Thursday, May 13, 2010

~TEARS ~ happy, sad, joy, heartaches,healing ways,

Beauty
Tears of Amazing Grace



Mornin... mornin... oh what a beautiful mornin ~
Coffee's ready and so am I ~ ready to greet the day,
      "Good morning my friend, my beautiful morning... it's ME"

I have so enjoyed sitting with my coffee and re-reading this Weeks comments of others! I have smiled, I have dried a tear or two... I have laughed out loud in the dark and stillness of the morning as I await the sun's morning light to creep up from its sleep and dance on the Spanish Moss... FANTASTIC comments, all rich in words, in meanings and in their thoughts... "Wado" to all ~ I am honored, and my heart is filled...
The clown at the Ridge just tickled me real good... oops... that was "my MOTHER" LOLs
Lizzy is in rare form, Irene lovingly referring to me once again as DYS... heehe
Chris stomping herself silly with shin splints and counting the days until she gets off the plane in Tampa home again with her NY attitude of a warrior indeed ~
Days away from completing chemo  is Jill... Climb like and with HOPE my friend ~
Vicki last to read, last to comment... get with it dear, the party is goin on here ~
Andrea with her bubbles and noodle playing with the spirits who ride on the backs of the dolphins on Honeymoon Island... STOMP!
Joan, "where's the mama" in rare form indeed with her memories... Olivia knowing in a hand made card that she could pick the mama out in a field of roses in a "heartbeat"... That's Nana's girl all right! Hey... "what about the Nana's card?" LOL

The family coming to /Florida in July ~ We Be Goin to Disney!
Can you say "hot hot hot" LOL\/

So many comments, so many thoughts and so many out there ...
owning their moments, creating memories...  I love it...
I just love em all... WARRIORS...

Tearful at times... I have heard it said that tears are the telescopes that allow us to see into the heavens...

How is your coffee this morning? Mine is delicious... almost as good as Joan makes up there in Maryland... Guess Olivia is still dreamin' not yet to get up and STOMP into another best day ever yet for Nana's girl! Soon though, very soon ~
My good friends/neighbors have been gone for days although it feels like months now... The four-leggeds are missing their "aunt Sandy" and ready for her lovin' care with visits. Yep, they just packed up the RV, put the doodle bug on a hitch behind it and left us all here... off to GA or somewhere in the woods, just the two of them, can you imagine? Just like that! Gone... our husband by proxy... and Sandy, our wife by proxy too... what if we need something fixed? What if we need her ... our wife by proxy to help us cook or tend to the four-leggeds or talk about world affairs? They just like that... abandon us!
AND... to top it all off... they are going to see Lily the Black Bear, HOPE and Dr Lyn Rogers this year too !  You can bet I am working on my list of "must have gifts" to punish them for that trip they are taking without me! Well ok, feeling like I was missing them just a tad, I did break down and mow their yard... didn't want the joint to look abandoned just because we are feeling abandoned you know ~ oh alright... I know.... cry me a river right???

Speaking of crying, and tears, and such....


Tears of Joy and Tears of Sorrow... happy tears/sad tears.... Tears are tears, sorta like parts are parts....
are ya feelin me here???


There is release in tears.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8cInOyjFQA&feature=related\
Be sure and click and come back when you are done!
We cry because we are overwhelmed by the emotion of the experience.
Why on earth do we see tears as weakness.
It takes great strength to allow ourselves the vulnerability of tears. My very dear friend Audrey cannot cry it seems... try as she might, she cannot get those tears out no matter how hard she tries or how much she wants to.  Seems the ducts are stopped up... Now that my friends is very sad. I have finally talked her into seeing her doc about that...
where was I?
"The soul would have no rainbow if the eye had no tears" {Chief Joseph}

Are death and tragic events the only times tears are understood? Even then, when others around is feel helpless to assuage the tears they kick into ‘fix it” mode and look for a quick fix.
They want to divert our attention, dry our eyes, soothe our ravaged hearts.
It is because they just don’t know how to see our pain, our tears, and stand quietly by and let us release the pain.
We sometimes just need to cry. And that is OK; we do not need to talk about it; justify it or need someone to be privy to it... we just need to do it and be done with it.
So get you a box of generic kleenex and Krumple a few... maybe even schedule yourself your very own cry party... a pity party if you need a name for it... GET it out of your system ...






