Friday, November 27, 2009


Dot & Linda
My Mom & My Aunt

Well we survived Thanksgiving! I hope you had a blessed Thanksgiving...Most of us probably ate too much; at some point took to the couch under the pretence of watching football and before you knew it the sounds could have rocked the house... ZZZZzzzzzzz ah but another wonderful holiday had by all! 
READY.... SET... 12:01 AM it's time:

By the time this posts, many many people will already have left their houses on their way to find that special deal, special bargain today...

All of a sudden as if magic had happened, a switch gets turned in the brains of many... the ads on televisions and papers have turned to jolly ole Saint Shopping. Stores are preparing, merchants pacing in their homes with visions of dollar signs dancing in their heads... Retail workers a twitter; scared for their lives of those who will line up; those who will barge through the doors and be sleep deprived from last night... and hopes of a day like days of old will fill their senses. 
IT IS BLACK FRIDAY. The day after Thanksgiving. But this year is may be different; customers, kids, Santa and retailers are worried, they fear the people won't come and grab and pull for that same item. You know many of those same things lay in the stores just the day before and many will probably be there next week, OK, maybe they will cost a buck to two more!
Our economy has us tightening belts; jobs are gone for some; times are lean, businesses trying to stay afloat. My what a grim reaper I sound like today, but I am really not you know! Just keeping it real.  I still believe in Santa Claus.

I can remember being one of those people who got up at 0-dark-thirty one or two times myself; got a coffee and went to the mall with all those other lunatics! I think it was the year of the "cabbage patch kids", or and then again one time my Godson D'Vante was wanting something really really bad and it was really really really special!  if memory serves me right... I have to tell ya, it was amazing, people are just crazed at that time of the morning. Those times were enough for me, although I will admit to doing it one more time since moving to Florida with the family during the normal daytime hours with the family; you know creating a "new" family tradition! Talk about a "non-hallmark-moment"! WE spent the entire time looking for each other in the Mall; nerves frayed beyond words; people pushing/shoving, not being nice, mothers and fathers screaming at their kids, yanking, pulling merchandise from each others hands ... mayhem, chaos.  And I ask you... WHY?  Sales? Bargains?  What?  I cannot get it!  Perhaps it is the thrill, the excitement, the need to feel like you are part of the pack, or the drama... I like to save money like the next person, but c'mon now! I would have paid extra not to have my nerves plucked by having to go through all of that! AND, it can be dangerous!

I have however, enjoyed a punkin spice latte from Starbucks (which I call $5 bucks sometimes), while sitting in a Mall; just people watching during times like this. It is truly amazing to watch people create their very own chaos as they walk fast; store to store; grabbing, shoving, eyes shifting from item to item. Grabbing things; important things, like a mixer/blender/dicer/micer/whateveryoucallit thing. You and I both know from that description how much effort and time is really going into picking out that those special gifts for that most special person now don't we? haha You don't see many men on Black Friday; nope...most men are laid back. If you wanna see men; go to the stores on Christmas Eve; that's when you will see a lot of men, and it is then you will see the looks that will remind you of a "deer in the headlights" look! haha  Gotta love em though, they are precious indeed, but they seem to think the shelves will have just that perfect size and perfect gift right there at the last minute waiting for them!

Black Friday: The first unofficial shopping day to kick off Christmas shopping that started with the 1st Macy's parade back in 1924!  The term "Black Friday" has been traced back to the 60's when the media used that term to refer to the retailers as going from being in the "red" (showing a loss on the books) to being in the "black" (turning a profit)! One could only hope that for them this year, especially the little independent privately stores! We are all waiting for our "bail out", all us regular folk. I find it particularly interesting that most folks have that day off work, ( hospice and health care of course are never off) most people that is except the retail world and the banking world! Funny how that is eh?

Black Friday now being the official ringing of the holiday bell reminds me of the usual dread of those who are struggling with holidays after the loss of a loved one. The holidays bring up those grief reactions even for those who have been doing OK after their loss; triggering those "missing" moments of the old times, the old traditions and times shared. Some report just wishing and hoping that they will just wake up and the whole thing be over; the gaiety, the songs, the shoppers, the tinsel and merriment... they have to find creative ways to engage and to find their way through during this time of the year. I often will suggest if shopping is just to much, perhaps they can do things differently; make a list and ask a friend to shop for them (there are those who love to shop and engage in the madness!); shop online; send cards instead... stay out of the Mall all together if that is what you would prefer! Some folks just don't do gifts.
Support during this time of the year with friends, family and community means so much to those who are facing challenges, loss, struggle; grieving and missing. I urge you to let others know of your needs during these times. Check out your local resources to see if they are offering a group or special program for the holidays, look into a faith community; create a ritual for yourself that is affirming and that brings comfort. Look at the ritual of Black Friday; it has certainly caught on~ What was once mainly an East Coast "thing" is now known all over!

Healing Heartaches, Stories of Loss and Healing
"An evening at Tiffany's"
with the author December 8
Tiffany's Restaurant and owner Paul Hittos
welcoming me to autograph books and speak to the community
on Surviving The Holidays: Grieving The Loss of A Loved One
Palm Harbor Florida

Paul is caring for his community! Perhaps you can talk with members in your community to offer similar programs as well. We are all interconnected in our relations and in our commitment to caring.

Like it or not.... by the time you have read this Black Friday will be in full swing as will the holidays!  Life is what you make, so make it grand ~~~~~

Walk In Beauty.

1 comment:

Irene said...

Not a scroge at all, h o w e v e r :
I would rather drink battery acid than
participate in the BLACK FRIDAY madness.
A nice day-after-holiday OFF, sunshine,
peace and happy to be alive moments.

EyeScream !