Monday, April 19, 2010

WHO ARE YOU ~ THOUGHTS FOR THE BEGINNING OF THE WEEK

OK,
Olivia ROCKED AT SOCCER!
~4-0 THUNDER ROLLED~

Olivia guarded that goal so that they never got close to scoring! That's Nana's girl all right~ and from time to time she would glance at the side line and see me pound my chest over my heart and point at her... and she would smile... make a fist, hit her chest over her little heart and point right back with that beautiful smile...
MY HEART ALMOST EXPLODED WITH PRIDE RIGHT THERE ON THE FIELD...

She is a fierce little one, she was a joy to watch and a true competitor with the rest of her team so appropriately called "THUNDER"...

She is happy; she knows exactly who she is for right now at 9! I am both proud and most happy for her in and about that.  And of course it makes me think of so many things, so many others... wondering as usual my thoughts go out to so many....

Who are You? Deep down inside, are you who you want to be? Knowing we are forever in transition, always growing always changing... but in our core values, our heart space... deep inside are we who we want to be? Do we represent those things we see in those we know or know of in others? I look at Olivia and Joan and wish for others the love that they share with each other! They truly love each other, each moment shared... they laugh with wild abandon; love with greatness and sing not caring who is listening and dance in the rain.

As we left the "greatest show on Earth" we couldn't help but notice families and children arguing and kids crying after experiencing such and extraordinary event. Parents with short fuses, trying to find their way to the parking lot, pulling children along, fussing and yelling and carrying on in ways that made us feel sad for them. They were not in a "happy place" and that was more than apparent to all. I couldn't help but think of all the times I have seen similar outings involving families with similar outcomes!

I just don't understand people at times! Wassup with that?  Don't you go out to have a good time?  What in the world happens do you think? Oh well I am just not sure why I would go out and then let someone get in my "happy place" ~ but then again that is just me I guess!

ah, where was I... oh yes,

Who are You? Deep down inside, are you who you want to be?

Imagine for one quick moment that you had to answer that question in detail, in an essay that only you would read.
          What would you say?
No, not self- aggrandizing fluff, but really down deep where you live.
                        Who are you?
What do you stand for?
 Could you really, honestly put into words a clear and honest, thorough description of the person that you are?         
            It is a telling exercise in self examination.


Think about the best traits you have. Are they things you admire in others and only wish you really had, or are they a real reflection of the person you are when you look in the mirror? Everyone has some unique beliefs, gifts, some “personal best” that they can claim. Stay with me here. If we dig deep enough we can explore the best and worst of ourselves. Celebrate the best. Lay out a plan to change those few things that we wish were not in us. Some character trait that we are not proud of. We are all a work in progress. What progress will we make? Are any of us already so perfect, so fabulous that there is not one teeny tiny change we would like to see or make?                       Change is possible.



This is not meant to be an exercise in self punishment, but rather a private conversation we have with our heart.
How can I grow to be the person I know I was meant to be?



How do I want to be remembered?
How does my life impact the world?
Am I a part of the problem or a part of the solution?

Sound like big questions, and they are.

If we don’t ask this of ourselves, will we plod along and hope for the best?
I believe that it is our duty to know, really know ourselves.
Once we take ownership of the best and worst of ourselves we can chart a course that adds value to our life.

I am most proud of myself when I do the right thing. When I am giving, helping, loving and kind.
I am the least proud when I waste even a moment irritated by some small insignificant issue. Least proud when I pass up an opportunity to grow, to learn, to develop my potential as a worthy human being.


<><><>
I knew someone once who told me that he had never looked at his life that carefully. He had not developed much insight into what made him tick. I felt sad for him. He identified himself only by the feedback others gave him. He had a job that he did not get fired from so he thought of himself as a good employee. He drank a twelve pack each day so he defined himself as a “guys, guy”. He had a dog that he was devoted to so he felt he was an animal lover. Watched football so he saw himself as “sports-oriented”.

You get the picture. How can we live our lives without real insight into our own feelings, our own impact on the world around us?
I asked him how he wanted to be remembered. He said he guessed he might not be remembered by very many people when it was all said and done. In thinking about that, I reflected on some of the things that I felt defined him. I acknowledged some of his gifts. He was a wonderful landscaper, had an amazing artistic eye. He was a natural with animals. A man with an uncanny ability to recall historic events, and a political junkie


I also knew him to be a devout alcoholic with a caustic tongue. A judgmental man.


Quick to anger, a master manipulator. Maybe his lack of “insight” was self limited because soul searching might have held too many mixed results. I was amazed that he really believed that he had never looked very intensely at his life. That he didn’t feel he ‘knew” himself. It was as if his life was not his to take charge of.

I want to be the captain of my own ship. I need to know the best and worst of myself. I desire to discover every gift I have, and to seek change in the areas of my life that I have neglected. To cull the weeds from the garden, to plant new seeds, to nurture in myself traits that I define as admirable.
To become my best self. Without reservation.
 I want my life to count for something.
I will be the person I choose to be, in all things.


At the foundation, I must know myself as fully as I can. It is my responsibility to seek insight. I will not judge myself harshly. We are each human and none are perfect. I don’t expect perfection from myself or others. I do expect a lot, but not perfection. As in all things we accomplish, the journey is where the value is, not the destination. Each new day brings with it the promise of improvement. I am a work in progress. The promise I make to myself, is to progress each day in some meaningful way. To make some small contribution to mankind. To be a good and faithful steward of my life.