For whatever the physiology behind tears, when the crying stops, we are relieved, calmed, spent. And then... move on...
Get the party started... the party is
                              YOUR LIFE...



"When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight."  Kahlil Gibran






Tears are too often held back. Choked back. Sometimes we need a good sobbing, blubbering, tortuous crying jag to get it all out, to restore our balance.
Tears splashing down our faces, mascara streaks, nose blowing, bent at the waist, or thrown across the bed weeping to work out the pain.
These episodes are not infinite. I have heard people express their fears through the years, "if I ever start crying I don't think I will ever stop." Trust me... YOU will.

Tears fulfill an emotional need, they stop at some point, but we must give ourselves and others the opportunity to vent.
These are tears of sorrow and angst, and pain, physical and emotional.
Tragedy spoken of in a physical way.
Some feel that have to cry when embracing their memories... somehow it gives their memories more power or more love somehow... Not sure that I agree with that, but then again, it is each person's story...
The important thing to remember is to not "become" the story!






Tears are a Summer Shower for the soul. Cleansing, refreshing. They well up from deep within our hearts.
They express when words are inadequate. But then we move into the beauty of the world around us, those living among us, the newness of the dawn around us... we move to now... to creating magic around us and new moments and experiences that will ultimately become memories to cherish and hold and that will sustain us ~

Joyous tears are more apt to leak out.

They rarely splash, frequently requiring no kleenexes at all. The mere edge of a bent index finger is all that is called for.
A tiny gasp, a muted tear, one that never leaves the eye completely.

But again, a physical expression. Often one of grand beauty beyond word ability ~ breathtaking almost ~






You know, the little leaky tear at a wedding, the misty eye we develop with a good “chic flick, with a sentimental ending, or a speaker we could just listen to all day long that will captivate our heart and all of a sudden ~ wham into our heart and leave us with a tear.
We’ve all been there.

No one offers comfort, it’s not necessary.

These tears are softer, more gentle. We do not see them as weakness, but rather as a momentary lapse. If they cause others a moment of discomfort, someone teases or jokes to change the moment.




Sometimes we cry because we have laughed so hard our belly aches. The muscles used are in an agonizing knot. This is a good, laughing/crying jag. Can’t stop and desperately want to. No, need to.
The slightest provocation prompts another knee slapping fit of tears, and choking and those god-awful abdominal pains.
Yup, been there too, and it’s contagious. Soon everyone present is joining in. By the time we settle down it’s actually hard to remember the reason it started. Godson Kamryn does that to us alot... He just has a way of doing that and has to lean over and grab his knees laughing so very hard which throws us in fits of hysteria, not so sure what we are laughing about by then.


So don’t be afraid of tears.
Cry when you are terribly sad,
laugh until you cry when you experience some joyous or silly event.
If whoever you are with can’t cope with the tears, whatever their reason, go with your gut. Cry until you get the release you need.
Laugh yourself silly.        STOMP
It’s OK.
Both are reflections of surfacing emotional experiences.
When the occasion presents itself if the tears are joyous, join in. add your laughter to the event.
If some poor soul is grief stricken, or otherwise overwhelmed and crying.
Offer a kleeenex, sit close, don’t try to fix it.
The tears will help in the healing.
Be patient, be tender. empathize, don’t try to “make it all better”.
You can’t.



So give yourself permission to cry when you need to.
 Cry a river if you must.
                          Put your hips in it.
Give it all you’ve got.
This too will pass.
 No one, I repeat, No one has ever totally and completely dehydrated themselves by shedding tears.
It is not fatal.
       You will survive the experience.

As with all life’s mysteries, accept the tears when they come. They serve a purpose.
"TEars are the safety part of the heart when too much pressure is laid upon it" {Native American Elder}

OK, click here... but don't forget your way back... don't ya love this!?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-magrm3Voo

Even if we believe we have come unglued and will never experience a dry eye again, WE WILL. Eventually we will shed all the tears bottled up inside.
 At least for awhile. And if they resurface, go with it.

