Wednesday, March 31, 2010

LIFESAVERS AND FAMILY OF CHOICE ~


The Girls!
They Call Themselves,
THE "LIFESAVERS"
Family of "Choice"



Wednesday morning! Good morning world, He/She is doing it again folks... Here comes the sun...

NEws FLASH FROM TARPON SPRINGS FL. LAST PM:
Tarpon Springs is reeling this morning after a local woman has killed a co-worker in a local Publix store after being fired from her job at Publix... how could this happen we all wonder... How could a young dedicated father end up dead at the hands of a young woman, another dedicated worker who had threatened him verbally, insulted him, and was overheard saying she would kill someone if she was  fired from her job, and she was. She returned and ultimately killed a young father; then went up and down isles attempting to kill shoppers, wounded a police officer and is now in critical care after being shot by an officer and was bay-flighted to Tampa... WHAT??? how could this be?  Tarpon Springs is in shock as are the regular shoppers in the area who knew them both... so very sad.\\\ so scary....

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I was thinkin as I listen to my spring time pals chirping their songs of greeting, "Thank You for the many blessings" about the wonderful "Family of Choice" I have come to know through the many years ~

31st Day of March... wow, where did this month go? I was watching the news and heard words, Passover, Easter... and realized... OH my... where did this month run to... and the 4 leggeds heard the thought! There they go, around the pool, chasing the squirrel that crawls in the tree barking at them, celebrating their morning, as the birds chime in...

S T O M P
S   T   O   M   P
GOOD MORNING EVERYONE

Seems like yesterday... we were talking about Thanksgiving... and here I sit waiting for spring 2010!

ah, great coffee this morning, my dear friend Laura is ready to start her birthday morning ~ Happy Happy Birthday dear Laura, so happy you are "family of choice", hope your celebration of you is splendid...

CHRIS, JILLY, DENISE, CINDY, JIM, DENI, JOE, JEREMY, JEANNE, TONYA, and all the others... WARPAINT ON... ANGELS ARE ROCKING AND READY TO WRAP YOU IN THE ARMS OF PRAYERS AND LOVE, THE BEAR CLAN ALONG WITH LILY THE BLACK BEAR AND HOPE ARE COOING AND PROTECTING YOU ON THE PATH TO STRENGTH ~ WE ARE UNITED WITH YOU... ALWAYS...
WEARING YOUR COLORS ~

Unfortunately not everyone has biological family in their life. Sometimes this is indeed because our loved ones have gone before us, sometimes this is because family is far away and we are not in frequent contact. And, sadly, some of us have family we are purposefully distant with. The often used expression “Dysfunctional” comes to mind. Some will tell you that they are the "fun"in the dys ctionional part of their family! Isn't that funny?



We would all like to think that just because we are blood relatives, we share important connections. This may be true, and indeed even the most twisted family members may be our own.
We honor them for the connection, but may not celebrate what they bring to the table. Somehow things changed, they changed; we changed, they may not bring the joy, the love, the same things we "stand for", or the same appreciation we have for life, love and tradition, or laughter...




Crazy uncle/aunt/cousin/niece/nephew? Unloving brother/sister? Emotionally abusive parent/grandparent? Physically abusive spouse or history of one?
Emotional baggage so heavy you refer to it as "samsonsite lugguage"?

I hope not, but I know of families that come together every holiday, and ruin it for each other. Biological families that dread the time they spend together simply because they treat each other so badly.






Sometimes it's just because they really don’t like each other. You know I don’t say this lightly.
I have great respect or families but I do not delude myself into thinking that every family member adds value to our life. I'm all about "family systems" I am an advocate of them myself! BUT, as most through the years and through this blog know . . . I do keep it real.
There are times when I have honestly just asked the question, "If this was not a family member would you want to go and have dinner with them"? I was not surprised to hear the answer of "Are you kidding me, NO I would never go and voluntarily have dinner or coffee if it wasn't a family obligation". However, most would have trouble honestly saying that for fear of what others would think of them... for fear of guilt, remorse, regret later on...

Keeping in mind that this is not all families, but dynamics do play a key role in some families, and definatley in many families when it comes to illness, dying death and bereavement... just think about that... or as the Cherokee say, "sit with it" for awhile, reflect on it if you will.







What to do about this? There are many and most times that situations like these are not ours "to do anything about! We may witness or hear stories, but it is not ours to judge nor to do with...

I believe that our “Family of Choice” can be a precious, hand picked group of loved ones that we select to share our lives with. Imagine if you could put together the “perfect” family. Screen out the mean drunks, the hateful, spiteful, critical, unloving ones that ruin our holidays, and create our own families. Well, we can and do. My beautiful Mom has her own "family of choice" too, through the years she has cultivate and maintained that "family of choice" throughout my lifetime.. Precious, special; she would take a bullet for Lavie, Jerry, Sue, Linda, O, Paul, Jimmy, Millie, and for others; she would stand for Lavie against the world... She would and she has that's what those two do... Guess that's just how we roll ~  us Cherokee, that's what Granny taught us, how to live well, and to love deeply, but to watch and to pick carefully within our heart space...
{{{*whole*lot}}}




For those who find themselves without family; and/or for those whose families are the relatives from hell. We all now those right? Just keepin it real! I guess some never extend to others but I cannot imagine that, and think I have even blogged about it before and it is probably in Healing Heartaches too! But for those who do not wish to be alone, finding friends, growing them into "a family:" seems to make sense to me!