So. take a personal inventory. Easy to see in others that which we might overlook in ourselves. Pat yourself on the back where it is deserved, change what you may, become all that you are meant to be. Live your life mindfully.
Make today count for you

The fire is burning brightly this morning the embers are hot, the messages are on the chilly winds of love, remembrance, and HOPE in strength to those fighting a battle, in need of reassurance, faith and care... You are with some powerful friends, in the arms of the angels... those with their warpaint on for and with you always. Have faith, fight strong...
STOMP INTO YOUR DAY WITH HOPE AND CONVICTION

Laura's daughter Shauna rode that bicycle to find the cure for MS... 69 miles in under 4 hours... Take that MS, and be gone with yourself. A reader wants to raise some $$$ to join in the fight readers, will you join her? Coins in the floorboard of the car is a good place to start...
She rode that bike all week-end...raising money with Laura there in Texas waiting at the finish line and soon Laura will return home to Florida to continue raising money for MS...

Leaving Maryland and my girls today, headed into DC... the journey continues, friends to see, books to sign and sell...

Wherever you are and whatever you are doing... do it the best you can! S T O M P, CELEBRATE YOU...
DANCE INTO THE WEEK, DANCE INTO MONDAY, YOU ARE HERE RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW, OWN THE DAY...

Walk In Beauty,
DRSES

Healing Heartaches, Stories of Loss and Life
http://www.drsherryeshowalter.com

6 comments:

chris said...

Good Morning--wonderful blog today-hurrah for Olivia! There's is nothing that girl can't do! Especially with Nana around!! As for what I want to be..I still wrestle with that one..my conversations with myself find me all over the place. I still haven't narrowed it down!! So I guess I will contine to argue with myself--even if it does drive my daughter crazy.....I personally think I deserve to drive her crazy a little bit since she drove me crazy growing up!! I am so proud of all my children especially the Mustang..And she is bringing up a couple of little Mustangs!!They are all wonderful..Have a beautiful Monday all..

Anonymous said...

I fully know myself. It is the only way to go. I am strong because I see little value in being weak and refuse to be helpless. I rarely "settle". I have know some failures, but because I refuse to settle, I in the end succeed in all that mtters. It's a charmed life I have chosen. Today I am washing windows. They will sparkle! After that I am on flea patrol so watch out you little pests....
You are soon to be history. The opportunities are limitless to experience all that this life has to offer. Only time is limited. Thanks again for the thought provoking BLOG. I hate to toot my own horn but.... BEEP BEEP. I am a Friewalker. I choose self-knowledge because I cannot, will not be who others define me as. I have not finished becomming all that I will be.
sometimes I amaze even myself. Have I got it going on or what. You re-inforce all the right stuff in me Doc. Thanks. Will STOMP the stuffin out of this day!

Anonymous said...

hello
I had to put my thinking cap on for this one... not an easy task for a monday morning....
I am a survivor, warrior, helper, funny, sad, and an awesome, wicked cool mom.... I will be remembered as all of these... perception of self is a great challenge... STOMP .. into my own heart for further reflection.....

Anonymous said...

If you percieve yourself as helpless you are. If you percieve yourself as awesome, you are. See yourself as an "unlucky" person, you will be. It is ALL about self perception. What others tell us about ourselves is not always true. But deep down inside, we know the truth about ourselves. I might not like to own all my truths, but I do know what they are. If you feel shy or reluctant to do a serious self evaluation, it will be a costly error. How can we be true to ourselves if we do not really dig dep and discover who we are in our hearts and minds? I had an experience of long standing denial years ago. It was not because I did not know the truth, but rather because I understood that fully revealng the truth to myself would either make me change a big piece of my life, or label myself afraid of the alternative. No one can value the quality of my life more than I do. While I let somone else control me and bein charge of me, it actually twisted my head around. Only I could make the choice to allow it to continue. And I did for way too long. This I think is the big leap we must make in self knowledge. It's all there niggling at you anyway. It comes out as self doubt, or self loathing. I believe that I cannot fully love another, if I first don't love myself enough to take big action when I have allowed my life to be derailed by someone else brow beating me into accepting their demeaning beliefs about me. I deserve better, but we all get what we demand and accept in life. It was an important lesson, and painful. I had to challenge myself to make a huge change. I am better for having done so. It wasn't easy, but the pay off was worth the pain and effort. It felt really risky because I had come to believe what somone else convinced me of. Even though I knew they were being mean and controlling, I had gotten good at self doubt. I will NOT make that mistake again. A hard learned lesson, but one that will govern the way I lead the rest of my life.
Sorry for the rant. Just wanted to share.

Anonymous said...

Today was a very thought provoking Blog. I am still thinking about it. I have been off and on all day and that is unsusual for me. It has been awhile since I considered a real assessment of how I see myself, and yet that seems strange to me. I think I have always felt that I know myself well, but today, I am looking into this belief more carefully. As always, the Blogs are food for thought.

Anonymous said...

Thanks Dr. SeS! I am home, I am! I am exhausted, and I am excited, and I AM! I will try to catch up on blogs, but what I saw today is pretty thought provoking...so therefore, I know me pretty well...I'm pooped, and going to bed, gratefully! Shawna is a little sore, but happy! She beat her "best total time" by 5 minutes! When you ride 170 miles in less than 10 hours...you got a right to ache, but she stayed focused. Talk about "knowing who you are!" Thanks ya'll so much for all the positive powerful prayers, thoughts and STOMPS! It even kept the weather better than expected! Shawna got overcast tan! Amazing!! :-)