Just be kind and patient with yourself.
You are a deeply caring, tender hearted soul. Being able to weep just comes with the territory. REMEMBER... YOU ARE A SURVIVOR!
  STOMP

The fire is burning and its embers are hot... The messages are on their way on the gentle breezes:
HOPE in healing, thoughts on the wind ~ ` ~
Chris in NY ready for home, for health for restoring the balance and wellness
Jill days away from the end of chemo ~ we are fighting, warpaint on ~ CLIMB, you are a warrior, STOMP
Cindy in NC ~ the battle continues, we are with you dear one, peaceful days, we are with you ~
Virginia Porter ~ o-si-yo welcome Warrior we are here with prayers for you and your relations
Laura, MS sucks, you are a Warrior, warpaint on we are with you my friend always
Denise, Jim, Tom, Irene, Joey, Matthew, Jude, Judi, Phylis, Charlie Soap and family, 6 year old Shelby her family and friends, Joyce, Jeanne, Tammy Stansells' family, Vicki's mom and relations, "Southwest Virginia", "TN", Beverly and family ~
Andi and her Mom, peaceful days peaceful decisions...
WE are here, we are with you in prayers, in thoughts sending you strength to fight the battles that you are fighting, peace to lay down the sword when you are needing to rest, peace when peace is needed, laughter to lighten your load... Our warpaint is on...
When you are tired please rest... we are standing by.
When restored STAND UP... S T O M P
We are nearby, lean on us ~ we are a powerful group, we travel with the angels ... they are around you, with their arms around you and we are near by... May you find comfort in knowing ... you are not alone...
We are with you always...

Walk In Beauty,
DRSES
author of
Healing Heartaches, Stories of Loss and Life
http://www.drsherryeshowalter.com/

OK... Let's get this party started:
Tell someone about this page... search to the right side and read on... read the thoughts and comments of others! Buy someone a coke at a drive thru... pull up a bit and watch their face in your rear view... give em a card to this site and just smile that knowing smile... maybe an "unknowing smile" LOLs

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

I used to cry when I got really angry , because the anger would turn to frustration. Now I'm just to happy and un-frustrated to need those tears. It's a good thing. I think all eyes need a good cleansing cry now and then. Good for the soul too. It is hard to see someone you care about cry, but as the doc says. You can't fix it. Offer support and just "be there" through the tears. If we can't take the tears, maybe we should look at the way we show love, and caring. It is the duty of love to bear witness to the joy and the sadness. Always the balance.
Hope no one sheds atear today, unless it is a happy tear. Love to all here.

Anonymous said...

Well, if anyone needs a good "trigger" to let loose on some tears, here ya go:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5anLPw0Efmo

My daughter Molly was playing this on her iPod, and I just got a lump in my throat. Doesn't really "apply" to my life, but just the music itself..the angst...the sadness, longing.. Got me real good. I now have it on my iPod and listen when I need to let it go. The video is beautiful too...

It took me years and years to learn to cry. I couldn't do it. It was "weakness" to me. A sign to myself that I couldn't deal. What I didn't realize was that crying IS a way to deal..it's sometimes the best way. To admit that you have actual feelings inside you...and that it's ok. I have cried more in the last 2 years than my entire life before that combined. I have cried for myself, for my daughter, for my husband, for my family, my friends. And, I am cleansed......it is a release, and an admission that I am human....

Blessings to all
Lizzy

Cindy Cumbie said...

Feeling sad this morning - Had to leave work early yesterday & rush one of my kitties to the vert. He has diabetes & his sugar got dagerously low. Rocky stayed at the hospital last night & will tonight too. They have to adjust the insulin dosage. Vet says that it looks like for now we will have to lower the dosage. I told her that I need more education in how to tell if he is showing signs of too low or too high on his sugar. When he got sick night before last, that was a sign of too low, so I should have skipped yesterday morning's dose, but I didn't realize - -since I can't actually feel what he is feeling, I've got to learn to read symptoms. Now I'm feeling guilty also. My other kitties here missed Rocky last night too. - - - - yea, I have been needing to cry for a long time - - - Miss my Daddy (even tho he was really not a nice person to live with) - - - He's only been gone two & a half years.

viridian.com/greendays said...

not a cryer-nope won't do it, I use visine for cleansing - works great:)maybe I am just so damn happy, ok-lets go with that.
Happy Thursday - ROCK ON !

