens again and again. There are some people in this world that thrives on making other people miserable, critizing them, wanting to bully them or just plain out lie to them, the world and families are in quiet a mess. People cant talk to each other to solve problems, they dont know how to talk. Just dont say anything and quit the fussing and fighting. Me, I am staying out of the stress zone. I love my life and what I do too much to be worried about people who dont know how to act. I say play it forward and forget about the negative stuff going on in peoples life. There are some people who never learn and when something happens to their love one it is too late to regret the anguish they have put on their loved one. Thank you for keeping it real DR. SES. God Bless Our Soldiers and their families. God Bless our President.