To gather friends into a sacred circle, some may even call them into "extended family . . .
we gather to ourselves, this special and wonderful idea of  “Family of Choice”. Treasure these special compilations of love. Devote your energy to celebrating holidays with the family we choose. Treat them the way we wish our family could be, or replace the family we don’t have with this special gift we created that we callFamily of Choice.”




We are only alone and lonely if we make that our reality. Imagine a family made up of faithful and loving friends. Does it get any better than that?

Even for those of us that have a good or great or OUTSTANDING, BEAUTIFUL biological family, we can still add to the mix, our family of choice. Include someone in your family that may not have one of their own.
Create, or re-create or "ex-tend" your “family.” Gift those you love with family connections. Your life will be richer, and the lives of those you choose to surround yourself with will too be blessed.  Oh my, the memories I have as I sit here of so many gathered around Granny's kitchen table; having a blessingway and holding hands, going around that table, into the living room, around into the hall, and back again into that warm and smell good kitchen hands joined together . . . people everywhere...
Now that was kinship, extended family, great food, laughter filled the air; kids running in and out... Amazing grace, fluidity in motion ~ Emotion is motion ~
Can I get an "Amen" a "what=what" a,
"Thank YOu Granny"
a "STAND UP AND CELEBRATE YOU AND SAY "YES"
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
whew, that felt great, thanks!

I have a both a biological family, and a “Family of Choice.” I am doubly blessed.  Wow, I feel a great day coming on... How bout' let's stretch into it... ready?

SIT UP STRAIGHT
OK, LET'S GO
BACK STRAIGHT
HEAD UP
LOOK TO SKY
NOW ROLL YOUR HEAD SLOWLY TO RIGHT
AWWW THAT'S IT R O O L
NOW BACK
WAAAY BACK LOOOOK UP AT CEILING FEEEL IT
GOOOD NOW SLOWLY BACK TO CENTER
GREAT
NOW SLOWLY LOOK DOWN
WAAAYYYY DOWN
FURTHER DOWN
OOOHHHH DOWN
OOOHHHH
OK SLOWLY COME ON BACK UP TO SCREEN
SLOOOWWWLY
GREEAT
NOW
LOOOK LEFT SLOOOWLY
WAAAY LEFT
MORE LEFT
GOOD BACCK TO CENTER
SHRUG SHOULDERS UP TO EARS AND HOLD
(*I DONT KNOW UP UP TO EARS)
GOOD HOLD
NOW
NOW
DROP SHOULDERS
CLUNK
GREAT
OK
FEET ON FLOOR?
LIFT
TOES
LIFT
FEEL IT?
FEEL
IT?
OUCH?
GOOD
DO 5 TIMES!
(I DOIN IT WITH YOU NOT WAITING(
LA LA LA
SING
YAY

STAND UP

STOMP
RAISE ARMS IN AIR
CELEBRATE YOU
S T O M P
S    T    O    M    P


YOU ARE WONDERFUL
YOU ARE GREAT
GO AND HAVE SUPER DAY

YOU ARE WARRIOR

Lily Black bear and HOPE now have more than 94,000 fans on facebook!!!

Awesome aren't they? BUT they are now taking little outings which is making all the humans watching nutz I tell ya, just nutz... LOL...

Blessing to each of you and those you love.

Andrea is headed to New England to spend time with her Dad, Family and many friends, the traditional and time honored pow-wow around the kitchen table will be happening soon ~ with angels watching and up to tricks to be certain ...

Talked to a woman yesterday who told me a funny thing she saw on her facebook post: it read "I don't seek revenge cos' as I see it Karma is a bigger bitch than I could ever be"...
Sending prayers of strength and healing ways to several who are fighting CANCER, undergoing treatments; have assured them that this page is filled with others who "get it" and who will put on their warpaint and join with them... Send your energy, they will know who it is from.
Joan, know that it will be alright, have many working on sending you what you need, faith hope and prayers.
CHRIS, NO VACUUMING, NO LIFTING ANYTHING HEAVIER THAN A FEATHER!

<><><>

The fire is burning and the embers are red hot, from the smoke the messages are on the wind to those who need and those who want the message, and you know what it is... It is yours.

author of:
Healing Heartaches, Stories of Loss and Life

http://www.healingheartaches.com/

Available at Amazon, Borders and Infinity Publishing BBOTW.COM











Stop for a moment and make a short list of who you consider your family of choice.






Treat this family tenderly, contribute only good, loving, and caring energy. Protect it fiercely. Give the best of yourself to it. You will be so glad that you have



11 comments:

Irene said...