FIRM crier said...

I am an avid tear shedder, just ask Dr. SES
Been crying a river for years, still do, cannot help it, never killed me, actually does feel better afterwards. If I hold it all in,
my head will explode and then will be in trouble. I know peeps that don't CRY, can't cry. What's up with that ????
Hey doc, you are getting more & more amazing with these early morning novels.
I will go back and click on the 2 recommendations then perhaps comment again.
Love to everyone, ROCK on, CRY on, SMILE,STOMP
Irene

Anonymous said...

Great blog again this morning! Still trying to get an visiual in my head of the voice to go with these words of Dr Showalter... anyone really heard our DrSES speak ... I know I would love that experience. Reading Healing Heartaches once again... reading here and loving the comments of so many here, what a community of folks. Crying fo many, but sometmes i just have trouble getting my tears to come after so many pains and losses. so for me I listen to music, sometimes get a good ole movie that just jerks me to a tear filled evening and that clears it all out. Sometimes admire those that dont wont cry... guess they have just cried out or are just tooo touch huh? STOMP havin a party in my head today, wishing all the best from here in my part of the world. Best of all things to all on this blessed page. thanks doc you are really one of the best. hope you count me as one too but don't think your work will ever be done as long as we are here! LOLaughter everyone, having a coke for ya all. tears? laughter? give me the laughter, i've had enough tears.

chris said...

Good Morning all--don't need a reason to cry-to me that's the easy part!! Spent the past few days crying in happiness-even cried yesterday after watching the grnadkids get all muddied up after stomping in puddles!! what a great memory to take back with me to Fla..
Oh did mention 3 days and counting? I have had all the emotions these past few months-but this is the best of all.....by the way, 3 days and counting!!!!LOL I have been told that laughter is another form of tears so anyone who has had enough tears should go ahead and laugh till you cry or your tummy hurts--whichever comes first...Just enjoy!! Happy Thursday all...

Anonymous said...

I most certainly believe in shedding tears, some may just tear up, while others cry rivers.
The chemical composition of tears from sadness is quite different from others types of tears.
I am quite honored to have the opportunity to work with those diagnosed with cancer and one person diagnosed with MS. They do not believe that Cancer nor MS sucks, and it is wonderful to witness them healing so gracefully and so beautifully. Yes, enjoy this glorious day and realize that even illness is an extraordinary gift. Perhaps it is our poor attitudes that suck rather than the actual illness. True Healing is not a disease being in remission, but a person being in balance physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, and spiritually.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful blog today ~ beautiful day today ~ love the thoughts and the comments of others. have to disagree with the one about Cancer tho, being a Cancer surivivor times 2... I am here to tell you... CANCER SUCKS. yes, there are gifts, yes we are warriors, the battles are hard, the chemo is sometimes hell, the journey is frought with watching many you grow close to gettin remission, get recurrence, some dying in front of you. Having survivor guilt, celebrating and learning important gifts and lessons. but make no mistake this disease SUCKS. it is insidious, it does not discriminate. you have to fight, you have to aske for help, you have to learn to be creative. to fight to rest, to pray, to play. thanks doc for keepin it real, thanks to all for being here for always being near from a warrior who will always wear her warpaint and always fight for self and others.

Tonya Mae said...

Funny, I cry when I get really mad. I don't want to cry, I would rather open the biggest can of whoop ass and ask questions later. Then again, I don't like crying in general. I don't like to cry when I see something sad, happy or really sweet.. I know I have never felt like the feelings were mine to own, and I continue to work on this daily. I haven't had a REALLY good cry in a while.. maybe I am in need of one.. maybe not. :)

Anonymous said...

hello.... surely I have toalso DISAGREE with
yhe comment that CANCER does not SUCK,,, tell
me this again when a member of your family or
a close friend is FIGHTING! thank the world we all HAVE OPININIONS...

TEARS....today are streaming rivers... my cat of 21
years was devoured by a coyote.. not much left behind..max was my most devoted friemd....
T ARS today for a youmg man ,Matt, who passed on the 7th. for a reason YET determined, taken be
ANGELS , in his sleep...TEARS... for another young man, whom loved Jaren as if he was her brother... lies in ICU on life support, no apparent reason,,Jaren is on your shoulder!!
I also love HAPPY tears, and find many reasons to shed them...
The world around me, the sun. the moon. the flowers...
FOR ALL THAT I AM LUCKT TO HAVE HAD...
but today...I am too sad for HAPPY TEARS...