Great picture and blog this morning, Sherry !
TAKE IT EASY ON THE COFFEE !!!! l o l
Oh, Spring is in the air and family is front
and center. Your topic hit home for me, makes
me reflect and list those important in my life
My bio-family & family of choice.
Strength to Chris in your healing and to all
those reading on this site. Extending my hand
to those in need of anything I can offer.
My presence, my muscle to move belongings, or to "move" them into reality when the down-in-the-dumps hit them. I have in turn seen good return to me over and over.
I am BREATHING, STOMPING & REACHING today !!
IceScream remains F I R M

chris said...

Good Morning Sherry--too late-- the vacumming is done and the oven is now cleaned. I can rest later.
Right now my family up here needs me and I need my family down in Florida--so the sooner I get done here, the sooner I can come home. gotta go make some beds--talk to ya later. L&H

Anonymous said...

WOW, STRETCHED OUT, READY TO STOMP.........
THANKS TO ALL THAT FIND BIO/CHOSEN AND CHOOSE TO EMBRACE OTHERS AND THIS PAGE.
CHRIS YOU ARE JUST STUBBORN ,THANK GOD AND THE ANGELS FOR CARRYING SOME OF THE WEIGHT ON THIS AND THE VACUUM TOO! TO THE OTHERS AND JILL YES WE ARE HERE FOR YA. FIGHTING WITH ALL WE HAVE AND WE WON'T LET YOU DOWN. SURE HOPE WE GET LOTS OF COMMENTS AND THE ENERGY AND MOTION CAN BE FELT ACROSS THE WIND AS DOC SAYS COS IT IS HERE. THANKS FOR TOSDYA BLOG I'M ON IT. I JUST HAD A V-18 LOL

Anonymous said...

PUBLIX reminds me of GOOD KARMA!
When I had taken the time to write a letter complimenting a woman in the Deli Department and send it to the Corporate office in Lakeland, I soon after won a one thousand gift card for Publix in a random drawing!
I then wrote a letter complimenting a cashier and soon after won another gift card for another thousand dollars worth of Publix groceries. Wow! Wrote 2 letters...won Two Thousand dollars.
The sad Publix story in today's blog should be a walk up call as to what happens when we insult and threaten people. I'll keep writing letters talking about ALL the good people do and complimenting them.
Hope some LEARN from the heartbreaking and devastating events that occured at Publix.

Lizzy said...

Anonymous...yeah right...you do realize that we can see who posted this anyway, right? Shall I call you Linda, or Michelle? Your multiple personalities are showing, dear...best get a slip for that. I will not insult, nor will I threaten...I will simply state fact: I, Elizabeth, child of the Goddess, daughter of the Firebird, do now call upon the Furies. In the name of Earth, I bury you, in the name of Air, I blow you away, in the name of Fire, I burn your evil from my thoughts, in the name of Water, I drown your acid words...So mote it be.....

jgrusso1 said...

I am blessed to come from a very large wonderful family, but my family of choice are equally as important to me. Iv'e heard it said that in life there are no coincidences, you have the people in your life that are meant to be there for a reason, some for a short time and some for a life time. I am thankful for all of them. Life can be challenging, and it is our family and friends who carry us through.

Anonymous said...

Lizzy, right there with you. Chris, vaccuming? Cleaing ovens? Making yet some more beds? What are you thinking. Sad for the family of those harmed by the maniac shooter at Publix. There are nutcases everywhere. Like we readers need more proof that some poeple just take up space on this planet that would better be put to use as a septic tank. Sending heartfelt prayers to the victims. Andrea, have a safe trip, enjoy!
Irene you are creating your own new and better experiences. You are fierce, and funny too.
Joan, a door closed, a biger, better door will open for you soon. Believe it. You are the bomb! Blessings to our circle of friends and family of choice that share here. Good riddence, bad rubbish to the other one.

Vicki said...

Hi Sherry,

I read your blog tonight and was surprised that you mentioned the Publix shooting in it.
I am... at a loss for words of someone writing that the incident was good karma...
What a complete idiot...
I for one....knew him. He was very good friends with my 2 beautiful nephews and he, his wife and young daughter were in & out of my brothers' home for all kinds of celebrations with our family. He was a joy to be around...
I have known his Mom for more than half my life and the poor woman is going to bury her 2nd child, he is her oldest.
I really feel whomever is writing these terrible things needs to dissapear...
That...was very disturbing to me...

Thank you Sherry for your blog...
Prayers to Chris and all others who are going through trials in their life...
God bless the Janowski & Kapetanis Family...the family of Greg Janowski...

DrSES said...

Vicki,

Please extend my deepest condolences to the family of Greg Janowski and the Kapetanis Family. I had met this lovely man at Publix a couple of times... I am at a loss for words as the rest of Tarpon Springs during this time.

Take best care of you during these trying and often ugly times. Thank you for reading and commenting on the blogs. I am also so sorry that you had to read the post calling it "good Karma" prior to my deleting it.

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Many Blessing.

anita said...

Hi Sherry: This is a wonderful place & very peaceful. It gives HOPE to so many. Thanks for posting the "Beary Stages of Grief". May it give comfort to all who love & miss these beautiful creatures. It is so nice that people can blog and share their feelings here. I read the story of the young man who was killed by a co-worker. My deepest condolences to his family and all who loved him. Have a Blessed Easter! Anita