Anonymous said...

Cancer does SUCK, and so does MS. An extraudinary gift? You hold a twisted sense of blessings and gifts reader. I have seen these devistating diseases up close and know that there are no hidden gifts in these diseases. The people that love us and care for us would be there even if we were spared the condition. So, you are wrong and misguided. You "work" with people with cancer and someone with MS?
I feel bad for them. Hope you are no so ignorant of their experience that you wold say this to them. STOMP ON STUPIDITY. STOMP ON IGNORANCE. Enjoyed everyone elses thoughts and remarks, but not that one.

Anonymous said...

CANCER SUCKS.... gifts along the way, yes, MS SUCKS, ALS SUCKS, PARKINSONS SUCKS... gifts along the way, yes
anonymous so sorry for your loss and the young man who died suddenly along with the young man in ICU... prayers with you during your time of shock/and loss. we are with you many of us here. May you be surrounded in knowing we are with you here. The gifts in knowing that we are here, the saddnesss of a young life gone to soon a precious child gone to soon.
figh on warriors ... you are not the disease... BEAT THIS INSIDIOUS DISEASE WE MUST FIND A CURE FOR THESE INSIDOUS DISEASES ...
the gifts are there in spite of the facts that yes CANCER SUCKS...
and we are together in support and care for each other. God bless those of us as we stand united here.

chris said...

anyone who can say that cancer or MS or any of the other diseases that robs people of their life does not suck is sick and twisted. That person must off his/her meds. I think we should saying prayers for him/her to clear the brain. I KNOW CANCER SUCKS- I AM LIVING WITH IT AND WILL FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

Anonymous said...

So one commenter thinks that perhaps it is "our poor attitude that sucks" not the disease. Really? This sounds like a comment from Apex NC. Anyone smell the stench of the Wackadoodle Nutcake resurfacing? I don't have an "attitude" about sickness and life altering diseases. I have knowledge that no one deserves them. That they DO INDEED SUCK. So sit in your circle jerk with the imaginary people that you "work" with. Might try working on yourself. That would provide you with a real long term function.

Anonymous said...

LOVED LOVED THE BLOG, love love the comments albeit the one that says "our attitude is what sucks" and that one should embrace cancer and that cancer does not suck...;
that is one sick one indeed, one that has no clue of the real world, the real soul and God/dess knows does not know of those and their power on theses pages.
CANCER SUCKS... but the power of the people of this page will overcome and the warpaint is ON... we will stand together for and with each other ... thanks doc for all you are and all you do ... stand strong everyone... prayers and thoughts to all in your fight, in the battles... Stomp on Chris Jill and all who are here. YOU ROCK, you are the warriors, embrace the love, the gifts of you... blessings so mote it be

Anonymous said...

Late night read, great thoughts on tears, tears of gratitude for so many things, times and tears of sorrow, fear, loss and grief ~ tears of anguish, of profound and deep sadness... precious child, you left so soon...
CANCER SUCKS... the nicest way to say it here... but so many other ways run through my mind... I will stand at the ready to kick cancers' ass for as long as I can with and for anyone who has to when ever I am called to and on their behalf, while embracing the gift of life, of love and of those I meet along the way. thank you those who understand and are taking a stand right here... you are a blessing to me and to many. yes it would appear the one who needs not be here did return, but maybe just maybe will find another place to go that is more suited to sick statements... STOMPIN in TN where resiliency is alive and well.

Its Me again... said...

To the person who says "Cancer does not SUCK".. and is the same person who says "we all have opinions"... Well guess what you crazy, unstable, foul, evil person; opinions and REALITY are two totally very different things. And CLEARLY you are lacking in reality. I had cancer and I can tell you it DOES suck. As well as my friend who died of cancer and was laid to rest with a t-shirt that said "Cancer Sucks"...

Vicki said...

Loved your blog Sherry...tears are the telescopes that allow us to see into the heavens...love that one!
Most all of the readers comments too except one...
Have a blessed weekend!!

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